Maximum Conviction (2012)

Sent to mothball an old prison, a former black ops operative and his partner have their hands full when mercenaries arrive seeking two female inmates.

On the night of a prison transport, a highly trained extraction team runs into the buzzsaw that is Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Jamaican Slayin', Russian Bustin', Police Officer known as Steven Segal.

In case you don't get it, let me break this down further: this flick has Stone Cold Steve Austin--The Second Baddest Man on the Planet --and his sole existence is to lead his team through the chaos and clear a path so that Segal can do his thing.

No bullshit, Maximum Conviction is one of the best popcorn flicks I've seen in quite sometime and I have no idea why I waited so long to watch it. Again, this is popcorn. You don't have to think, just sit back and enjoy. Everything that you expect from this flick is there, quips, one liners, shootouts and just when you thought it wouldn't happen, some mofo gets his arm irreparably broken.

Full disclosure, I'm giving it a three here and a four on Netflix. Nobody reads this blog or cares, but I'm fully aware of what the movie was and it's real value, and I am trying to keep some consistency on this site at least. Also, as far as Netflix it's concerned, I can never get enough of that Pudgy American Samurai.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Rampage: Capital Punishment (2014)

A man takes over a TV station and holds a number of hostages as a political platform to awaken humanity, instead of money.

The Cast:

• Little Bill Williamson
• Ted from Hey Dude
• The Best Damn News Team Ever
• Inept cops
• Civilian Canon fodder

The Situation:

3 years after the events of the first film, Bill Williamson has returned, this time taking control of a local news station in the next stage of his anarchist agenda. He basically wants to Purge the 1% and is imploring people to help him rid the world of the corrupt rich and save the world. 

Sandwiched in between is his slaughter if the 99% which basically amounts to population control.

The Resolution:

People are killed, stuff is blown up and the highly implausible adventures of Little Billy Williamson continue.

------------------------------------------

Line of the film: "What I've done in the past and what I'm doing today, is because there is no gun control."

I can't decide I whether that line is funny or sad, but it rings true either way. 

You've probably never heard of either, but if you're in the mood for a popcorn flick that's just randomly destructive, look no further. The Rampage Series is what postal should have been, --someone going crazy and shooting things-- but it's better as it's own film. Specifically, what sets it apart are the high production values and the obscene amount of destruction caused by one man. In the first film, dude nearly layed waste to an entire town. Capital Punishment, though, is a lot more talky than the first but the story is roughly the same.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Sweetwater (2014)

  

A Pioneer woman is forced to fight for what's hers when her husband disappears and a calculating preacher makes a play for her land.

 

The Cast:

• Sadistic PreacherMan - Mr. Josiah
• Capable Sheriff Hobo - Ed Harris 
• Widowed Whore aka Sweetwater - January Jones
• Unscrupulous Bankerman - Stephen Root

Quick Synopsis:

There's a preacher who believes the land is g God's land and he intends to purge it of sin, purify it, and restore it to the way he believes God intended. These are the types of people who are more than willing to kill to achieve their goals and Mr. Josiah is no different. The major conflict starts when the preacher refuses to build a fence to keep his sheep in and Sweetwater's husband, Miguel, confronts him about it. 

In addition to Miguel's disappearance, Josiah is questioned by Sheriff Hobo about two other missing people who Josiah referred to as trespassers when he gunned them down. Not long after, he makes a play for  Sweetwater's land, offering to convert her and her land to the church, forcefully if necessary. This sets the three on a collision course as they head to a bloody climax that will settle their issues once and for all.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sweetwater is just about the slowest of the slow burn revenge thriller westerns. I was expecting a legit shoot'em up western. I thought it would be something like The Quick and The Dead, but plot and character development got in the way. Seriously, she finally starts her revenge with about 35 minutes left in the film. Although she puts in work, 35 min is not really enough time for killin'. 

