Despicably Awesome

I came up with this idea the day/weekend after watching Despicable Me 2. Thought it would be cool to have a split face image between the Minions, since, they are essentially the stars of the movie.

Apparently, I'm  not allowed to sell this one. [I received a DMCA takedown notice]. The stupid shit is that there are a shit ton of minion designs on the website. Why this one?

NVM there's a movie coming out and I guess the purple minions are off limits.

Jerks.

On the bright side, I guess this means that someone is looking at my work.

Enjoy!

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Despicable Me 2 (2013)

The Greatest, meanest super villain has had an official change of heart after adopting three girls in the last film. Yes, you've read that right, Gru and his minions are now good guys and we start the film at the Princess party he's throwing for Agnes' birthday.

The Cast:

• Gru villain turned hero 
• His secret agent partner 
• The kids
• El Macho, the Manliest super villain ever
• Pollito the guard chicken
• The minions, including Kevin Dave and Tim

The Situation:

The League of Anti Villains have recruited Gru to help them save the world as a secret high tech lab has gone missing and with it, a top secret serum that could have disastrous effects if left in the wrong hands.

Unbeknownst to Gru, his minions have also gone missing. Is it connected? You'll have to watch to find out.

The Resolution:

The villain is found, the world is saved and true love exists. This you already knew. The fun is in getting there.

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Despicable Me 2 is actually a pretty fun movie. Obviously not as good as the first, but definitely a worthy sequel. There are call backs to the first film and it doesn't stray from the universe it created. That makes it feel like more like a direct sequel than a related cash grab. (Like the standalone Minion movies)

Speaking of which, The minions are again consistently one of the best parts of the film. Stealing nearly every scene they are in, speaking their weird blend of Spanish, Korean, French and Italian.

Again, it was pretty good. Watch it. I laughed a lot and enjoyed it and in the end, that's all that matters.

Violence? Animated
Explosions? Of Volcanic proportions
Nudity? There is Minion ass if you're into that sort of thing. No judgments though.

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (2013)

The third installment of the Wimpy Kid series. Have enjoyed the first two. Don't think they can keep it entertaining forever....

It's summertime and Greg and the gang are headed to the 8th grade in the fall. Greg has plans to make the most of his summer by playing video games and getting closer to Holly. His father on the other hand thinks he should be doing active sports and pretty much forbids him from playing any games. However, fortune smiles on Greg when he discovers that Rowley has a membership to a prestigious country club and Holly is also a member.  There, he makes plans to salvage his summer, even going so far as to lie to his parents about working there.

As always in these scenarios, the parents find out the truth and after the most recent turn at disappointing him, he faces the threat of being sent off to Spag Union, a disciplinary boarding school. A Wilderness Scouts retreat with his father is Greg's final chance to save himself and change his father's mind.

Stray Quotage:

"Fregly claims to wear a special cologne, but everyone knows he just never washes."

"In case we don't make it, there's something I must tell you, "one time I went to the bathroom without washing my hands.
One time I used your toothbrush to get dog poop off my shoe.
Wait, what?"

The Wimpy Kid movies are always good for a laugh. Especially that Chirag Gupta. [Man, that little dude is hilarious.] But the one thing I've taken away from these films is that  no one is really aging but the dude that plays Greg. He's noticeably getting older and the weird thing is, Roderick, who's supposed to be the oldest sibling, isn't. Man, it must suck to hit puberty on film. I bet that money is right though.

Violence? No
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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The Hungriest Hippos

Some Background:

The original Title was Too Hungry Hippos. I think The Hungriest Hippos is a better title and from concept to final design, this is one of my favorites. Check out the progression. I've even decided to leave the notes on my hand drawn sketch. It's come a long way.

 Here is the 1st colored (heh) version (untouched)

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Hatchet 3 (2013)

In pt 2 reverend zombie led a group out into the swamps to help Mary Beth take revenge on Crowley for the deaths of her father and brother. We learned a bit more about Crowley then, but part three aims to wrap things up and destroy the character for good. Plus part two introduced us to Crowley's comically large chainsaw

I'm super psyched about this film. 

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The Cast:

• Mary Beth
• PoPo
• Crowleys
• A Journalist
• Supreme Firepower

The Situation:

Picking up directly where we left off, Mary Beth finds her way out of the swamp and walks into the local sheriff's station, only saying, "I killed him."

