Justified

 Definitely one of he best shows you are not watching.

Justified stars Deadwood's Timothy (Elephant) Olyphant as Raylan Givens, a throwback federal marshall who's been transplanted to his home state of Kentucky after shooting a man in a standoff in Miami.

I have nothing more to add because talking about it is not the same as watching it. Bottom line, the show is awesome. If you like bad ass lawmen and tight detective work, this show is for you.

That hat and that sneer mean business.

Quotes and the summary after the jump.

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[REC] & [REC 2]

posters via(Impawards)

Fucking fantastic movies. Doesn't matter how you see this flick, find some way.

I'm assuming most of you have already seen pt. 1, but if you haven't here is the synopsis(courtesy of IMDB):

"The film follows a Spanish late-night television reporter, Ángela Vidal, through the lens of her cameraman, Pablo. During one report of the happenings in a local fire station in Barcelona, the duo follow a team of firefighters who get a call from an apartment building nearby about a trapped woman. When they arrive, they find the apartment's residents huddled in the lobby. They go upstairs to find a woman who is obviously distressed. What follows is a night that none of them will ever forget. Written by Adam Roeger - New Berlin, Wisconsin"

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The Slammin' Salmon (2009)

The owner of a Miami restaurant indebted to the mob institutes a contest to see what waiter can earn the most money in one night. 

Broken lizards' special brand of comedy is not for everyone and this movie is not the worst, but its certainly not the best either. If anything, its on the funny side of mediocre. Some of the jokes fall flat, but if you're used to Broken Lizards' humor, you'll enjoy yourself. Also, I won't say Michael Clarke Duncan carried the movie, but he did steal every scene that he was in. The rest of the the Broken Lizards gang did their thing and the movie works out as perfect lazy Sunday viewing.

Things to note:

-Michael Clarke Duncan finally returns to the screen after a long hiatus and he fucking nails his role as a former boxer/intimidating boss of a seafood restaurant.
-Look out for former Heroes' Superbug Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy) and Current G4 "It Girl" Olivia Munn as a sexy young couple dining in the restaurant.

Violence? Mild, but played effectively for laughs
Explosions? Nope. The movie takes place in a restaurant.
Nudity? Nope. But there is a bra and panties scene.

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Links - 4/28/10

Iron Man 2 Easter Egg (Hint: Its Thor's Hammer.) - I Heart Chaos
*sigh* There's a Magic 8 Ball movie - Cinematical
Scream 4. *Hooray* - UHM

While we're here, a few thoughts:

-Why The Fuck, do we need a Magic 8 Ball movie. Hollywood is clearly out of ideas.

-I'm not too sure about Iron Man 2. The trailers look good, but I think the packs too much. I'm worried about it becoming another Spider Man 3. Minus the Emo dancing. We'll see I guess, but I'm definitely on the fence.

-Scream 4? Really? Why not just re-make it? Has it not been 10years?

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Speak on it! - Horror movies not in October

Nightmare on Elm Street sucks. Not because its another remake. I think it sucks because it doesn't have the balls to come out in October when movies like this should be released. Why the fuck is every studio so scared of releasing near Saw? Saw VII is going to be filmed in 3D. Also this year, we'll see a return of Cary "I sawed my leg off at the end of the 1st movie" Elwes. Whoopty-fuckin-doo. Hey Hollywood, Saw has been out for close to 8 years now and each year it has seen a slight drop off in ticket sales. I'm aware that 3D is a dick that you've all jumped on and are riding to orgasm in the form of profits, but look here, its a gimmick that you use to "ensure a profitable film." With that logic, you're probably thinking, Saw in 3D will be unbeatable.

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Food Wars

One of the best shows you're not watching? Maybe not. But Food Wars is pretty entertaining and Camile Ford is not only hot she's actually kind of entertaining.

The Food Wars are often fought between neighboring restaurants who just happen to serve the the same specialty food and they both claim to have the best version. More often than not, these rivalries are the result of family disputes. In the Chicago Pizza battle, 2 brothers made Jumbo Slices of pizza, 1 changed the recipe against the others wishes and opened his own spot, and thus a food rivalry was born.

Again, its not the best show, and its still admittedly finding its legs, but if you're a foodie or if you like to travel, this show will definitely give you a few ideas on where to go and what to eat.

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Shutter Island

This move was not only long, it was not as clever as it thinks it is or tries to be. I figured the movie out after the first 30mins. The rest of the 2 hrs were spent trying to stay awake.

Its a decent flick but any time you have two heavyweights like DiCaprio and Kingsely going head to head one expects better. Especially when Scorcese is directing them. Don't misunderstand, the acting is top-notch but the story is not as cohesive and it doesn't gel as well as it should. It definitely doesn't grip you. Scorcese is known for dragging out his films, but a bit more time in the editing room couldn't have hurt.