What I did find funny though, was that back then women were really thought of as different people. "Here, take this to protect your feminine skin." Absolutely ridiculous, yet hilarious. Another thing was that a very public peep hole masturbation scene proved that there really were no rules in the west

I liked Stephen Root (dude is awesome. Google him, you know who he is) and I'm a fan of Ed Harris, who hasn't gotten enough credit for a lot of the stuff that he's done (Post The Rock). He was pretty damn good as the unique but not queer, county Sheriff.

 Overall though, it was not as good as and as action packed as I thought it'd be:

Violence?  Yes
Explosions?  Of subdued violence
Nudity? Yes

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The Last Stand (2013)

The sheriff of a sleepy border town finds his quiet life interrupted when a drug boss escapes FBI custody and fled straight toward his town.

 

Ah-nold is back. The Last Stand was his  first official starring role since being Governor, and he's a little older, a little slower, but he's still got it. Apparently forest Whitaker is also in this (for which there no excuse), but I do like Peter Stormare. He's awesome.

At the town's diner, Sheriff Arnold spies a couple of shifty eyed truckers and decides to run their plates as he thinks they were suspicious. The plates come back clean, but unbeknownst to him, he really is up to some shady stuff.

During a nighttime prison transport, under the watch of Mister Whitaker, one of the country's most notorious gangsters escapes, with a very well orchestrated prison break. [It was actually a pretty cool sequence of events.] There's a typical FBI manhunt until the gang cross into Schwarzeneggers borders. There, he and his crew make their last stand, attempting to hold off the bad guys until help arrives. Generally after all the hard work has been done. 

 

The getaway car, a modified Corvette Zero one, is a thing of beauty. I'm not a car guy, but even I had to acknowledge it's greatness. Specifically it's MPG. Dude drove it over 90 for about a, legit day and didn't even need to refuel once. Dope.

  

The Last Stand is better than I thought it would be. Like I said, the car and the prison break were dope. On top of that, This movie sounds and looks amazing. It really is a much better movie than I originally gave it credit for. Plus, It's always nice to see Luiz Guzman as he's one of my favorite supporting actors.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Pfft. A Schwarzenegger movie without explosions? What do you think you're watching, Twins?
Nudity? None

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Director's Spotlight: John Woo

John Woo

John Woo Yu-Sen (born 1 May 1946) is a Hong Kong film director, writer, and producer. Recognized for his stylised films of highly choreographed action sequences, Mexican standoffs, and use of slow-motion. Woo has directed several notable Hong Kong and Hollywood films.

Sharp choreography, smooth gun play, doves, and stand-offs are usually signs you're enjoying a John Woo original.

With that being said, here are a few of his films that you might want watch at some point in life:

The Killer (1989)
A disillusioned assassin accepts one last hit in hopes of using his earnings to restore vision to a singer he accidentally blinded, only to be double-crossed by his boss.

Hard Boiled (1992)
A tough-as-nails cop teams up with an undercover agent to shut down a sinister mobster and his crew.

Face/Off (1997)
To foil an extortion plot, an FBI agent undergoes a face-transplant surgery and assumes the identity and physical appearance of a ruthless terrorist, but the plan backfires when the same criminal impersonates the cop with the same method.

Hard Target (1993)
A woman hires a drifter as her guide through New Orleans in search of her father, who has gone missing. They discover a deadly game of cat and mouse behind his disappearance in the process.

Mission Impossible 2 (2000)
A secret agent is sent to Sydney, to find and destroy a genetically modified disease called "Chimera."

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Safe (2012)

A former cage fighter's rescue of an abducted 12yr old girl pits them both against Triad gangs, the Russian Mafia and a bunch of corrupt cops.

Mei is an 11yr old Chinese genius who has been blessed with a photographic memory. She has been taken in by the Triad to be used as a counter, to make sure their money is correct in all their interests.

The Stath is a cage fighter who takes dives, hoping that taking a beating will absolve him from his sins. He rubs some people the wrong way and decides to go underground.

