Forget Me Not (2013)

I wasn't going to write a review for Forget Me Not as it's largely a paint by numbers teens vs ghosts type of flick and if you've seen one, you've seen them all. Here's the rub, I was digging the concept of this film:

A group of teens play a game of ghost tag in a cemetery and soon find themselves playing ghost tag for realz and we learn that only one can survive the game. During the game, very subtle shifts would occur as each teen met their demise, however, with only one of them being aware of the shift, they are instantly branded as crazy and helpless to stop the onslaught. Once I figured out what they were doing, I had to see how it played out. 

It is important to note that there are no minorities in this film. I'm fairly certain that it's because they couldn't get one of us to play these crazy white people's games in the middle of a graveyard.

And since I'm here, what is it with White people and "unwittingly" summoning the dead? There's almost always a Ouija board, a seance failing that, and should those not be options, "how about we play tag in the graveyards?" Seriously?! 

This is what happens when you play tag in cemeteries!

It is also important to note that the effects and dialogue were pretty bad and there was not any gratuitous nudity.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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+1 (2013)

I had wanted to see this movie ever since I came across It's trailer a few months back. The plot intriguing and I'm curious to see where it goes.

The Cast:

• David
• Jill
• Teddy
• Allison

The Situation:

On the night of a huge party, an object crash lands from space and begins to cause electrical outages in the town.

After the latest outage during the party, a group of friends discover what appear to be clones of themselves and they set out to figure out exactly what has happened. What they learn is that the clones are exact copies of them from an earlier point in day and with each blackout, the clones get closer to real time.

As the night goes on, group one decides to take the other down as a means to survival.

///////////////////

+1 is actually pretty good. The first 30 min are basically like Project X but with an additional romantic subplot. Overall though, it could be better, but it it's definitely pretty good for what it was. I'm not a fan of the ending but it really couldn't end in any other way considering the story that was put forth.

Sidenote: In the craziest night with a wild party AND clones, one dude is hell bent on reclaiming his lost love and his friend Allison seems to only want to fuck herself. Pfft, white people parties are crazy. Seriously. At one point, these mofos lit a tennis ball on fire and started playing with it around the living room.

Anyway, here's the RED BAND trailer: 

Violence? Eventually
Explosions? No
Nudity? Fuck and Yes.

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Saved! (2004)

 

When Mary, a devout senior at a Christian high school, accidentally gets pregnant, she starts to see her peers and her faith in a whole new light.

After finding out that her boyfriend thinks he's gay, a young teen decides to do everything in her power to help him. This eventually leads to her sleeping with him, and inadvertently getting pregnant. This obviously changes her outlook on her life and her faith and as she becomes detached from her community they step up their efforts to save her.

With the help of Cassandra Edelstein, the rebel Jewish girl, who is in a Christian school and is totally a rebel, and Macaulay Culkin who is the wheelchair bound brother to the hyper conservative Mandy Moore, she tries to hide her pregnancy until graduation. With two months left, her secret is revealed and things will never be the same.

Stay Quotage:

-You're not born a gay, you're born again.

-Please be cancer, please be cancer, please, be cancer.

-There's only one reason Christian girls come down to the planned parenthood.

- You have to pray on it. Prayer works. It's been medically proven!

Just kidding, Mary has her baby, a happy, healthy lil girl and happy endings reign supreme.

Saved! Is a clever satire played with a wink and a nod to the elements of fundamental Christians, televangelists and life in the bible belt in general. Especially when one's faith has been shaken and they've fallen out with their community. I had been meaning to watch this movie for a whike. Then it just dropped off the radar completely. Although at times it felt like it aimed to beat you over the head with "message" I liked it. You could tell everyone involved was having fun and it showed.

Violence? No
Explosions? Of Christlove!
Nudity? No

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A Lure: Teenage Fight Club (2010)

An undercover female cop enters Belmont High as a transfer student, after several girls in the area go missing. While trying to assimilate in the school, she and her new friends are lured into a place where they must fight for their lives.

There are five things that I feel like pointing out:

1) There's a secret underground fight club where kidnapped teens are forced to fight in life or death battles. A cop is sent in undercover (as a teen) and has to fight for her life to escape.

Actually, that's all you really need to know about the film, but here's some shit I found funny:

1) There were two women on the force. One looked like she could easily fit in with the kids at a high school, the other looked like she belonged on Dawson's Creek. Guess which one they chose?