She relays to the sheriff that's she's killed local boogeyman, Victor Crowley, who is a widely known urban legend in Louisiana. He doesn't believe in Victor Crowley and finds it hard to believe that a ghost has killed her whole family. Suspecting her, he puts together a team and heads to honey island swamp, where they keep finding bodies. Investigating the situation, Crowley reappears and fucks shit up.

A journalist who goes to visit Mary Beth in the jail, has been doing an investigation into Victor Crowley. She basically says that Victor Crowley cannot be killed. He's been cursed to relive the day off his death forever and no amount of physical damage can keep him from returning to a physical form.

There is a way to break the curse however, but to do so, Mary Beth must once again return to the island and face down the monster.

The Resolution:

In theory, the only way to end the curse is to give Crowley what he wants. So Mary Beth and Amanda the journalist, head out to another town to retrieve the ashes of Thomas Crowley. Believing that giving Victor his father's ashes would finally put his soul at peace.

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Leave. The Swamps. Alone!

Stray Quotage:

"This isn't Casper the Friendly Ghost.
      Well how do you know?
Because Casper doesn't tear people apart with his bare hands."

"You didn't fight back?
    No, I hid. And that's the only reason those aren't my balls hanging from that tree!!

 

"Hey, you want to hide in a bush with me?!"

 

"Fuck this. His ego is gonna get us all killed. I'm out.

"What's up, you swamp bitch?! Running around in your fucking overalls, killing everyone I know..."

Hatchet 3 is everything I thought it would be: Short, gets to the point quickly, is equal parts gore and comedy. Crowley exists. The curse exists. Mary Beth must be the one to break it. In the meanwhile, Crowley runs amok and destroys nearly everyone until he's put to rest. The best part about the Hatchet movies are the kills and although we had to wait about 30 min it's well worth it. Dude was killing people who weren't even in the film. Someone just wandered on screen and got it. I think he went through about 10ppl in 5 min. Brutal.

As it did with the first two, Hatchet 3 has completely satisfied my bloodlust. From the opening scene it establishes itself as dark, gory and as funny as the first two. It has also satisfactorily wrapped up the storyline started in the first. If you haven't seen the previous films, The story is retold in film and it isn't a 10 minute long thing. There's also in jokes and references to the first few films and they actually flow with the film and don't seem forced.

Overall, It's actually pretty cool how consistent this series has been.

Watch it. Watch it now.

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Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Breakfast of Champions

I promised you all something else bacon related and today, I shall deliver. Finally, everyone's favorite breakfast finally gets the typographic respect it deserves

Here is the concept art/original design:

Get a load of those divider lines. Umm hmm. Yeah. Damn right.

You can see the end design is a bit different than the concept, but it didn't turn out too far off. I think if anything, the bacon was the hardest thing to do, yet as usual, it was also the most satisfying. Making the toast was nothing to sneeze at either, I tell ya what...

Also had to decide whether or not to butter the toast. I think we're all happier with the result.

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13/13/13 (2013)

For Millennia, calendars have added an extra day every four years. In doing so, they violated the ancient Mayan calendar. Now we are in the 13th month of the 13th year of the...

[Even Netflix couldn't even be bothered to  finish their summary. This movie is gonna be terrible..]

The Cast:

• Jack
• Candace
• Crazy Mofos

The Situation:

People are going crazy and everyone is slowly loading their minds. Becoming violent, cranky and generally disrespectful.

According to Candace, a woman he meets at the hospital following his wife's psychotic break, people who were born on a leap year are seemingly immune to the chaos. She explains the situation to Jack. February 29th is not supposed to exist and the current day is 131313, as every leap year has added a day to the calendar.

Although the evidence around him is overwhelming, he decides to disbelieve Candace and rescue his daughter, who most certainly has gone bat shit crazy along with the rest of the world. [If he knew that his daughter was killing and eating spiders, he probably wouldn't have tried so hard to save her.]

The Resolution:

There is no resolution. Everyone dies.

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This is the thing. I felt kinda forced and obligated to watch this movie. Not only have I seen three different versions of 11/11/11, I've seen 12/12/12 AND I suggested 13/13/13 in that review. I brought this upon myself and I don't have much of a choice here. Don't judge me.

Whatever. You're a jerk.

Sidenote:
Why are they still making end of the world Y2k movies? Isn't there some other thing to latch on to?