Their paths cross after the Stath sees her being pursued on a subway. He hops a train to save her and discovers that they have common enemies. Together, they team up to right wrongs and fight injustice.

 

Well, no, not really, but Safe is actually a pretty decent movie. It's a typical Statham action film that hits on all the usual points: fighting, car chases, shoot outs, etc. It works. I was pleasantly entertained. I feel robbed of a climatic battle at the end, but that was explained away with a pretty good joke.

It's not the best, but something to watch on a lazy day or if you're looking for something entertaining to watch with a female. (They love the Stath). My favorite part off the movie though, was this guy right here:

  You know he means that both ways.

The HAIC of the Triad is James Hong aka David Lo-Pan!!!!!  I love that guy.

Sidenote: Safe was Filmed on the subways and streets of NYC. Meaning that The Stath AND Lo-Pan was in N.Y. and no one told me?! You're all jerks.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of violence
Nudity? Nope

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G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

 

 

The G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.

Framed for crimes against the country, the G.I.Joe team is terminated by the President's order, and the surviving team members face off again Zartan, his accomplices, and the world leaders he has under his influence. Since the last film, The Cobra Commander and Destro have been captured. Storm Shadow and Zoltan have escaped and Duke now commands the team with Roadblock as his #2. 

The United States government and specifically the office of the president has been compromised. Zartan, using nano technology has been posing as the president. He intends to break out the Cobra Commander and completely wipe out the Joes. He declares them enemies of the state and gives orders to have them eliminated. After suffering heavy losses in the nighttime raid, Roadblock, Flint, Snakeyes and Lady Jay are forced to go underground to get revenge, defeat Cobra and clear their names.

Here's what I didn't like about this movie: 

• The RZA. Why does It feel like you can't have a movie, involving any type of martial art and not include him? How is he the Joe's Kung-fu Grandmaster? The RZA sucks and this is just entirely too much RZA for me.
• According to this story, Storm Shadow was set up by Zartan when he was a child. But that would make Zartan significantly older than he is in the present day. That's ridiculous.
• After the Joes rescue the President, they claim there's no casualties, yet they killed every Secret Service agent on the way to get him.
• How exactly does Storm Shadow get a hold of a snake eyes suit?
• Bruce Willis. It feels like he was included only to give the film a solid "big name."
• Also, Storm Shadow gets redemption? No. Don't change him because you felt guilty for liking him in the first. Dude is a Ninja. Good or bad, you're supposed to like him. Ninjas are dope.

Here's what I did like:

• The chemistry between The Rock and Channing Tatum is crazy. I actually kinda hope they do a buddy cop movie in the future. Their banter was hilarious.
• The Rock himself is hilarious and the dude is huge. It's ridiculous how small pistols look in his hands.
• The Action and Visual effects are crazy and within 5 min you are aware that this is already a better film than that other crap.
• Boyd Crowder is in this movie! I'm excited. He's awesome.
• Titus Pullo aka Frank Castle has a meaty role. 
• There's a "Cobra uses red lasers" reference!
• Roadblock challenging Snake Eyes as the most badass character. 
• The extended ninja sequence, because ninjas are awesome.
• Bruce Willis. He was actually kind of a beast. 
• The events of the last film are never mentioned except to introduce us to the new cast and to reintroduce the Cobra Commander, who looks fantastic and is all about the slow motion intimidating walk. (He does nothing outside of that.)

G.I. Joe: Retaliation was a fun popcorn flick. Probably could have been better overall, but I wouldn't ask for more than what I got. Definitely better than Rise of Cobra and now maybe, hopefully, we can finally throw some flour on that wet turd, scoop it up and toss it from our memories.

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? You would have thought this was a Michael Bay film.
Nudity? No.

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Posse (1993)

A group of mostly black infantrymen return from the Spanish-American War with a cache of gold. They travel to the West where their leader searches for the men who lynched his father.