Violence? Mild
Nudity? *sigh* Not only do you sit through 2hrs, they "reward" you with sweet Man nudity.
Explosions? There was one but I cringed when they exploded such a sweet ride.

If you're in the mood for an okay movie that runs a bit too long, I say watch. Otherwise, pass. You're not missing anything.

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The Dark Knight

I was sitting in the theaters watching this flick, when it suddenly hit me. "I did not like Batman Begins, why the fuck did I pay for this? Oh, yeah, the Joker. That's why."

Everyone says to me, "Flicks, how could you not like this movie?" Well its simple, the movie sucked. The Joker was supposed to be "chaos incarnate," according to Nolan. Thing is, he became the focal point of the movie. If you can actually look past him, you would see that you don't care about Batman or his story and that is bad business. The movie was titled, The Dark Knight, not The Joker and I don't even think Batman got equal screen time. If and when he did get screen time, he spoke in that ridiculous "I just ate gravel and washed it down with some asphalt" voice which totally did not help endear him to me at all. Also, at the beginning of the fucking movie, he bent the barrel of a henchman's rifle bare-fucking-handed! And let us not forget that ridiculous scene with the "Bat-Cycle/Bat Pod" pulling trucks and doing standing 360s.


This movie sucked and Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker actually cemented that fact for me. His death, which wasn't exactly tragic, was probably the best thing to happen for WB and the franchise going forward. People flocked to theaters to see his "final performance" and the movie eventually coasted to where it sits now. Please don't misunderstand, his performance as The Joker was dynamite, I thoroughly enjoyed him in that role, the problem was that not only did he steal the spotlight, he made Batman look even worse. Was there a need for Batman to eat a pack of gravel every time he put the on the mask? I'm surprised he wasn't subtitled. At first, I couldn't understand why Christopher Nolan would actually allow him to be portrayed in such a way, but then The Joker took care of that. I can only imagine the production meeting:

Staff: Um, shouldn't we do something about Batman's voice? Nolan: (counting money) Don't worry about it, when they see The Joker, they won't be worried about Batman. Staff: But sir- Nolan: Are you directing now? 'Cause I thought that was my job. Why don't you go check the suit for nipples or something.


And so it came to pass. The Joker character and Heath's performance actually damaged the franchise more than it helped and no future Batman movie will top the debacle that was The Dark Knight.

*sigh*

Violence? About as much as one can pack into a PG-13 movie
Explosions? Yes. Lots
Nudity? Nope

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Jekyll (BBC Series)

Quite possibly one of the best miniseries to come over from "across the pond." Jekyll, is a retelling of the classic Robert Louis Stevenson story of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde.

From the 1st 5 minutes of the very first episode, the series grabs you and you'll instantly want to know, who is Hyde and is he as bad as they say? (Yes. The answer to both is yes.)

Of course, there is a shadowy organization who knows about Hyde and (as part of the secret Gov't organization contract) they must capture, dissect and figure out a way to use him as a weapon for the "good of all mankind." Blah blah blah, all standard stuff, and while their appearance does drag the show a bit, their scenes with Hyde allows us to get more much needed face time with the monster.

Violence? Lots. Hyde is a one-man wrecking crew
Explosions? Nope. But you won't even notice.
Nudity? Nope. But you won't even notice.

If you have never seen it, and you're open to the programs of the BBC, I recommend you take a look.

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Links - 4/27/10

 

Terrible A movie, Bad B movie, or another shitty Nic Cage flick?

Fuck Yeah! Ghost Rider 2 may not have Nic Cage! - Cinematical
Bad Movie Alert! Mansquito? Its like "The Fly" but with Mosquitoes - Bloody Disgusting
Trailer - Resident Evil Afterlife 3D - Upcoming Horror Movies
Tyler Perry Does Hitchcock - Filmdrunk

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AVATAR - (BluRay)

Image via (Covershut.com)

What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said?

I'll try this: Avatar is a completely overblown spectacle that takes itself way too seriously. The graphics, the art, the CG, all beautiful, but overall and especially in terms of story structure and plot, this movie sucks.

On BluRay, this movie is visually spectacular and I can only imagine how it looked in 3D, but once you strip the graphics from the movie, you have nothing. James Cameron's goal was to create beautiful images with the specific intent to sell a story, and that is never more apparent that when you look past the images and actually watch the movie. I'm pretty sure that's how he sold the concept to movie execs: "I'm James Cameron. I'm going to create a whole new viewing experience. You think I give a Fuck about a story? My images will sell this story." (Truthfully, I think he did the same thing with Titanic and The Abyss, and by the end of those flicks, I was rooting for the Iceberg and the Aliens respectively.)

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First Post

Welcome to the site. I have seen a lot of movies, old and new and I have no idea where to begin. I'm probably getting in over my head here, but if this doesn't work, I'll just add it to the pile of things I've failed at so far in life.

Well, Let's get started.

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