Sidenote 2:
Asylum movies are a door way into Hollywood for first time directors and actors. They are extremely low budget, so if your movies is good, it opens up more doors. Third movie is not. Far from it in fact. Bad writing, Bad dialogue, bad direction, it's all there and it was about as bad as I expected it to be. Let's never talk about it again.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of violence and F-bombs
Nudity? No

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The Tower (2012)

A Christmas party at a luxury high rise in Seoul turns into a nightmare when two helicopters collide over the building, starting a deadly fire.

Tower Sky is the largest residential skyscraper in south Korea. 110ft twin towers with a sky bridge at the 70th floor. On the night of their big xmas party, two helicopters, carrying artificial snow, hit an updraft, lose control and crash into the buildings. When the gas tank of the first plane explodes, the top half of the building is engulfed in flames. It was discovered that the sprinkler system has frozen pipes and as a result there is no water above the 60th floor. 

The Firefighters, who have worked quickly to extinguish the fires at its point of origin, and have evacuated most of the building,  are under pressure from their Commissioner to neglect the people trapped in a restaurant on the bottom floor and save the remaining important people first. Also, due to the intense heat, the building itself is fracturing and suffering structural damage which may cause it to collapse. To head that off, there are plans to blow it up, regardless of who is left inside.

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The Destruction was like 9/11 times 9/11

The Tower is a Korean version of The Towering Inferno and 9/11. People are trapped in a high rise that suddenly catches fire. It will collapse due to structural damage. Aside from that, the film is itself is dramatic, (so be prepared for that) but the action scenes and visual effects are dope and they secretly carry the film. (Only because some of the characters are terrible.)

If nothing else, The Tower is something to watch on a rainy day. Especially if you liked The Towering Inferno and/or want to relive 9/11.

 

Violence? Hot man on fire action
Explosions? Hot fire on concrete action
Nudity? Nope

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The Bacon Bowtie

I like Bacon. I like Bowties. Today, the two meet. In Typographic Form.

For lack of a better name, I'm calling this one the Bacon Bowtie.

A Lil Background:

If you haven't read my homeboy's post on a trendy little spot called BarBacon, you should totally do that. I'm not not saying that this post on NOM in NY inspired this shirt, --I'm not really saying that. My turnaround is not that quick-- but it definitely pushed me to get it out a little quicker. [I figure it's food related and it's dope. Could be their official shirts. Maybe I can get them to review this on their site? Nah. They won't review anything they can't eat. Those selfish jerks.]

Also, there's another bacon related design coming soon.

Stay Tuned...

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Only God Forgives (2013)

 

When a cop kills the brother of a British gangster who runs a Bangkok fight club, his crime-boss mother flies in from London to supervise revenge.

 

The Cast:

Ryan Gosling/ Julian
Billy the bro aka Sir DB
Police Chief Chops-A-Lot aka Samurai Cop
Mama (Te quiero, Mamaaaaa!!!!!)
Mai, hot Thai stripper chick.

The Situation: 

Billy and Julian, run a fight club type of operation in Bangkok. Thai men fight, people wager on the outcome and occasionally drugs are passed through.

Billy is a scumbag and he actually deserved to be killed. Raping and killing prostitutes, drinking, beating women and cruising the streets for 14yr old tang? Yep, that's no way to gain sympathy as a character. Julian tracks down his killer and accepts his death as justified. His mother on the other hand, isn't so easily pacified, and she sets off a chain of events and pits the family against the hard edged chief of police, samurai cop who isn't afraid to go above the law and get his hands dirty to stop crime. 

The basic premise behind Only God Forgives is "an unstoppable force meets an immovable object," but with Julian caught in the middle of the chaos. Yes his brother was killed and yes he should want  revenge, but the killing was sort of justified. His mother, on the other hand, wants swift and brutal revenge, not caring that she's up against a samurai cop who is will bring her family nothing but ruin for crossing his path.

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Now I've...had...the time of my liiifffee......

With the exception of The Ides of March, I'd say that Ryan Gosling has been attempting to make the most of his anti hero persona developed in Drive. This film though, doesn't much to help.  He's just in it to look pretty and collect a paycheck. Dude barely talks and except for one scene where he fights (and loses) he doesn't really do shit but look mopey for the entire film. Aside from all of that, it's deliberately slow, painful, and includes a lot of long stares and silence. Tension is supposed to be being built but nothing is really happening other than Karaoke. (Asians sure do like their karaoke)
 

Only God Forgives is like an art house picture film. Like it's trying to be something more than it is. Also, it's a strange movie, Everyone moves like robots. It's weird. Do yourself a favor and don't watch it. Dopest part of this movie is that poster. Which has already been made into a shirt, here

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of slow paced, well plotted violence
Nudity? Yes? No? Idk. They'd have to throw in a lot of titty to salvage this film.