I watched Posse because I didn't think I had seen it. But I had. Just not from beginning to end. While the cast put on fine performances, I was still disappointed overall (I'm looking at you deebo). Posse was a decent film, it just didn't captivate me.

 Side Note: An ensemble film about negro cowboys and two of the most famous negro actors you could get at the time were Tone Loc and Big Daddy Kane? 

Also, Billy Zane dies in almost every movie he's in. Just sayin'

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Killer Girl K (2011) [TV Series]

After her mother is kidnapped and killed, a young woman who was (already quite bad ass) joins a shadowy group to get the revenge training she needs. When she eventually accomplishes that task, she wants to retire. But to do so she'll have to fight her way out of the company.


Killer Girl K/Little Girl K is an action filled Korean series. It doesn't break new ground, but it does look good and the fight scenes are well done.

             

Sexy. Bad Ass. Women. They even did an their own stunts.

Here's a fight scene that I think you'll enjoy. Decide for yourself if it's worth checking out or not:

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Headshot (2012)

A cop who becomes a hitman for a group aimed at eliminating those who are above the law finds his world turned upside down by a single a devastating blow.

During a contract kill, an assassin,Tul, is shot in the head. His best friend manages to get him to a hospital and he barely makes it. Three months later he awakes, only to find that his vision has gone upside down.

We soon get Tul's backstory and see how he came to be this way.

Tul was a policeman who busted open a case implicating the Minister's brother and refuses a 10 Million Baht sum to back away. He then super coincidentally meets a sexy prostitute named Joy and gives her the business, only to find her dead in the bathtub the next morning. This of course lead to blackmail, to which he responded by nailing the dude with a steel chair. WWE style. That resulted in prison time, which effectively removed him from the case anyway.

In prison he was visited by Dr Demon, who offers him freedom in exchange for becoming one of his assassins. Basically killing high ranking corrupt officials who've escaped legal action. He accepts of course.

Back in the present, Tul is captured and tortured into giving up whoever gives him orders. They strip him and drip hot candle wax on his junk then shove the candle itself into his junk. (they waxed Santa's balls!) He manages to escape but he knows he needs a driver so he hijacks the car of the 2nd hottest Asian in the film. He tells her that he tires of his life and seeks out a life of peace and tranquility with the monks of the island. But that's soon shattered as men come looking to kill him for past transgressions.

Headshot jumps back and forth in narrative a bit too seamlessly. You have to really focus to tell when is when. Outside of that, it was a pretty good film.

Out of Ten? 7 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Dredd (2012)

In a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO.

Metro City is overrun with crime. The High Council recognizes that they are losing the war and if the city falls, all is lost. In their desperation, they have pushed to recruit more judges. Among the class is a woman who applied for judgeship previously, but was denied. It turns out that she is one of the most powerful psychics and they assign Judge Dredd, a highly decorated and capable judge to partner with and evaluate her.

On their first assignment together, they investigate a triple homicide and find evidence that the head of a powerful gang may be involved. A routine assessment becomes a fight for survival as They attempt to infiltrate her building and take her down. She quickly locks it down and the only way out is to fight their way to and kill the queen.

God Save The Queen.

Judge Dredd is a decent film. Not terrible, not great. The reason I avoided this film was because I thought it would be too much like The Raid. After watching, I think that's exactly the reason it's getting the acclaim that it is. This movie is, The Raid, but set in the future and significantly less awesome. Judging on its own merits however, Judge Dredd was violent, gory, and it took no prisoners. I was definitely impressed with it's presentation. However, I lost interest towards the latter half of the film. I don't know what happened, but I just stopped caring. Maybe I'll have to watch it again, (and if I do, I will gladly update or do another review) but on first impression, I'm saying 6.5. It was an unnecessary knockoff. There just wasn't much there.

