The Venture Bros. - 2003 (TV Series)

The warped misadventures of a former boy genius turned washed-up, middle-aged mad scientist Dr. Rusty Venture; his moronic teenage sons; their maniac bodyguard; and the Doctor's arch-nemeses, incompetent super villain The Monarch and his masculine paramour, Dr. Girlfriend.

The Venture Bros. is one of the best shows you aren't watching and/or haven't seen.

What if we followed Johnny Quest from boy adventurer to grown man? What if he was a miserable failure who could not live up to his father's legacy? That's the basic premise behind this series. Here's a fun fact, he's actually a minor character within the show.

We are currently up to season 5. That means you have some catching up to do.

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The Crazies - 2010

Uh oh. A remake of a George Romero film. This can't be bad can it? We're batting .500 so far...(Dawn of the Dead)

As a toxin begins to turn the residents of Ogden Marsh, Iowa into violent psychopaths, sheriff David Dutton tries to make sense of the situation while he, his wife, and two other unaffected townspeople band together in a fight for survival.

As I said before, this is a remake of The Crazies brought to you by the very Romero in [year]. Can this movie stand on its own, absolutely. Is it really any good? Well yes and no. The cast and characters are well done.
Timothy Elephant (Oliphant) as a cop always works and everyone else fills in their roles equally. The only real issues that I noticed were the writing and direction. I still don't know where they were going with this movie and what were they trying to do? But you know what? When shit got real, I did not care for any of that. I suspect you won't either.

The movie just has this "decent B-Movie" feel, and you may walk away thinking, about how much better it could have been with a better story.

Out of Ten? 6

My advice: Watch it in B-Movie mode, watch for kills, watch for the military, but please, please, don't watch because you expect it to be "good."


Violence? Those motherfuckers are crazy.
Explosions? Maybe, not that crazy...or are they?
Nudity? Well, let's not get too crazy here...

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Coopers' Christmas (2008)

Using a professional grade video camera, a dysfunctional family records their Christmas Day in 1985, which descends into total chaos.

The Daily Show's Jason Jones and Samantha Bee star in this found footage style low budget christmas comedy.

This movie has all the embarrassing xmas moments and it is set in 1985 which adds to the ridiculous of the flick. Awkward boners, pop culture flubs, vulgar moments. There's even cranky old people. And maybe because I watched it late at night, the funny was enhanced, but this was another flick that I found funnier than I expected.

Stay quotes:
-On a scale of 1-10, how drunk are you? Um...C-minus?
-Can Heather come? I want Heather to come. Well then, you gotta use your fingers, kid.

Classic.

Out of 10? Solid 6.5
Maybe I was in the Christmas spirit when I saw this, or maybe it just wasn't a bad movie.

Violence? Typical family reunion holiday violence
Explosions? Nope
Nudity? Nope
Blu-Ray/DVD?  Dvd if you must. I don't think I'd buy it, but I wouldn't be upset if I saw it in someone's collection.

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Triangle - 2009

The story revolves around the passengers of a yachting trip in the Atlantic Ocean who, when struck by mysterious weather conditions, jump to another ship only to experience greater havoc on the open seas.

Spoiler Alert: Cute Chick/Stupid Hat = Instant Death.

Shit happens fairly quickly in Triangle. A seemingly distraught Jennie, boards a yacht with some friends intending to get some peace of mind. The ship runs into a storm at sea and capsizes. After the storm subsides, the survivors find each other and suddenly a ghost ship appears. They board the ship, thinking it salvation.

As the group wanders through the ship, Jennie finds her keys and sees another person. They soon discover that no one is aboard the ship except a killer who is quickly picking them off.

...And That's when the movie starts to pick up. Seriously.

Watch the trailer. I know it doesn't do the film justice, but trust me when I tell you that this film is crazy:

Not, only does Triangle get better as it goes along, this has to be the only movie in existence where the old, "no more bullets, throw the gun" is used and actually fucking works.

I was going to go for a 6.5, but I'm bumping it to a solid 7. Everything comes full circle and Triangle pulls this off pretty well. Plus they threw a gun. It always brings me joy to see that.