2) After getting tackled during field hockey (seriously, they put her over a table) The Dawson gets up flips the table and straight up chokes The Rich Bitch, who's all, "use your words! Use your words!" I love a good table flip. The choke was a bonus.


3) At a party, two girls fight. Drunk bitch pushes a girl over a bale of hay and turns away to laugh. Then is surprised when the girl gets up and chokes her. "Ohh so we're just choking people now?"

4) After crashing the first party while looking for Dawson, her undercover bf leaves Drunk Girl and calls it in to his people to shut it down.

5) By the end, one of the girls is stuffed into the trunk of a car. Dawson manages to subdue the driver, and escape as the car right as it starts to careen into a lake. She didn't even try to jump in the water and save the other girl. No one even mentions this going forward.

Bonus:

6) A Lure tries to make up for that last scene with gratuitous titty and then immediately teases a sequel.

There's also this, the pic that got me to watch this crap in the first place:

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Fear Island (2009)

Hillary Duff's not as sexy, not as famous older sister Haylie stars in this quasi-entertaining thriller which doesn't really amount to much. Fear Island is just...okay. But hey, at least someone watched it, right? Right? Ah, fuck you guys!

A Young woman is seen being chased through the woods by the authorities. All of her friends have been killed dead and she is the sole survivor. Questioning her is a disapproving cop who is being quite heavy handed in his pursuit of the truth and a psychiatrist who believes her. As the sole survivor, she's asked to give an account of everyone that was with her, how they died, and how she survived.

That week, she was getting together with a few old friends for the end of the summer. She was headed to a cabin on a remote island, owned by a member of the group. Little things start to happen here and there, but they are easily ignored.After the incidents intensify, they begin to suspect that someone else may be on the island, and when their boat goes missing, they are forced to accept their situation. There is someone on the island that doesn't want them to leave. On top of that, they are leaving messages on the bodies of each victim.

They begin to piece together just who is after them, but it's way too late by then. You already know they failed. You've been listening to the only survivor.


Quote of the film:
A dude gives a chihuahua tequila and when he's called out, says, "Well, he's Mexican. Mexicans love Tequila!"

Violence? Took a while, but we got there.
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Smiley (2012)

After discovering an urban legend of a demented serial killer, who has nothing but a carved 'smiley' on his face, a mentally fragile teen must decide whether she is going insane - or will be the next victim.

Quick Summary: 
There's a group called anonymous, they perform pranks. When a new student registers, they get her to believe in the Urban Legend of Smiley. An internet madman who appears in video chats and kills people after being summoned by typing "I did it for the lulz" 3x straight.
So Anonymous, in this film at least, concocts this huge prank where they not only get her to believe in Smiley, but to take her own life trying to escape him. And then they laugh. Why? "because of the lulz"

Smiley has to be one of the worst movies created in the internet era. It's like some studio dude or "concerned parent" heard about the group Anonymous, the word Troll and the phrase "doing it for the lulz" had a fever dream, and decided to make a propaganda movie based around all three.
Apparently everything done in Smiley was specifically done to fuck with one girl, just cuz trolls be real Yo.

Plus Keith David shows up just to chastise a kid --which is a waste of Keith David-- and worst of all, they decide to kill of the sexy girl with the buttcheeks hanging out of her shorts and didn't even bother to replace her or provide us with some titty in her place! How can you have an internet based movie that includes trolls and hackers and not have porn?


Smiley. Don't do it.

Remember Kids, stay off the Internet

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No. Smh.

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Grizzly Park (2008)

Eight young adults are sent to do community service at Grizzly Park. There, they are hunted by an escaped serial killer along with the animals of the forest.

A group of at risk youth teens are forced to attend a rehabilitation program where they will spend some time in the forests of Grizzly Park, helping to clean it up. Unbeknownst to everyone involved,a dangerous escaped Convict has hijacked their corrections van and taken over the route.

After they reach the forest, the film is pretty straightforward: Youths in trouble, sentenced to pick up trash in the forest for community service. Before they get started, Ranger Rick quickly lays down the foreshadowing and the kids predictably dismiss him. Surprisingly, this includes the part about the ACTUAL, REAL LIFE WILD ANIMALS. Those kids, thinking they know everything, get in over their heads and set themselves up to get slaughtered.

It doesn't take long before the minorities wander off and are left to their own devices. Ranger Rick, sensing a lack of color, takes off to look for them, leaving the kids to the debauchery the movie gods intended. When he finds them mutilated, he realizes that shit has indeed gotten real and heads back to the camp before nature picks off the rest of his group. But the damage has already been done.