Out of Ten? 6.5

Violence? Hyper
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Olympus has Fallen (2013)

Disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning finds himself trapped inside the White House in the wake of a terrorist attack; using his inside knowledge, Banning works with national security to rescue the President from his kidnappers

The most unrealistic attack on American soil has just taken place and it's up to Gerard "300" Butler to kick in doors, smash windows, and kill every terrorist on his way to save the president. North Koreans have infiltrated the White House, killed every active Secret Service agent and many civilians in a coordinated attack designed to capture the President, force the US to withdraw its troops in Asia and blow up the United States with their own nuclear missiles.

After an incident at Camp David, (The timeline is never clearly stated) in which the first lady dies, agent Butler has been taken off the president's detail and assigned desk duty at the Department Of the Treasury. He makes no secret that he wants back in and when the Koreans attack, he heads straight for The White House and gets in on the action.

'Merica for 'Mericans!

Olympus contained an impressive number of headshots. At one point though, he took out a sniper with a glock from sniping distance. That was the moment I threw my hands up. I could live with the Korean airplane that was gunning people down for 8 solid minutes in front of the White House, but this? This was too much.

Needless to say, Olympus Has Fallen is not to be taken seriously nor is it a joke. When's the last time we head a brutal one Man Army Pro America Anti Terrorist film? The nature of the film allows it to be over the top. It could have easily been worse, but it wasn't. Thing is we need movies like this. There are too many soft films and not enough guy flicks out there.

One of the best parts of the film is when Gerard Butler carries through on his threat to stab the bad guy in the head with his knife. He has him down, looks him in the eyes, notices the knife in his hand, thinks about it, kinda shrugs, then knifes him. Twas awesome.



Sidenote: 
Olympus sports some of the worst dialogue ever. I know it happens in films like these, but still. Oh and there's also a very dramatic (and emphatic) "thumbs up" which signified that the day had been saved. Also I'm sure they blatantly changed actors playing the president's kid and hoped no one would notice. I did. I noticed.

Extra Sidenote:
I do appreciate the subtle shift in Top Asian villain status as it belonged to Japan for many years, was followed by China for a bit and finally recently passed down to the newest most dastardly Asian enemy, North Korea.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Sooo many headshots
Explosions? 'Muricah! Fuck yeah!
Nudity? No

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Act of Valor (2012)

***Live Blog Review***

An elite team of Navy SEALs embark on a covert mission to recover a kidnapped CIA agent.

- Here we go, The only movie starring active duty marines.Yay!
 
- Chris Brown is putting a hurting on "Roselyn Sanchez"(Chris Brown jokes never get old, apparently.)

-Wait, that is Roselyn Sanchez. Oh man, her career...

- So three days ago two CIA agents were ambushed. The female agent was Taken(wink) wrapped in a carpet and carried out of her house (The old Carpet Burrito.)
 
- The Navy seals are prepping for their mission to bring her back safely. They hang out with their families and friends one last time and say their goodbyes before they head out the next morning. (Nice to see that even the Marines take time for cliches.)

- There's a lot of first person camera work and I'm feeling kinda queasy.

- If we could exchange the "acting" scenes for more action scenes, we'd have one hell of a kick ass film.

- These dudes can't act. But they are so wooden. I kept expecting them to snap and yell, "YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME?!! I'M A SOLDIER!!!"

- This movie is a cleverly disguised recruitment tool. Somewhere out there is a 3-Star General, laughing at all the new applications he's processed since the film's release.

By the end of this film, some dude took an RPG to the chest and walked away. Even for a military film starting "Real Life Marines," that's a stretch.

Out of Ten? 6

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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The Quick and the Dead (1995)

Lady avenger returns to western town owned by a ruthless gunslinger hosting an elimination tournament....In the west, you're either quick or you're dead.

The Quick and the Dead is hands down one of the best films of the Western genre. There's a coherent story, there's gunfights, and there's lawlessness all strung together to make a solid flick. While Sharon Shtone headlines, the bulk of the work is done by Gene Hackman and a young Leonardo DiCaprio. Plus, let's not forget that Russell Crowe is in this film too.

