Knights of Badassdom (2013)

 

Live-action role players conjure up a demon from Hell by mistake and they must deal with the consequences.

Knights of Badassdom is a dope ass horror comedy hybrid based around the concept of Live Action Role Playing and while the title is clunky as fuck, the film is put together well (and the soundtrack is fucking fantastic.) You can tell that everyone actually enjoyed themselves while making the film and that showed. On top of that, blood, guts and metal really fleshed out the film.

I can't give it a 5 because of one particular scene, but personal grievances aside, it doesn't fit my criteria because I wouldn't buy it. I can see myself owning it, but I wouldn't walk into a store specifically looking for this film to purchase. It's still a rock solid film and I dug it.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of Rock!
Nudity? No

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Rampage: Capital Punishment (2014)

A man takes over a TV station and holds a number of hostages as a political platform to awaken humanity, instead of money.

The Cast:

• Little Bill Williamson
• Ted from Hey Dude
• The Best Damn News Team Ever
• Inept cops
• Civilian Canon fodder

The Situation:

3 years after the events of the first film, Bill Williamson has returned, this time taking control of a local news station in the next stage of his anarchist agenda. He basically wants to Purge the 1% and is imploring people to help him rid the world of the corrupt rich and save the world. 

Sandwiched in between is his slaughter if the 99% which basically amounts to population control.

The Resolution:

People are killed, stuff is blown up and the highly implausible adventures of Little Billy Williamson continue.

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Line of the film: "What I've done in the past and what I'm doing today, is because there is no gun control."

I can't decide I whether that line is funny or sad, but it rings true either way. 

You've probably never heard of either, but if you're in the mood for a popcorn flick that's just randomly destructive, look no further. The Rampage Series is what postal should have been, --someone going crazy and shooting things-- but it's better as it's own film. Specifically, what sets it apart are the high production values and the obscene amount of destruction caused by one man. In the first film, dude nearly layed waste to an entire town. Capital Punishment, though, is a lot more talky than the first but the story is roughly the same.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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The Possession Of Michael King (2014)

After his wife dies, Michael King decides to use himself to prove or disprove the supernatural. Filming himself 24/7, goes through all manner of supernatural rituals hoping that some proof would finally be captured on camera. He will learn the hard way that shit is real as he finds himself tormented by a demon who's sole purpose is to "fuck him up" and get him to kill his daughter.

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The Possession of Michael King is a very tight little film. Good premise, good acting and the story actually flowed with few, if any, hiccups. If I had to gripe about this film it would be the same issue I have with every film in this genre, I will never understand why people tempt demons and spirits and shit. Does that shit ever end well?!  

Anyway, hats off to the guy that played Michael King. I have no idea why I'm noticing specific performances in these types of films all of a sudden but this guy crushed his role. I'm fairly certain he wasn't doing the contortions his character did on screen but I was impressed regardless. The Possession of Michael King is definitely worth a watch, especially if you're into the genre.

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of demon related madness
Nudity? No

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Maniac (2014)

As he helps a young artist with her upcoming exhibition, the owner of a mannequin shop's deadly, suppressed desires come to the surface.

The Cast:

• Stupid hobbit
• His killin knife
• Knife Fodder
• The entire inanimate cast of Mannequin 
• Hot blonde with shitty accent
  

Maniac, is a surprisingly good and mildly disturbing movie. Shot from the pov of a serial killer, his face is barely seen  outside of when he's looking in a mirror and ALL this dude does, is kill chicks and take scalps, like a righteous Inglorious Basterd.

He becomes obsessed with one female and tries to prove to her that they are perfect together. When that inevitably fails, he pulls out his knife and gets to work. 

Am I allowed to say that I am digging the post Frodo, Elijah Wood? He has fully tapped into his awkwardness. Dude has been awkward since Flipper, yet 30 years later he's finally accepted it and we're all better for it.

Anyway, if you are browsing Netflix and come across Maniac, give it a watch. Very few films I know of have been from the literal pov of the serial killer and I can say that very few are as entertaining.

 

Violence? Yes.
Explosions? Of knife work
Nudity? Yes. That happened.

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Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013)

Picking up where the first film ended, Flynt has saved the town and has finally earned the respect of his peers. But what he seeks now is the respect of,  xxx, master inventor and the guy who made flynt into who he is today.