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Respect Yourself

For those of you unaware, Chozen is a dope show that currently airs on FXX.

Inspired by the show, I did this shirt and I'm actually kinda impressed with how it came out:

Going Forward, if you click on the pic, it will take you directly to my shop at RedBubble, or wherever else I'm selling these. Check it out.


Here's a pic of the original concept. (I can't draw for shit.)

Background:

Chozen is an animated comedy about its title character, "Chozen," a gay white rapper fresh out of prison. Armed with a new message, Chozen is on a quest for redemption and to claim his rightful position as the world's top rap artist. His music and lyrics take aim at the stereotypes of machismo and misogyny that is synonymous with rap music. And his new world view has been shaped by his time in prison.- FX

Here's the RED BAND trailer. (NSFW)

 

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El Guapo

The Three Amigos was one of my favorite movies growing up. I watched it again the other day and it holds up surprisingly well. Anyway, this design was inspired by the film:

Originally, I wanted to do something with the Amigos themselves. I had the idea for something like the trio in the traditional Charlie's Angels Pose. Unfortunately for me, that had already be done, fortunately for you, it has been done way better than I ever could.

Check this out, Shit is cash:

 The artist is Crocktees and you can buy it by clicking here.

 Yo, hurry up and buy my shirts so I can make enough money to buy this shirt!

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The Miami Connection (1987)

The Miami Connection has got to be one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I've seen in a while. I honestly miss movies like these. 

The premise is simple, there's a  Japanese biker gang who are bikers by day and ninjas by night. The biker ninjas are trying to control Miami in order to further their drug trade and other nefarious activities. The only thing stopping them from achieving total supremacy is a band of musicians known as DragonSound. They are all orphans, best friends and black belts in taekwondo,  capable of wrecking shop if pushed.

After a few minor squabbles with a band that used to perform at their club, DragonSound are pushed into a direct blood feud with the Miami Ninja after a member is killed in an ambush. 

 Cocaine!!!!

The movie is bad. No one is claiming it's good. This is, the music is dope. I could see myself buying the soundtrack (if bugging things were still in fashion) If nothing else, I'd watch it again just for that. Also the concept of a biker gang by day, killer Ninja squad by night is hilarious. And they have their own theme song! This movie is so 80s.    

 

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of sound and karate
Nudity? Titty does make an appearance, but really, beggars can't be choosers I guess.

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Emmatainment Mk.2

Here is an alternate take on the #Emmatainment design.

 

Again, I may or may not have something else in the pipeline. Probably not, but we'll see.
If this one is better, I'll sell this instead. Hell, I may do it anyway.

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The Last Stand (2013)

The sheriff of a sleepy border town finds his quiet life interrupted when a drug boss escapes FBI custody and fled straight toward his town.

 

Ah-nold is back. The Last Stand was his  first official starring role since being Governor, and he's a little older, a little slower, but he's still got it. Apparently forest Whitaker is also in this (for which there no excuse), but I do like Peter Stormare. He's awesome.

At the town's diner, Sheriff Arnold spies a couple of shifty eyed truckers and decides to run their plates as he thinks they were suspicious. The plates come back clean, but unbeknownst to him, he really is up to some shady stuff.

During a nighttime prison transport, under the watch of Mister Whitaker, one of the country's most notorious gangsters escapes, with a very well orchestrated prison break. [It was actually a pretty cool sequence of events.] There's a typical FBI manhunt until the gang cross into Schwarzeneggers borders. There, he and his crew make their last stand, attempting to hold off the bad guys until help arrives. Generally after all the hard work has been done. 

 

The getaway car, a modified Corvette Zero one, is a thing of beauty. I'm not a car guy, but even I had to acknowledge it's greatness. Specifically it's MPG. Dude drove it over 90 for about a, legit day and didn't even need to refuel once. Dope.

  

The Last Stand is better than I thought it would be. Like I said, the car and the prison break were dope. On top of that, This movie sounds and looks amazing. It really is a much better movie than I originally gave it credit for. Plus, It's always nice to see Luiz Guzman as he's one of my favorite supporting actors.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Pfft. A Schwarzenegger movie without explosions? What do you think you're watching, Twins?
Nudity? None

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The Heart

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, my newest design, The Heart:

For lack of a better name, I'm calling it "The Heart."

If you're interested or if you just want to support a "starving artist" please buy the shirt from here: The Heart

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