Grizzly Park features the horror movie full house: (Asian, negro, white supremacist, prostitute, latina, innocent girl, rich rapist, prankster) and we never even got to find out what the latina did. I demand closure! Dammit!

I've seen. A lot of killer animal movies. A lot. But a giant killer bear? That's a first for me and Grizzly Park crushes it. The bear absolutely massacres these kids and the fun in this film is waiting for them to be killed. They've each worked hard to destroy any possible sympathy you may have had and with that type of diversity (and recklessness), no one is safe.

There was some "unpleasantness" at the end, but if you're like me you're not watching for anything other than the bear and the teens.

Out of Ten? 6

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Wilderness (2006)

The tough teen inmates of a juvenile institution are dropped in a dense forest in a small British island, where they're expected to learn how to work as a team after a fellow prisoners death. But their backwoods rehabilitation hits a snag when they realize they are being hunted and they have to fight for survival.

In a male youth detention center, two kids are relentlessly bullied. After one takes their life, the boys are sent to a remote location known as "the island" to be taught a lesson in team building and compassion. Once on the island, they see signs that they may not be alone and soon find another youth group, this time female.

After a dead hobo is found, the two groups work together to contact the authorities, but when the kids start to disappear and the male leader takes a few arrows to the torso, leaving the island doesn't seem possible. With the adults out of the way, the kids are being hunted and are left in the woods to fend for themselves.

What The Fuck??!!!

Wilderness is long and gets kinda boring fairly quickly. It is surprisingly gory, but that's about all it has going for it. As The kids are picked off one by one, there's no need to look for the who and why, because they've been telling you all along.

Out of Ten? 4.5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Bikini Spring Break (2012)

Franny, Zoe and the girls leave their small-town, conservative college for a national championship competition in Florida, but their rivals are fierce. Will they be able to pull it off despite all the roadblocks in their way?

A school marching band is in the locker room getting ready to march at a game. After a camera is introduced, the girls have their bare boobs plastered all over the jumbotron at the school. Soon they receive the news that they are going to nationals in Florida, during spring break.
On the way to Florida, their bus breaks down and they are told they will need about 3-4k to replace the engine. So then the film launches into a "lets put the girls into sexy situations so that they can make that money" film. (Including jello wrestling.) Eventually their coach catches up to them and he reveals that they have no shot at winning because they aren't going there to perform, they going there to be laughed at, as a result of the jumbotron incident from earlier. The girls decide to go anyway, as making it to nationals has been the point of the film. When they're done there, they decide to head back into town for more jello wrestling.

Bikini Spring Break is as the title suggests, a spring break movie. You already know what to expect, and the film certainly delivers. The only real difference? The girls are in a marching band as opposed to being cheerleaders.

Shhh. Don't debate me on semantics. Here are some pictures:

 Out of Ten? 5

Violence? No
Explosions? No
Nudity? There were tits from the opening credits

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The Faculty (1998)

Many teens think their teachers hail from another planet -- but what if it's true? Herrington High students notice that faculty members aren't quite themselves, and discover an alien infection they might not be able to stop.

The Faculty is actually a pretty good film. I've been trying to breakdown just why this film was successful though when from all accounts, it should have flopped. I realized that it sticks to a simple premise:

US vs Them. A timeless, classic concept. To make it stand out, Robert Rodriguez places it within the context of an Alien Invasion. Look at it this way, teens have always (illogically) battled their authority figures, only now, they have a solid reason for doing so. Their lives are literally at stake.
There's even a scene ripped off from The Thing, where they sit in a circle and try to determine who is infected. I can never be mad at a good homage. Plus "Titbags" is apparently an insult.

Anyway, everyone is in this film. Check out the cast list:

- Salma Hayek (So hot)
- Josh Hartnett (Squinty Mc Squintsalot)
- Clea DuVall (That Girl #1)
- Famke Jensen (Jean Grey)
- Bebe Neuwirth (Frasier's Wife)
- Robert Patrick (T-1000)
- Elijah Wood (Frodo!)
- John Stewart (Fuck Fox News!)
- Jordana Brewster (That Girl #2)
 - Christopher MacDonald (Shooter McGavin!)

Oh, and Usher is the token black guy AND he is acting tough because he's a football player. I want to punch his face. Just knowing that he is responsible for the White Plague (Bieber) is enough. No jury would convict me.

Final Thought(s):

Why oh why, do parasites always have to enter through the ear?