This movie blew my mind a bit. Just a lil. But that's how daddy likes it. 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Reno 911: Miami - 2007

 The cast of the hit TV series takes it to its next logical conclusion...a movie. (via)

Plot (via):

A rag-tag team of Reno cops are called in to save the day after a terrorist attack disrupts a national police convention in Miami Beach during spring break. Based on the Comedy Central series.

...And you better believe they save the motherfucking day.

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Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - 2011

Tucker & Dale are on vacation at their dilapidated mountain cabin when they are attacked by a group of preppy college kids.

Tucker and dale are your typical bffs. They hunt and fish and drink beer together. on their way to their newly purchased summer cabin in the woods, they run into a group of teens on their way to their own summer fun. After a few awkward interactions, the teens believe them to be creepy murderous hillbillies and basically kill themselves while trying to kill Tucker and Dale. In the meanwhile, Tucker and Dale believe that these kids are part of a suicide cult and they spend the movie trying to escape them.


I saw the red band trailer for this movie, and I got really into it. It looked damn funny. Then I heard nothing else about it. No release date, no tv trailers, nothing. I subsequently forgot about it until one day I came across it when randomly walking past a movie theater and saw it playing.

Redband for your viewing pleasure:

Let me tell you something, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil was well worth it's ticket price. It is, in my opinion one of the most underrated horror comedies and one of the better movies released in 2011. It's very rare that a movie trailer gets me excited and the movie ACTUALLY delivers all that it promised.

Violence? Does a cow have tits?
Explosions? Two...maybe
Nudity? For a horror movie, it's sorely lacking in this department. But you won't mind and you probably won't even notice.

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Thor and Loki: Blood Brothers - 2011

Thor & Loki: Blood Brothers is a four episode motion comic from Marvel Knights Animation. It is based on the 2004 miniseries Loki by Robert Rodi and Esad Ribic.

This series exists to fill in the back story and give us the history between Thor and his brother Loki as told from Loki's point of view. This movie supposes that Thor was  kind of an arrogant dick and Loki was basically a bullied kid, who rose to power and is blatantly abusing it and getting in over his head.

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La Soga - 2009

A cop works against his country's corrupt government in order to find justice on a case.

La soga is a tale of a Dominican mercenary who is secretly contracted by the police force yet operates outside of the law. As a child, he witness a drug dealer kill his father. Since being recruited by the Police General, his sole purpose is to kill drug criminals who have been deported back to DR. You'll learn that his father was killed by a drug dealer and that is what set him on this path. He waits for the deportation of that same criminal who is now in NYC so that he can finally have his vengeance. To clarify, he doesn't just hunt criminals, there is (of course) a procedure. If you fuck up in the states and get deported, just pay the gov't a protection fee and you're cool. If/when you don't pay, you get to meet...La Soga.

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The Crazies Motion Comic

The Crazies Motion Comic is something like a 4 part animated "prequel of sorts. Basically it is just a short stodgy anthology of people going crazy or rather the stories behind how they got as crazy as they were by the time you saw them in the film.

The final episode is a 15 min bloody gory free for all. Starts with a few citizens facing down the military. They then take down the infected, becoming infected themselves. They then take down the military, other infected and everyone else in their way.


Here's the trailer. I figure that if I had seen this earlier, I probably would have skipped this comic:

Maybe it its because I saw it so long after the film, but I kind of feel like this was a waste of my time. The Crazies Motion Comic is as violent and gory as the film and that's a good thing. But I don't feel like anything necessary was added. Do we need to know the stories of the infected? I've said it before and I'll say it again, not everything needs a back-story.

Out of ten? 4. 

If you're a true fan of the film you'd like this. Personally, I'm not. I saw this as an option, figured I was obligated since I saw the film.

Violence? Galore
Explosions? No
Nudity? No
Blu-ray/DVD? Neither. I wouldn't waste anymore time on this nonsense.

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Aah zombies - 2007

Turning the zombie film on its head, this film is an oddball comedy from the perspective of the brain munching monsters themselves.