Volunteering to clean up the town, xxx, offers Flynn a job and relocates the town's entire population. After running into trouble with the island, he seeks Flynn's help in locating the machine that started it all. Once flynt returns to the island, he finds that although the food has evolved into foodimals, they aren't the only threat to his existence.

If you watched and enjoyed the first Cloudy film, you'll enjoy this one as well. It's more or less the same, but with "higher stakes," and foodimals within a Jurassic Park vibe. All of the familiar characters return and we're introduced to xxx, who's portrayed as a Steve Jobs' type inventor but is in reality a corporate villain.

Kinda like Steve Jobs actually...

Anyway, watch it.

 

Violence? No
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Odd Thomas (2013)

In a California desert town, a short-order cook with clairvoyant abilities encounters a mysterious man with a link to dark, threatening forces.

A man with clairvoyant abilities races to stop an evil. The problem with it is that he doesn't know the nature of the incident. The bulk of the film is Thomas, with the help of his super foxy girlfriend, Stormy, using his psychic and detective skills to try and uncover the mystery. The one thing he does know is that someone is going to bring a massive amount of death and misery to the town, and being the only secret psychic detective, he must to solve the case and save the town.

I can't remember when I heard about this, or what for that matter,  but I vaguely recall it being good things.

Odd Thomas is very similar in tone to John Dies at the End and if you couldn't tell from that review, I really liked that film. It's a fun little detective story that's unlike any of the previous ones we've seen and the chemistry between the cast is fantastic and one of the highlights of this film. Unfortunately, it seems to be one of the films that got caught in the 3D fad. The 3D is kinda weak, and while it doesn't ruin the film, it does take a bit away. Outside of that, I can't express how much I enjoyed the movie. The comedy works in the context of the film, as in it isn't too much or too little and the visuals are excellent as well. By the third act, I found myself really invested. Like emotionally. I like films like these; Witty dialogue, likable characters, cohesive story and everything fits together and all is tied up neatly by the end. 

Violence? Yes

Explosions? Yes

Nudity? No

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The Raid 2: Berendal (2014)

Only a short time after the first raid, Rama goes undercover with the thugs of Jakarta and plans to bring down the syndicate and uncover the corruption within his police force.

The Cast:

• Rama is back kicking ass and generally being a badass superman
• Mob boss' son. Dude was just too handsome to think straight. This caused a lot of drama
• Bejo - Upstart mobster. Big plans include mob son
• Mob boss Thai. Calm and collected
• Mob boss Japan. Also calm and collected
• Hammer girl because anyone that can do what she does with a hammer gets my undying affection

 

The Situation:

Directly after the Events of The Raid, Rama is recruited by a team of shadowy police agents whose main goal is to discover and eliminate corrupt cops.  They ask him to go undercover at a prison and befriend the son of a powerful mob boss in order to help them out.

Not too long after, shit gets unbelievably real.

Oh, and there's a Claw Hammer fight. Old Boy's hammer scene was good, but Berandal's hammer scene(s) took that one out to the back and shot it.

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The Raid 2 is unquestionably one of the hardest movies I've ever had to review. If you go back and read my review for the first, you will see that I offer nothing but gushing praise:

The best part?: They get that shit [the plot] out of the way within 10 minutes. There's nothing but action after that point and this has to have been one of the best pure guy films I have ever seen. I can overlook the so-so ending, because the start to finish action easily overshadows it.

While Berandal is everything Redemption was (and then some), I just feel like there's something off. Thing is I can't quite explain what it is, so I end up sounding like some lunatic who can't decide whether he's team Raid or not. I'm Team Raid all the way, I just  think it was the running time. 2 1/2 hrs of Ass Kicking Violence is wild, but to be fair, the time flies. Maybe it was the one man superman narrative that they gave Rama? In the first film he had a team, in this one he's wrecking shop solo.  I've been saying to anyone who will listen that Berandal will take the series away from its roots, and it did to an extent, but the action really was fast and furious. Idk man. Something is off and something is bothering me about it, but I really have no idea what it is.  Since watching it though, I have realized that comparing it to the first will not get me anywhere and I've learned that technically, Berendal was supposed to be the first film, but they didn't have the funding and Redemption was made as a way to raise funds. Looking at it like that I can't hate it. I'm on the fence of whether to watch it again though and promote it as much as the first. I think that's what's bugging me. 