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? A lil bit o' Booty

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Bring It On (2000)

A popular cheerleading squad is exposed as frauds after they are caught ripping off another school's routine. With the big competition approaching, the girls will have to prove they're worth all all of the accolades they've received.
 
Bring it On was The first big cheer/ dance film. Its success led to 5 sequels and almost all of the dance flicks that are out today. Thing is, all of that shit sucks and I hate it for that.

Why I like this film is simple:

Cheerleaders
Short skirts/shorts
Eliza Dushku
Gabrielle Union
Spirit Fingers!!!

For what it's worth, I enjoyed this film. Mainly because of the above, but also because they showed the amount of work that goes into their training and routines. Plus, I cannot deny the high, high comedy that is...Spirit Fingers:

Anyway, the original Bring It On is worth checking out if you're trying to find a film you can sit through with your lady or anyone that likes dance. Either way, you get to see Gabrielle Union and Eliza Dushku shake their asses.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? No
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)

Axe-wielding Angela returns for more gore in this third installment, which finds the crazed killer chopping up participants at a retreat that brings together rich and poor teens. Posing as a camper, Angela joins the culturally diverse group -- but as expected, the camp's feel-good philosophy escapes her. She soon goes about offing her fellow campers, an exercise she finds much more enjoyable than bonding with them.

Apparently Angela really loves to camp and a year after last year's events, Angela is back at Camp New Horizons after quickly killing and impersonating one of the newer campers.
This years camp intends to promote harmony and unity amongst both the rich and poor kids who are attending and one of the camp counselors is not only a cop, but the father of one of the boys killed in the second film. He was also the officer who arrested her at the end of the first. He doesn't recognize her because as he so helpfully explains, although her exploits have become mythological amongst the camping community, no one has any idea what she looks like and her juvenile records were destroyed after she turned 18. He also admits that he'd kill her if he ever met her.

Angela racks up her second kill as soon as she gets to camp, and by the time it takes to read this sentence, she's already killed three more campers while musing, "Why did I think this year would be any different?" (I laughed) Eventually she runs afoul of counselor cop and being cornered by him she reveals herself, and after he's named all the ways she's previously killed, he asks, "what's next?" And the answer is simply, "a gun," then she shoots him dead. (I laughed again.)

 After playing a game with the last three campers, she attempts to do something nice and leaves one untouched while she flees the camp. She is arrested after a short struggle in which the camper manages to stab her a few times. In an ambulance, Angela manages to kill her way out and open the door for the fourth sequel we've all been begging for.

Sleepaway Camp 3 is for obvious reasons the third film in the Sleepaway Camp film series. This film, like it's predecessors, is also a cult favorite. A key factor in this film is it's dark humor. It knows what it is and what you want and it doesn't take itself that seriously. In fact, it takes itself less seriously than its Sleepaway Camp II, but I think therein lies the problem. It has exhausted all of it's mojo and without starting fresh, I think this series has gone on as far as it possibly can. Or maybe not. Jason, Freddy and Michael were all one note characters who lasted many films. But there's just something about these films that just doesn't seem to resonate as well. *shrugs, sips beer with raised pinky*

 My favorite exchange comes from this token: 

 What's your favorite movie? "Well, I like ones with tits and blood." Hmm. Yes. Irony. 

There's a new kill to add to the list as one of the campers is blindfolded, hoisted up a flagpole and then just dropped. Amazing.

The soundtrack continues to be amazing and overall, Teenage Wasteland is not as put together as Unhappy Campers(part two) but still serviceable as a sequel.


Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes. Oh hell yes.

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Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)

Five years after a series of horrifying murders left Camp Arawak looking like Armageddon, the killer returns to the scene of the crime to work as a camp counselor. But since Angela Baker looks like a normal, everyday 20-something, only she knows what she's truly capable of.

After the events of the first film, Angela manages to return to the camp some 10 years later as something like a misguided morality counselor, except completely insane. All she wants is for her campers to be happy and have fun. That's not too much to ask for, why is that so hard? Why are teenagers so difficult?!!!

During the opening scene, the events is the first film are rehashed through tales told over a campfire. And after disposing of her first camper for being disrespectful everything is smiles and sunshine, until the next few cross her path. Her cover story is that she has been sending the unruly students home. After a while, a few of the remaining campers start to piece together what's happening. Things start to spiral out of control for Angela as the body count rises and they get closer to the truth.