So to sum things up:

A list cast + balance between action/drama + gun fights + the wild west = a solid western and one you should watch.


Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Gangster Squad (2013)

Los Angeles, 1949: A secret crew of police officers led by two determined sergeants work together in an effort to take down the ruthless mob king Mickey Cohen who runs the city.

 
Gangster Squad, The Untouchables, and another flick or two that I'm sure I'm missing. There's just Something about cops being just as ruthless as the bad guys. Villains are not constrained by the law and that's their advantage. When the cops level the playing field however, shit usually gets real. It's just something that is necessary, but unthinkable in today's society.

Anyway, Gangster Squad was an enjoyable flick. There was drama (of course), but there were more action and gun fights to make up for it. In the climax, they shot up the lobby of a hotel. Twas good stuff. I feel like Emma Stone was a bit miscast but I've gained a new respect for Sean Penn.

Sean Penn is a man who I've never gave proper credit to. I don't like him, but I cannot deny his talent. 

Granted this was just a generic role for him, but for some reason I noticed him.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Some mook ate a shotgun to the face!
Explosions? Mofos were tossing dynamite like they were Looney Toons.
Nudity? No. Surprisingly.

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Expendables 2 (2012)

Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.

Mercenaries for hire are back and with Stallone owing 5million to Bruce Willis, he comes to collect in the form of a job. He tells Stallone he wants him and his crew to collect the contents of a safe from a crashed plane in China. Among the contents of the safe is the location of an abandoned Russian plutonium mine that he doesn't want to fall into the wrong hands. Bruce also insists they take a bad ass safe cracking Asian (who wasn't bad on the eyes) along with the mission. After they retrieve the map, they are ambushed by Van Damme and his #2, American Ninja Scott Adkins, who has plans to sell the plutonium worldwide. On their way out, they manage to kill one of Stallone's red-shirts, (badassly, I might add) and the stage is set for vengeance.


Expendables 2 is a guy flick. Nothing more, nothing less. There were a few scenes of unnecessary drama and I'm trying to remember if the first had as much drama as this one. I don't think it did, but I guess we can chalk up the drama scenes to being the calm before the storm.

The dialogue was once again choppy and cliched, but I really wasn't too worried about that. Why? Because I'm not in it for the dialogue and it's clear that neither were they. They were there to do reckless shit like throw missiles at helicopters, which was a feat I didn't think could be topped, until they used a running motorcycle to take one down.


Random thoughts (because I, have no where else to put them):

• Hey remember that scene in Conan where Arnold randomly punched out a camel? How about a scene where Dolph Lundgren randomly throws a chicken? Because that happened.
• Chuck Norris shows up, saves the crew AND manages to drop off a "Chuck Norris Fact" along the way. 
• Chuck Norris in this film for about 10 minutes total.
  
• I really do like VanDamme as a villain.
  The gun that Terry Crews used is ridiculous and I'm glad they brought it back from past one.
  
• I'm surprised they wrote out Jet Li so quickly, but i guess you don't need two Chinese characters on the team. 
• There are two dope kills in this film: A Helicopter decapitation and roundhouse knife to the heart.
  
• The climactic battle between Stallone and Van Damme is something we've been clamoring for hypothetically for years and it wasn't disappointing.
  

Expendables 2 is just an excuse to fuck shit up but with more stars of the older generation. It's a reason to show that they've still got it. I can't argue with that, but the slow dramatic scenes are behind them. Aint nobody got time for that.

Out of Ten? 7.5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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5 Scenes from...

John Woo has directed some of the most stylish action flicks in existence. You may not know his name, but you are definitely familiar with his work.


Here are five of his best scenes:

Face/Off (1997) - An FBI agent and a terrorist, assume the physical appearance of one another.