I have no reservations towards scoring this film high. I do not think it was better than the first, but that is probably just diminishing returns. I do recommend Berendal to any Raid fans, but I am not a fan of the running time. A lot happened in this film though. Chances are there will be a sequel, but where they go and how will be anyone's guess.

Violence? Ultra. There's a bad guy who is a Claw Hammer expert

Explosions? Pffft of Hyper Violence. Claw Hammer dude. Claw Hammer.

Nudity? Actually, Yeah. That happened.

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Despicable Me 2 (2013)

The Greatest, meanest super villain has had an official change of heart after adopting three girls in the last film. Yes, you've read that right, Gru and his minions are now good guys and we start the film at the Princess party he's throwing for Agnes' birthday.

The Cast:

• Gru villain turned hero 
• His secret agent partner 
• The kids
• El Macho, the Manliest super villain ever
• Pollito the guard chicken
• The minions, including Kevin Dave and Tim

The Situation:

The League of Anti Villains have recruited Gru to help them save the world as a secret high tech lab has gone missing and with it, a top secret serum that could have disastrous effects if left in the wrong hands.

Unbeknownst to Gru, his minions have also gone missing. Is it connected? You'll have to watch to find out.

The Resolution:

The villain is found, the world is saved and true love exists. This you already knew. The fun is in getting there.

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Despicable Me 2 is actually a pretty fun movie. Obviously not as good as the first, but definitely a worthy sequel. There are call backs to the first film and it doesn't stray from the universe it created. That makes it feel like more like a direct sequel than a related cash grab. (Like the standalone Minion movies)

Speaking of which, The minions are again consistently one of the best parts of the film. Stealing nearly every scene they are in, speaking their weird blend of Spanish, Korean, French and Italian.

Again, it was pretty good. Watch it. I laughed a lot and enjoyed it and in the end, that's all that matters.

Violence? Animated
Explosions? Of Volcanic proportions
Nudity? There is Minion ass if you're into that sort of thing. No judgments though.

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Hatchet 3 (2013)

In pt 2 reverend zombie led a group out into the swamps to help Mary Beth take revenge on Crowley for the deaths of her father and brother. We learned a bit more about Crowley then, but part three aims to wrap things up and destroy the character for good. Plus part two introduced us to Crowley's comically large chainsaw

I'm super psyched about this film. 

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The Cast:

• Mary Beth
• PoPo
• Crowleys
• A Journalist
• Supreme Firepower

The Situation:

Picking up directly where we left off, Mary Beth finds her way out of the swamp and walks into the local sheriff's station, only saying, "I killed him."

She relays to the sheriff that's she's killed local boogeyman, Victor Crowley, who is a widely known urban legend in Louisiana. He doesn't believe in Victor Crowley and finds it hard to believe that a ghost has killed her whole family. Suspecting her, he puts together a team and heads to honey island swamp, where they keep finding bodies. Investigating the situation, Crowley reappears and fucks shit up.

A journalist who goes to visit Mary Beth in the jail, has been doing an investigation into Victor Crowley. She basically says that Victor Crowley cannot be killed. He's been cursed to relive the day off his death forever and no amount of physical damage can keep him from returning to a physical form.

There is a way to break the curse however, but to do so, Mary Beth must once again return to the island and face down the monster.

The Resolution:

In theory, the only way to end the curse is to give Crowley what he wants. So Mary Beth and Amanda the journalist, head out to another town to retrieve the ashes of Thomas Crowley. Believing that giving Victor his father's ashes would finally put his soul at peace.

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Leave. The Swamps. Alone!

Stray Quotage:

"This isn't Casper the Friendly Ghost.
      Well how do you know?
Because Casper doesn't tear people apart with his bare hands."

"You didn't fight back?
    No, I hid. And that's the only reason those aren't my balls hanging from that tree!!

 

"Hey, you want to hide in a bush with me?!"

 

"Fuck this. His ego is gonna get us all killed. I'm out.

"What's up, you swamp bitch?! Running around in your fucking overalls, killing everyone I know..."