Sleepaway Camp features 2 some of the most non-sex sex ever filmed and the dialogue and killed kills are both comical but not over the top. The one exception being, the unfortunate camper who was drowned in an outhouse. (Thats just wrong,) Sleepaway Camp Two is one of the best B-movies. Ever. I don't understand why I waited so long to watch this movie. It's really a work of art.
There's also a staged battle between movie monsters and a classic scene of one upsmanship as two kids show up as Freddy and Jason intending to scare Angela. She shows up dressed as Leatherface and quickly gets chainsawing. One dude is impaled with his own Freddy claws.
The movie is almost worth it for that scene alone.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes. Straight-up Titty Son!

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Todd and the Book of Pure Evil (2010) [TV Series]

A book of awesome power -- one that will make your deepest, darkest desires come true but at a horrifying cost -- is loose in Crowley High. Thankfully, four teenagers stand between The Book of Pure Evil and the end of the world as we know it.

Todd and the Book of Pure Evil is a Canadian horror comedy that was only allowed two years of awesomeness before it was shut down by the Canadian Government. At it's core, TatBoPE was about a high school slacker stoner who discovers that he is the "pure evil one," a being destined to bring about a new age of death and destruction. Todd decides that he ain't about that life and rejects the book. However, the book has the power to grant anyone's desires and usually anyone that uses it meets a grisly fate. With the help of his friends, he has to track it down before it gets into the hands of his nemesis Atticus Murphy Jr., the school counselor/secret Satanist who intends to use to book for his own evil deeds.

I've read that paragraph maybe six or seven times trying to improve it. Don't let that description fool you, Hands down, TATBOPE is one of the best tv shows ever made and just about guaranteed to be the one show that can only be enjoyed by me...and maybe a few folks in Canada. Everything about this show is amazing. The story, the monsters, the music, and most importantly there's blood, guts and swearing. Aside from Metalocalypse, there's no show like it and it's relatively uncensored for the most part.

They've even saw fit to bless us with some choice swears:

Shit Rooster (my personal favorite)
JizzMagician - (because you make jizz disappear.)
Cock Holster (known, but still comical)
Cock Lamp
Ass Taxi

Todd and the Book of Pure Evil has got to be one of the best shows I've ever seen and I completely understand why it was not renewed. There's no way a show this awesome could last on television and there's no way to censor it that wouldn't completely ruin it. At least it had two seasons and a proper ending.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Only in Monster Form

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Piranha aka Piranha 3D (2010)

When an earthquake tears open the bottom of Lake Havasu, schools of carnivorous piranhas are released from their underwater lair, and the lake turns into a bloody, frenzied death trap for unwitting water-goers.

Spring Break in Arizona is threatened when a large school of Piranhas are unleashed after an earthquake. These particular piranhas are prehistoric and long thought extinct, yet the earthquake has apparently released them from their resting place and they appear to be headed right towards the party.

On a dive to the site of the seismic activity, a cavern containing many many piranha eggs are found. Once the search team is massacred, the threat becomes readily apparent to the sheriff, who has to now find a way to eliminate them.

Jerry O'Connell is the host of "Wild, Wild Girls," a girls gone wild type of video shoot that is responsible for the bulk of the titty. 

It doesn't take long before the first body is found, but the feeding frenzy doesn't begin until about 40 minutes left in the film. However, the wait is worth it and in the meanwhile, we're treated to tension building scenes, "Wild, Wild Girls" shoots and Spring Break with all the debauchery that entails.
Piranha is your typical, "drunken college kid orgy gets broken up by killer animal" film, which are good for blood, titty and death scenes. Having a bigger budget, we are treated to 3D, and piranha vision. That's about the extent of what this film adds to the genre. Yet it is still surprisingly enjoyable.

Adam Scott as an action hero?
Fish being tazed?
Piranhas coming out of people's mouths?
All of this plus titty?

Get the popcorn...and the beer.

 Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Yes

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Thankskilling (2009)

Thankskilling is a short and to the point drinking game movie. You know what, fuck that. This is the type of bad movie that you sit watch and drink with good friends and rebel in it's ridiculousness. In this cult classic and awesomely bad movie, a demonic turkey comes to life and kills motherfuckers dead.

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Detention (2011)

Detention is a teenage horror movie involving teenagers and targeting teens while being broad enough to appeal to the genre savvy viewer. The plot is fairly simple, a killer dressed as a character from a movie is out to kill the teens of a high school. Yet as the movie rolls on, it becomes clear that it doesn't exactly follow the established conventions, or at least not in that predetermined way. Detention is like a pastiche of genres. A teen romance comedy, horror, scifi, drama mix that is also a parody, of the aforementioned genres while deconstructing them in the process.Admittedly, all of that is a lot and the film ends up in a few weird places, but despite everything, it still ends up being a surprisingly decent film.