As is customary in these films, the gov't is responsible for the zombie outbreak, (of course) but the events in this film, in a twist, are told from the zombies' P.O.V.

After unknowingly ingesting toxic waste from a failed gov't super soldier formula, a group of four friends become zombified. The fun is in the fact that they have no idea what's happened. They try to make their way through the world and eventually form a colony with others.

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Man vs. Food - (2008 TV Series)

In Man vs. Food, we follow the Travel Channel's Adam Richmond as he travels from town to town, city to city and takes on their food challenges.

Confession: I dig this show. I haven't watched it as much as I used to, but I still watch whenever I come across it. Every challenge is different, and its eye opening when you consider how many different restaurants offer these type of challenges.

Examples include:
-A bucket of 50BBQ wings.
-A 16oz burrito
-4 16oz milkshakes
-A bowl of the hottest curry
-1 giant burger that was actually made up of 6 patties + fries

And nearly every challenge comes with both a time limit and a wall of shame for the losers.

Adam Richmond is a fat man and he does what fat men do. Eat. This show is awesome for that reason alone. There is a variety of food challenges presented to him and he is more than willing to tackle them. As a bonus, watching this show gives you an idea of where to go and what to eat if you should ever travel to these
places.

 

Mmm...Sweet Gluttony Goodness

Man Vs. Food airs on the Travel Channel. You can also find it on Netflix Instant Watch.
Man vs Food. Watch. Eat. Live.

Violence? Only in the way he assaults his food.
Explosions? Probably plenty after filming.
Nudity? Naked burgers perhaps.

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Drive - 2011

A Hollywood stunt performer who moonlights as a wheelman discovers that a contract has been put on him after a heist gone wrong. - IMDB

Before watching this, whenever I saw Ryan Gosling, I only thought of soft things, like pillows and stuffed bears n such. After watching drive, I'm digging the new tough guy persona. I won't be thinking of him as soft for quite some time.

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The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (2010) [TV Series]

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, follows the American bloke Todd Margaret (Cross), a compulsive liar lacking any sense of good judgment who finds himself in London heading up the sales office of a new energy drink, Thunder Muscle.

Arrested Development alum David Cross, stars as Todd Margaret, a man who means well yet is in way over his head as a fish out of water American in England. I've been hearing good things about this show, but I've blatantly dismissed it, partially based on it's ridiculously long title. However, after watching the first season, I can say that this fucking show is hilarious and I've been caught out there sleeping.

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Insidious - 2010

A family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further.

One night, A little boy is slips into a coma and his parents scramble to figure out the cause. In the meanwhile, strange things are occurring around the boy and his family.

I don't want to talk too much about this film becuase I don't want to ruin it for those who haven't yet seen it, but I can say that Insidious boasts a genuinely creepy atmosphere. From start to finish, the movie had this creepy vibe that increased the scare factor. Unfortunately for as good as it was, the movie started to fall apart during the second and third acts. Once they revealed what exactly happened to the boy, I could feel the movie struggling to keep itself together. To it's credit, it did. But barely.

This demon was no joke.

This movie fucks with you. It is good but starts to falls apart towards the end. Luckily the movie ends before it could fuck itself up. Idk if it holds up to multiple viewings and I'm not really trying to find out.

Violence? No
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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The Devil Inside - 2012

In Italy, a woman becomes involved in a series of unauthorized exorcisms during her mission to discover what happened to her mother, who allegedly murdered three people during her own exorcism.

Sigh. What should have been a decent exorcism movie becomes "Touch 2012" and promptly falls apart. I went in there thinking that this would be somewhat like the other films of this genre but I left thinking that it is Hollywood, specifically the folks involved in this film that need an exorcism.

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Eye Candy Actresses - Addendum

What started as a list of spillovers in 2010, became a full list in 2012 as the names piled up. 

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The Darwin Awards - 2006

 (Disregard this lame poster, the movie is actually pretty good.)

A forensic detective and an insurance investigator trek to investigate a potential Darwin Award winner. From www.darwinawards.com: "Honoring those who improve the species...by accidentally removing themselves from it!" - via (IMDB)

Based on the real life stories of the people featured on the Darwin Awards website.