Hatchet 3 is everything I thought it would be: Short, gets to the point quickly, is equal parts gore and comedy. Crowley exists. The curse exists. Mary Beth must be the one to break it. In the meanwhile, Crowley runs amok and destroys nearly everyone until he's put to rest. The best part about the Hatchet movies are the kills and although we had to wait about 30 min it's well worth it. Dude was killing people who weren't even in the film. Someone just wandered on screen and got it. I think he went through about 10ppl in 5 min. Brutal.

As it did with the first two, Hatchet 3 has completely satisfied my bloodlust. From the opening scene it establishes itself as dark, gory and as funny as the first two. It has also satisfactorily wrapped up the storyline started in the first. If you haven't seen the previous films, The story is retold in film and it isn't a 10 minute long thing. There's also in jokes and references to the first few films and they actually flow with the film and don't seem forced.

Overall, It's actually pretty cool how consistent this series has been.

Watch it. Watch it now.

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Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

 

The most delicious event since macaroni met cheese. Inspired by the beloved children's book, the film focuses on a town where food falls from the sky like rain.

 
The Cast:

• Flynt
• Flynts Dad
• Officer Mr T
• Perky young reporter
• The town of Swallow Falls aka Chew and Swallow

Every since he was a child flynt has always wanted to be a scientist and have people like him. After the town is destroyed when the local sardine economy collapses, Flynt invents a machine with the intention to turn water into food, thus saving the town from sardines.

He pretty much destroys the town, in his efforts, but the machine works. The problem is that it is eventually over worked and the food begins to mutate.  Soon the entire town is threatened with food related destruction and In an effort to save the world, Flynt and co travel to the satellite to shut it down.  They find that it now resides inside a giant meatball, filed with live foods and there, humans are at the bottom of the food chain.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is an awesome movie.It's an awkward comedy that's essentially about a man who means to do well and gain everyone's respect, but ultimately fails spectacularly before finding his own self worth and/or saving the world. In between all of that are a ton of puns and simple jokes that amuse immature people such as myself.

                                                                                                              Stray Quotage:

"I wanted to run away that day. But you can't run away from your own feet."

"You've seen a meteor shower, but you've never seen a shower meatier than this."

"Who needs the approval of one family member when you can get it from a whole town of acquaintances?"

"What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995"

Violence? Animated
Explosions? Of fruits and vegetables and non nutritious stuff
Nudity? Seriously?! Have a little decency perv!

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Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)

***An iCheck Movies Listed Film***

I greatly enjoyed the first film. I'm curious as to where they go in this one.

It's a new year at camp half blood and despite saving Olympus on the last film, Percy can't get over the hump of being a one quest chump. 

After the camp is attacked, he learns that he is part of a, grand prophecy, and he will either save or destroy Olympus when the time comes. But he must first seek the Golden Fleece, and heal the tree that provides the barrier of protection for the camp.

Luke, his nemesis from the first film, has turned a few of the other Demi-God's to his cause and he again seeks to bring about the fall of Olympus. He needs the Golden Fleece in order to revive Kronos, King of the Titans who has the power to destroy Zeus and all the Olympians.

Their paths cross in the Sea of Monsters, where the fleece resides and the fate of the world hangs in the balance.

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I said it before and I'll say it again, I like Greek mythology. Percy Jackson is a dope series. I haven't read the books and I don't intend to, but the movies are consistently entertaining. The concept is awesome (ancient Greek mythology in the modern world), the special effects are dope and the comedy elements from the first are carried over into the film (although they've been noticeably played down in favor of Percy's battle against self-doubt.)

If you watched and enjoyed the first, you'll like the second. Sea of Monsters is the second film in the series, but you don't have to watch The Lightning Thief to understand/enjoy it.

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Stray Quotage:

"It's the chariot of the damned.
         It looks like a NYC taxi.
Same difference"

"I'd be hurt if I wasn't such a self confident individual"

"I had to crawl through the depths of Tartarus itself...and Cleveland"

Violence? Ancient Greek Self defense
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Insidious 2 (2013)

 

Direct Sequel to 2011s surprise hit. Same cast. Picking up directly where we left off. I wasn't planning to watch this so soon, but when opportunity knocks...

The Cast:

• Elise - Spirit hunter
• Josh - Spirit possessed
• Renai - Spirit worried
• Dalton - Spirit hero
• Other kid - useful, in spirit
• Josh's mom - Foxxy in Spirit

The Situation:

Immediately following the events of what we're now calling "Chapter 1," we find Renai in an interrogation room, explaining the previous events to officer Steve Harvey who suspects that Josh is  responsible for Elise's murder.  