The trailer doesn't do it justice, but it makes the review seem longer:

Final word:

Yes Dane Cook was in this film, and even though his role was minimal, it didn't take away from the fact that Dane Cook blows. I won't be invoking Rule #1 anytime soon.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Yes

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Sorority House Massacre (1986)

Beth, a girl with a mysterious past, moves in with her new sorority. Due to a memory block, she doesn't remember that the sorority house was her childhood home. Her brother senses her presence in the house and attempts to reconnect. Violently.

A group of sorority girls are left to themselves for a weekend after the den mother goes off to travel. so they do what all unsupervised teens do, invite guys and have a party. When the guys show up, they reveal the myth behind the history of the house. It is treated like an urban legend, of course, but we all know what's going to happen.

For the past week, one of the girls, Beth, has been experiencing hallucinations and sees a man wielding a knife stalking her. As the days go on, her dreams become more intense. It is soon revealed that the man is real, has some type of mental connection to her and after he breaks free from the institution, he heads straight for her, with the intent to kill.

When all is said and done, we learn of a connection between the house, the killer and one of the girls...But not before the massacre.

Hmmm...A big ass knife + no minorities. Makes you wonder who gets killed first?

Sorority House Massacre is actually pretty dull. Not too much happens in this film until the end as there's a lot of exposition and setup. It's also quite confusing. (In terms of their actions). Dude is a beast when he starts the killing though, but almost all of that was negated by a girl who literally could not swing a shovel to save her life.

Skip it.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Kill Katie Malone (2010)

College students and best friends Ginger Matheson, Jim Duncan, and Kyle "Dixie" Canning, pool their cash to buy a "ghost" in an online auction. The three think it's all a goof, but once they open up the antique box to examine their "treasure," they unleash the vengeful spirit of an Irish servant girl who has been wreaking havoc on her owners throughout the generations.

Dean Cain opens this film by watching his wife being killed by some malevolent force. About a year later, a mysterious box appears online for sale. The listing claims it contains a ghost. Intrigued, the box is purchased by three college bffs. Opening the box, they and finds it contains the spirit of an abused and unwanted ghost who kills anyone that comes between her family. Once you own the box, you are her family.

They spend the rest of the movie trying to contract the seller and trying to break the curse.
Of course the curse isn't broken before the negro friend eats it, but that's the nature of these films.

Ah well. I Thought he'd be light enough to survive.

Out Of Ten? 5.5

Violence? Ghost on human violence.
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

What happens when a fast-food chicken franchise is built on a sacred Native American burial site rife with restless spirits? Zombie chickens! Now it's up to high school grad Arbie, to find a way to destroy the featherless fiends.

Movies open with teens banging in an Indian burial ground. Wendy promises Arbie that college will never change her. A year later, he returns to the make out spot only to find that it has since been bulldozed and an American Chicken Bunker has been built on top. A large group of people are protesting the restaurant, upset with the treatment of both the burial ground and the chickens that go into their product.

At the protest, not only does Arbie reconnect with Wendy, he discovers that she is also a lesbian. Out of spite, he gets a job at the restaurant looking for revenge. Once there, he discovers that the Indians and the chickens are seeking revenge as well and the tainted chicken manages to turn people into chicken zombies.


Poultrygeist is a Low budget Tromaville horror/comedy/ musical. I would say it's mildly offensive, but that would be generous. I think you'd have to search to find the line this film didn't cross yet I found it surprisingly funny. Even the musical numbers hit the comedy notes.
Tromaville movies are not for everyone, but Poultrygeist kinda works. It does drag towards the end, but it's decent good before it gets to that point.


Stray Quotage:

-You're the best dry humper I'm the school
    Yeah, that's what the basketball team says.

-you're the counter girl.
     Counter girl?
-Just a little nickname we have here.
     Oh okay.
-Cool. I'll get your skirt.

-How can I ever love someone who wants me to eat cock?!

-Would you stick around if you shit up a bathroom this bad?!

-There hasn't been such a dangerous combination of chicken and Indian since the creation of Tandoori.



I am a fan of originality, and of all the zombie films, chicken zombies are definitely original.

 

Out of Ten? 6.5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Yes

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