This movie is one of the few hidden gems currently available on Netflix. It was actually funnier than I thought it would be, plus Wynona Ryder is co-starring. Hello?...Umm, Yeah.

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Lunopolis - 2011

In a classic sci-fi thriller setup, two independent filmmakers uncover a powerful secret organization controlled by aliens living on the moon. With Earth's future at stake, the pair gathers proof of government ties to the extraterrestrial conspiracy.

Lunopolis is one of those, "Some people filmed something and disappeared but the footage remains, so let's watch it and see what happened" movies. I thought the movie overall was decent, but could have been done better.

The movie had an interesting premise. At it's heart it was a religious conspiracy thriller involving the Moon. Unfortunately, the execution was flawed. For every moment the movie reeled me in, there was some unnecessary distraction added, such as a main character suddenly pulling a gun and becoming a badass filmmaker. It just seemed way out of place.

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Archer (2009)[TV Series]

Set at the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS) in New York City, suave but incredibly self-centered master spy Sterling Archer deals with global espionage; his domineering, hypersexual mother/boss, Malory Archer; his ex-girlfriend (and fellow ISIS agent), Lana Kane; her ISIS accountant boyfriend (later ex) Cyril Figgis; and a less-than-masculine code name, "Duchess". - Wikipedia 

H. Jon Benjamin has got to be one of the funniest and hardworking people in the business. Dude only has one voice and yet each character that he plays is incredibly different. His work as Sterling Archer in this series is fantastic and only matched by the work of his castmates. The lovely Alicia Tyler co-stars as Lana and their chemistry anchors the cast.

I think they see success...

For those who haven't yet seen the show, I've found a clip some of the funniest bits of the series.

Archer is hands down one of the best shows that you aren't watching.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Yes.
Blu-Ray/DVD? LAAAANNNAAAAA!!!!
Blu-Ray offers a lot more in the way of extras. Plus, why wouldn't you want this series in Hi-Def.

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Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

(Teaser-Trailer.com)

"A Marine Staff Sergeant who has just had his retirement approved goes back into the line of duty in order to assist a 2nd Lieutenant and his platoon as they fight to reclaim the city of Los Angeles from alien invaders." - IMDB

There are very few movies that have made me audibly upset in the theater. Words cannot describe what a streaming pile of dung this movie was and my only solace was that I didn't buy the tickets.

If you haven't seen it by now, It is your basic aliens invasion vs the human force movie. Standard fare. Michelle Rodriguez is in it, but she's in every standard "tough female" role these days so, take that how you will. 

So why do I hate this film? Simply put, the writing and plot structure were terrible. One such scene that highlights both is below.

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Manly Cinema

The movie landscape has changed. No longer do we have the macho man shooting and kung-fuing people, sexing women and swearing like a sailor the whole time. We get movies about Kung-Fu Pandas, and pussified heroes, shitty versions of Bond and a general "family friendly" atmosphere. I'm not against a family atmosphere, movies can be broad and all encompassing. But the "protect the children" line  and the "let's not be offensive to anyone" is being used to wipe out all traces of our former masculinity.

Everything offends somebody. When does protecting children mean we should shun the action hero who kills the bad guys and sexes the ladies? Its really been few and far between for 1 man army movies (Taken, Rambo, Predator, Black Dynamite)

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Dawn of a New Era

Guess who's back! (via)

So, I took a year long hiatus. I didn't think anyone cared. I didn't even think I cared anymore. But I was inspired by one of my dudes. He told me about his site and there's nothing but pure comedy over there.

I had just about forgotten this site even existed. I showed him a preview of this site, and as I was comparing, we had a small discussion regarding movies and actors/actresses. It was about that time that I realized that:

1) I missed the debating
2) I missed posting
3) I need to step my game up. His blog is kicking my ass.

So now I'm back and for the foreseeable future, there will be updates.

Shout Outs to the kid @ Let's Talk About It!
Check out his page. Follow it. There's a lot of good stuff over there.

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