Josh and his family move into his foxxy mama's house while theirs is being investigated. They are trying to put themselves back together but it seems the spirits won't let them rest.

Resolution: 

Discovering/realizing/accepting that Josh was in fact possessed, they decided that the best course of action was to try to render him unconscious and expel the demon from his body.

The demon however would have none of that.

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I always feel like somebody's watching me...

Insidious: Chapter 2, tries to be, but isn't as outright creepy as the first. It does get crazy, but It's more of a well written story that aims to bridge the first and (inevitable) third films than an all out scarefest. For what it's worth, it's actually dope how they pieced it together with the footage from the first film. It explained a lot of things and was very well executed. It's not a cheap money grabbing sequel. There's a story and since the studios, in their infinite wisdom, decided that every villain needs a story, Chapter Two is just that. We get to find out the origin of the spirit hunting and trying to kill their family. [Joy!] Dalton, as creepy as he is, is okay, but this story is about Josh, because as the movie unfolds, you realize that this all started with him. 

The end of the film sets up yet another sequel, but if chapter 3 is about the adventures of Elise, Specs and Bad Beard Bret, I wouldn't be too broken up. They are hilarious and have awesome chemistry.

His beard is atrocious and an affront to all bearded men everywhere.

 Random Observations:

• "So that's what that was about" said by a character with a wink and nod to the  events in both films.
• Who names their kid Kali and pronounces it (Kelly)? The same type of people who are named Renee but spells it like Renai.
• Why is everyone's beard so shitty? The costume people had one job. Get your beards right, cuz! You know this movie is opening worldwide, right?
• Josh swears up and down that everything is cool and he just wants to move on. Yet just about everything he says and does is so damn creepy. Somehow this sets off no alarms. 

 

Violence? Alluded to. Little blood here. Little blood there.
Explosions? Of astroprojected madness
Nudity? Implied. But does ghost titty count? It wasn't there. I'm just curious.

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Oz The Great and Powerful (2013)

***An iCheck Movies Listed Film***

Someone decided that 60yrs was long enough and the story of the Wizard of Oz has to be told from the wizard's point of view. Exactly who is the man behind the curtain? What are his motivations? Does he dream in Technicolor?

The Cast:

• Oz, charlatan magician/future king
• Zach braff, magicians assistant, future ape
• Theodora, the wickedest of all the wicked witches
• Elnora, creates witches, watches the throne like JayZ
• Glenda, the Good witch

The Situation:

Oz is a conman magician in a traveling circus during the Dust Bowl era of Kansas. He feels that he is better than he is and he shouldn't have to be performing in dusty towns. He wishes to be a great man and while running from some danger, he is caught in the middle of a cyclone and transported to the Land of Oz, where becomes their prophesied savior and saves the land from the terror of the Wicked Witch.

The Resolution:

Despite a rocky journey, he finds himself  defeating the witch and saving the land. He makes preparations for the future saviour because evil can never die.

Along the way, he becomes the man he's always wanted to be and the hero the world always knew he was.

 

   Oz hath no fury like a witch who's scorned...

Oz The Great and Powerful is a better movie and story than I thought it'd be. Idk what I expected, but I found myself pleased. It's an origin story that explains how and why one became wicked and the other became Zordon. On top of that, it movie looks and sounds amazing and is very well acted (even though the writing was hammy). It seemed like they had fun filming and surprisingly no one mailed in their performance, which tends to happen in movies like these. I'm giving special props to Mila Kunis. Her turn as the witch was amazing and she acted her ass off.

All the stuff is there, The Emerald City, The Yellow Brick Road, the flying monkeys, and the witch's water allergy. But there were only a few things that bothered me. Namely, Oz is propheczed to be the Wizard King of the land, but it's never made clear whether he's a king of all wizards or a wizard who is also a king.

Also the super hammy dialogue was a bit much: 

"You could be a good man, if you wanted to." But I don't. I don't want to be a good man, I want to be a great man." Ugh.

That's all I ever wanted for you, greatness." Double ugh. 

I'm like just get to the flying monkeys! and of course the flying monkeys are baboons. Baboons are terrifying.

