Rampage: Capital Punishment (2014)

A man takes over a TV station and holds a number of hostages as a political platform to awaken humanity, instead of money.

The Cast:

• Little Bill Williamson
• Ted from Hey Dude
• The Best Damn News Team Ever
• Inept cops
• Civilian Canon fodder

The Situation:

3 years after the events of the first film, Bill Williamson has returned, this time taking control of a local news station in the next stage of his anarchist agenda. He basically wants to Purge the 1% and is imploring people to help him rid the world of the corrupt rich and save the world. 

Sandwiched in between is his slaughter if the 99% which basically amounts to population control.

The Resolution:

People are killed, stuff is blown up and the highly implausible adventures of Little Billy Williamson continue.

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Line of the film: "What I've done in the past and what I'm doing today, is because there is no gun control."

I can't decide I whether that line is funny or sad, but it rings true either way. 

You've probably never heard of either, but if you're in the mood for a popcorn flick that's just randomly destructive, look no further. The Rampage Series is what postal should have been, --someone going crazy and shooting things-- but it's better as it's own film. Specifically, what sets it apart are the high production values and the obscene amount of destruction caused by one man. In the first film, dude nearly layed waste to an entire town. Capital Punishment, though, is a lot more talky than the first but the story is roughly the same.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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I Didn't Ask For It, I Don't Need It, But If It Doesn't Work, I'll Raise Hell

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Life After Beth (2014)

 

The Cast:

• Molly Shannon
• John C. Reilly
• Cheryl Hines
• That guy from Chronicle
• Aubrey Plaza
• A guy who appears to be Paul Reiser*

 

After his girlfriend suddenly dies via snake bite, Zach is devastated. About a week later, her family stops returning his calls and he heads to their house only to discover that Beth is alive and her family is keeping it secret.

After things calm down he is finally told what happened. "She was dead and now she's not." He resolves that she may or may not be a zombie, but he's so happy to have her back that quickly blinded to the truth.

Soon after, ALL of the town's dead have risen and a full blown zombie epidemic is upon the town.

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Life After Beth is less horror and more black comedy, but that doesn't make it any less entertaining. Despite a few plot holes and unexplained phenomena, it's still a pretty rock solid little film. My only real hang up was that I couldn't not see April Ludgate. I kept waiting for Andy to come in and save the day, but he's too busy playing with LEGO and saving the galaxy.  

Overall, It was a very mild zombie flick with a not so subtle message of "let go"  and "careful what you wish for." They also saw fit to throw in at least one pair of titties for guys like me.

*turns out that guy really WAS Paul Riser.

Line of the Film:

Zack: "Beth, you fucking ate a guy!"
Beth: "Duh, Zach. I'm a fucking zombie. Zombies eat guys!"

 

Violence? Yes but nothing crazy
Explosions? Of the Living Dead
Nudity? One scene

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The Possession Of Michael King (2014)

After his wife dies, Michael King decides to use himself to prove or disprove the supernatural. Filming himself 24/7, goes through all manner of supernatural rituals hoping that some proof would finally be captured on camera. He will learn the hard way that shit is real as he finds himself tormented by a demon who's sole purpose is to "fuck him up" and get him to kill his daughter.

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The Possession of Michael King is a very tight little film. Good premise, good acting and the story actually flowed with few, if any, hiccups. If I had to gripe about this film it would be the same issue I have with every film in this genre, I will never understand why people tempt demons and spirits and shit. Does that shit ever end well?!  

Anyway, hats off to the guy that played Michael King. I have no idea why I'm noticing specific performances in these types of films all of a sudden but this guy crushed his role. I'm fairly certain he wasn't doing the contortions his character did on screen but I was impressed regardless. The Possession of Michael King is definitely worth a watch, especially if you're into the genre.

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of demon related madness
Nudity? No

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Leprechaun Origins (2014)

 

Two young couples backpacking through Ireland discover that one of Ireland's most famous legends is a terrifying reality.

A group of friends are traveling through Ireland. On the last weekend of their trip, they hear of ancient Celtic ruins and of course decide to visit. What they weren't expecting was to be sacrifices to the vengeful leprechaun who torments the village seeking retribution for his stolen gold.

Let's talk Leprechaun for a second. Gone is the rapping leprechaun who use to bang in the hood.(He's probably still floating around in space.) Gone is the whimsical jokester leprechaun that comically requests his gold and can't resist shining a shoe or two. In his place is a terrible, new incarnation who is, for all intents and purposes, ugly as fuck and bred to kill. Unfortunately, since we live in a PG-13 world, a lot of the deaths were off-screen, which totally fucking sucked, but we did get one sweet spine ripping death scene. So, eh.

As for the rest of the film, no one ever really watches these films for the characters, but they were decent for what it's worth and Little Billy Williamson from Rampage might have actually survived, had he brought his suit of armor. And his guns. And his rage.Overall though,  I never thought I'd say this, but Leprechaun Origins is a pretty decent film. It is ultimately no different than the 400,000 films of this genre, yet because it is a WWE film I expected much, much worse. I mean, have you seen See No Evil? Ugh..

Check it out if you come across it. Or not. It's your life. Whatever.

 

Violence? It's there. Somewhere.
Explosions? Many pants were shat in fear
Nudity? Nope

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The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

 

I came across this flick browsing Netflix, and after reading the plot, I threw this one on immediately. It seemed like such an interesting concept. A woman with Alzheimer's may or may not be possessed and by the time everyone figures out what's going on. It may be too late.

The Taking of Deborah Logan starts off slow, but provides what may a decent depiction of life with Alzheimer's. Over the course of 60 days, a documentary film crew films a woman with the disease for a medical thing and above all else, It looks like it sucks both having and having to deal with someone who has it.

From day one, Deborah Logan seemed to be a pretty creepy old lady. The Alzheimer's didn't help her case and the eventual possession certainly didn't change my opinion. Her performance though is stellar. Pure talent.

Watching the footage, her the crew and her daughter begin to suspect there's something much more sinister taking hold of Deborah and their suspicions are confirmed once they find out she is linked to the disappearance of a local serial killer. As things get crazier, some of the most real talk ever is put to film as the cameramen basically put their feet down, ask for double pay and eventually walk the fuck away while the daughter resigns herself to alcoholism, and medical officials try to figure out just what is going on.

Because they spend so much time creating the tense atmosphere, it feels a bit longer than it is. Don't let that turn you away. It's still a solid movie and although I wasn't too happy with the direction the film took in the second act, (the logic of the possession) it managed to pull itself together to end the film decently.

Line of the film (non-spoiler):

"Fucking white people and their attics and basements." 

 

Violence? Mild
Explosions? Of creepy shit
Nudity? Surprisingly,  but titty is titty.

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