Red Cliff (2008) - A Story centered on a battle fought in China's Three Kingdoms period (220-280 A.D.).

Hard Boiled (1992) - A tough-ass cop teams with an undercover agent to shut down a mob crew.

The Killer (1989) - A disillusioned assassin accepts one last hit, only to be double-crossed by his boss.

 

Hard Target (1993) - Van Damme stars as a homeless Cajun who helps a woman track down her father.

 

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Yakuza Weapon (2011)

Minus two limbs after his first showdown with a Yakuza chief, Shozo is remade into a machine-gun-armed, rocket-launcher-legged vengeance machine. Now the kingpin and his men are the targets of a psychotic who's made of more firepower than they carry.

 Guns, swords, chivalry and loyalty are the ways of the Yazuka. Feeling that those are outdated, one man, Kurawaki, disposes of the old chief and assumes command. He believes that business and drug distribution is the new way to go and it is his goal to unite the families under his control. Upon hearing that his father has been slain, Shozo, a young and fearless man, returns to Japan intent on revenge and proving that he is the toughest of all the Yakuza. After their first battle, Shozo is left missing both his right arm and his left leg. After being patched up and given cybernetic weapon enhancements, he sets out to take down Kurawaki once and for all. What he doesn't know is that Kurawaki has also been enhanced and he now commands an army of drug fueled supporters.

She can shoot rockets from her vadge. That's right folks, Vagina Cannon!

Yakuza Weapon is a Japanese grindhouse movie. That means gore, comedy, and cyber/human weapons. There's machine gun arms, Cock Rockets and a freaking Vagina Cannon! This film basks in its ridiculousness while still telling a decent story. It isn't the type of film that you'd watch if you were looking for serious action, but it is still entertaining.

Out of Ten? 6.5

Violence? Yes

Explosions? Yes

Nudity? Vagina Cannon

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Saving Private Perez (2011)

Despite his ruthless reputation, the most notorious drug lord in Mexico has one soft spot -- his mother -- and when she orders him to invade Iraq to rescue his little brother, he assembles a squad of oddball hombres to fulfill his suicidal mission.

Julian Perez is the most dangerous, most feared and most powerful drug lord in Mexico. When he goes to visit his mom in the hospital, she tells him that his brother has joined the US Army, and is now missing in action since his plane was shot down over Iraq. She also tells him that if he wants to make amends to her, he would go to there and bring his brother home alive. Perez then assembles a team of four capable men to travel and help him with this task. His first question, "Where the hell is Iraq?"

Upon first hearing the title, Saving Private Perez sounds like it should be a comedy, but instead it takes itself seriously as an action adventure film with a little comedy sprinkled in. There's clear movement from A to B with no filler and yet It seemed like they weren't quite sure which direction to go, so they added a bit of everything, it didn't help, but it didn't hurt either.

I went in with no expectations, but it turned out to be a bit better than I would have given it credit for.

Out of Ten? 6.5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Clash - 2009

Trinh codename Phoenix, a female mob enforcer, must complete a series of organized crime jobs for her boss Hac Long in order to win the release of her kidnapped daughter. She hires several mercenaries to help, including Quan dubbed Tiger, who she becomes attracted to. Trinh and Quan's relationship becomes complicated as it becomes evident that their motivations are not the same.

Vietnamese big budget action flick.
At the behest of the big boss, A woman assembles a group of mercenaries to complete an arms deal. One of the guys is recognized and they have to fight for their lives to escape. After being betrayed by one of their own on another mission, the two remaining members try to track him down and retrieve the stolen merchandise and extract a measure of revenge. By the time they catch up to him, their motivations for doing so are radically different.

There's nothing special about this flick. Clash is basically about shootouts and Muy Thai. The big boss is actually quite a badass and when he finally shows that side, it's a thing of beauty.

 Overall though, I can say I've seen better.

Out of Ten? 5.5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Peek-A-Boob.

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