Zach Braff? How did that happen? Maybe he's running out of that good Scrubs money? 

Nah. He probably always wanted to be a flying monkey or some shit.

 
Stray Quotage: 

- Let's go make some magic
- Of course I'll save this little talking money...in a bellhop's uniform.
- Are you really going to do this? 

         How hard can it be to kill a wicked witch?

    Hard. Really hard. Really really hard.

- Every lie you tell gets us one step closer to the emerald city dungeon.
      Then don't think if them as lies, think of them as stepping stones on the road to greatness

 

Violence? Eh
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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The Man From Nowhere (2010)

***An iCheck Movies Listed Film***

 

 

 

A quiet pawnshop keeper with a violent past takes on a drug- and organ trafficking ring in hope of saving the child who is his only friend.

The Cast:

• Badass that just wants to be left alone
• Little girl who warms his heart
• Druggie mom who dances for dollars
• Korean gangsters who are tough guys until they eat a fist or two

The Situation:

After a woman steals a brick of heroin, Korean Gangsters track her down, cut her up and take her daughter. Their neighbor, a reluctant badass and friend of the little girl, gets caught up in the drama when the thugs knock over his shop and rushes out to save her from a grisly fate.

The Resolution:

Badass man goes full Taken and cleans house in route to save the girl. When he gets some bad news, his pissed off meter goes to over 9000(!!!) and he wrecks even more shop.

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The Man From Nowhere is one of the best crime thrillers to come from (South) Korea. As it starts off, it seems very similar to The Professional, but it quickly takes a different turn once the ball gets rolling and becomes more comparable to Taken. That's not to say it's the same, but Nowhere borrows from both films while guiding the film down a different path. 

It's a solid foreign flick that's action packed, fight filled and well acted. Here's the trailer so judge for yourself.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of fists to the face
Nudity? Itty bitty titty

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Tai Chi Zero (2012)

Yang travels to Chen Village to learn a powerful form of Tai Chi. Though villagers are forbidden from teaching outsiders, Yang becomes their best hope for survival when a man arrives with a plan to build a railroad through the village.

A man is born with what is known as "The Three Blossoms of the Crown," a technique that allows its user near invincibility and complete mastery of his martial art. His current boss is a warlord who uses his technique to finish battles and each time he uses it, it takes a toll on his health. After the last fight, he was told that he's dying as he wastes his chi and he should seek out Master Chen and beg him to teach his style of kung fu.

He soon learns that The Chen style of Kung-Fu is not taught to outsiders and he's rebuffed despite his many efforts. However he is determined and once the town is threatened by its prodigal son, he intervenes, hoping to win their favor. Shit quickly his the fan and you'll have to watch Tai Chi Hero to finish the story.

Tai Chi Zero is actually fun and entertaining. It looks amazing and the storyline is both solid and consistent. The action scenes come often and there's very little filler. Just about everyone in the film has a background in martial arts or were someone that was pivotal to martial arts cinema and they get title cards explaining who they are when they first show on screen. That was an idea that's actually dope in concept and execution. Anyway, I'm actually looking forward to  and I hope it doesn't Kill Bill Vol.2 itself. That'd be bad. Mmmkay...

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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The Collection (2012)

After escaping the dungeon of a serial killer, a man is forced to return to the house of horrors to help save a woman right in the killer's clutches.

After a quick recap of the events of the first film, and more importantly the killer's habits, we get right down to business. In all of his killings, he always takes one person alive, was never caught and the town is in fear as he has continued his activities.

Young Miley [Elena] and her two friends head out to the club after her boyfriend bails. As she dips into the bathroom for a quick wank and cry, The Collector appears and lays waste to the club. In the chaos, a man, Arkin O'Brien escapes from a lock box. The Collector grabs Elena in his place, since she was unfortunate enough to be in the club and fortunate enough to be in the bathroom when shit got real. Her father, wealthy golfer Shooter McGavin, is a man of considerable means and he sends her guardian luciello to retrieve her. Arkin agrees to lead the team to The Collector's base of operations, but he refuses to go inside. Spoiler alert: He goes inside and once there has to fight his way out. Shit gets crazy.

They sent in a crew to rescue her, not knowing that she was a strong 

independent woman who don't need no man.

So, The Collection is a sequel to The Collector. An overlooked (solid) horror film that dropped in 2009 from what I've been told. As much as I would like to see it, I haven't been able to, so I've decided to go in blind and what do I get in the first scene? Shooter McGavin. Yes, Christopher McDonald makes an appearance and brightens my day. Followed by Bubbles from The Wire. With a Mohawk. Amazing.

The real star of the film is the collector and his very elaborate death traps. This dude commits what has to be the single most amount of people killed in one act by one person. It was practically one man genocide and has definitely made the My Favorite Kills list. The dude is also a master of hand to hand combat, mechanical engineering, guns and has two bad ass dobermans.

 

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

The Collection is fantastic and I'm looking forward to watching the first. It's not a five star film, but it is definitely solid and is only hampered by a few stupid character decisions. I'm biased because I'm a fan of the genre, but it's my blog sooo whatever.

Trailer: 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes but brief.

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Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)

Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, born with a superior olfactory sense, creates the world's finest perfume. His work, however, takes a dark turn as he searches for the ultimate scent.

Perfume is a fantastic movie, but it has to be seen to be enjoyed. I didn't know what I was getting into when I had first watched it, but I was drawn to the poster. It's fantastic. By the end credits, though, I found that I loved the film. It had to be one of the most original movies I've ever seen. A visually descriptive movie about scent is something I don't think has ever been done and it's been done so well.

It is a little more than two hours long and if you're enjoying the movie. You barely notice it, but when you watch with other people who don't feel the same, you'll notice its length. But because I like you and I want you to be aware of Perfume, I'll do you a favor. Below I've posted the trailer, which unfortunately gives away the movie. If you choose to watch it, you'll get the gist of what I'm saying, but you will spoil the experience you would get  going in blindly. You'll also save yourself about 2hrs. Sooo...

The choice is yours:

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Dabangg 2 (2012)

Chulbul risks everything that masters to him when he sabotages a politician's image by exposing the man's criminal and immoral activities.

Supercop Chulbul Pandey is on top of things. Dispensing his own brand of arrogant justice. When he comes across corrupt politician Baccha, and they immediately develop a distaste for each other. Baccha sends his brother to talk to Pandey's father and later Pandey kills him for talking too much of that "fuck you I run this city"  shit. Baccha in return declares war and royally pisses him off leading to the explosive climax.

Dabangg 2 is a ridiculous movie and I'm mad I let it sit on my queue for so long. From the Awesome intro, to the over the top slow motion action down to the crazy dance sequences, this movie is indeed entertaining. When your personal theme song includes the lyric: "One slap from him can make people unconscious for life" you just know you're in for a treat.

 

 Man, this guy really loved his song and dance routines. Just look at him go.

 

Plot wise, Dabangg 2 is similar to Singham. Supercop transfers to big city, cleans it up, faces down politicians, and wins the day in the end, with all the singing and dancing one can handle. The Main difference between Singham and Dabangg is that Chubul Pandey is both arrogant and cocky, qualities not found in Singham and it's a darker film overall. If you liked one, you'll definitely like this one. 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? How does one say "No" in Hindi?

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Dragon (2011)

A seemingly humble paper maker is hounded by a persistent detective after events reveal that he may might possibly be a killer with a blood-soaked past.

Two men come into a village to rob their prosperous paper mill. Liu Jin-xi (Donnie Yen) fights them off and kills them. One of the men was a dangerous and wanted killer and a detective sets out to discover how an unarmed paper maker could kill the trained killer. He digs deeper into the case trying to figure out just who he is.

That starts with a little cat and mouse action as the detective starts to test him, knowing that he isn't just a lame shop keep who got in a lucky strike. When he discovers what he believes is his true identity, a wanted outlaw, he sets about plans to bring him in. But word gets out and the 72 Demons, his old gang, makes plans to bring him back home. By force if necessary.

This old man, he played one. He'll punch your face off just for fun...

Dragon is essentially A History of Violence, but with more martial arts and asians and it takes place in 1917 China. Although there's a fight within the opening scenes, it does move a bit slow but once his true identity is out,  the action and story picks up as well. And things get that much better. Not so much for the character, but for the viewer. By the end you'll see he has to fight his father to get out of the gang and at one point, even he gets Yip Man'd (rapid fire punches to the face/body)

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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