Dragonball: Battle of Gods (2014)

As in every DBZ feature, the Earth is either threatened or under attack and Goku sets out to save us. This time, our villain is Beerus, the God of Destruction. Awakened from a 39yr slumber, he seeks out a fight with a Super Sayan God. Not finding a worthy challenge among the remaining Sayans, and after defeating ALL of the Z-Fighters, he decides to destroy Earth. Goku, champion fighter and savior of Earth, learns that in order to have the strength to challenge pyrrus he must become a god himself. 

Goku vs Beerus is one of the best fights they have animated. Not because of the action, but because of the story development. Goku's been humbled by a stronger fighter and realizes that he cannot win without using power borrowed from his friends, and he hates every minute, lamenting that the God form is something that he'll never be able to achieve on his own. He's vulnerable. I can't remember the last time that's happened.

Anyway, I had been looking forward to watching this flick ever since it was announced and admittedly, I could be biased by nostalgia, but I feel that Battle of Gods Lived up to its hype. I thoroughly enjoyed all of it. The humor, the fights all the references and cameos. All of it. It also summed up the events of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z so that new viewers could jump right into this story.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Justice League: War (2014)

Justice League: War is the fourth Justice League feature film following Crisis on Two Earths, Doom and The Flashpoint Paradox. Once again, The Warner Animation team has knocked it out of the park.

War is essentially a Justice League origin film. 5 super powered beings, a teen who feel into the gig and Batman don't know each other but stand together when the Earth is threatened by God-King Darkseid and his legions of space beasts.

Besides the comedy pairing of Batman and Green Lantern (who thinks Bats is a vampire) and the violence and swearing, my favorite part of the film was the cockyness and arrogance of  Superman. Gone was the boy scout and in his place was a bad ass Superman who is fully aware of his powers and is quick to put people down. Even Batman

Dope

And did I mention the swearing? Hell, damn, ass, boobs, swearing. I keep saying that each of these films have progressively gotten darker and more adult and War is no exception. Although there are a ton of comedic moments, don't mistake that this movie isn't for little kids.

The "Batman is a Dick" line of the film:

Surprisingly, Batman was the most level headed character in this film. I'm sure he said something dickish, but it wasn't anything that stood out compared to the other films. 

One of the other things they had going was the running gag that Batman wasn't real:

  

Green Lantern: Flash, my man! Good to see you. I'm here with *mumbles* Batman.
Flash: What? Batman? He's real?!
Lantern: Yeah he's...right over there.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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G.I. Joe Resolute (2009)

Listen, I'm fairly certain that I've written about this masterpiece once before but if not, here goes:

G.I. Joe Resolute is just about the best G.I.Joe film/resurrection the property has ever seen. Yes, even better than Retaliation. 

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Crowe, no. They took another beloved children's toon and ruined it, chasing dollars." No. Actually they took a beloved children's cartoon and turned it into something it should have been all along: a team of commandos, taking out a team of ruthless terrorists by any means necessary.

Doubt me?  Here's are a few reasons I gave it that star total below:

• Look at that fucking poster. That doesn't sell you?
• It was aired on the cartoon fucking network and wasn't TV Y-7
• They explained away the cobra commander's uselessness and made him into a complete badass at the same damn time.
• Snake eyes 
• Motherfucking Snake Eyes
• There's a red and blue laser reference with comments on how no one can shoot
• Motherfuckers actually die. Like for real.
• The Joes are almost as ruthless as  Cobra
• The Baroness. Say what you will about Lady Jaye, but the Baroness is where it was at. Jet black hair, glasses, an accent? *wait, uh, are anyone else's pants getting tighter art this moment?* anyway she was the type of girl you could not bring home to mama and she knew it.
• It didn't have The RZA teaching Snake Eyes (or Storm Shadow) Kung fucking Fu.

I stand by what I've said above, despite the lack of Dwayne Johnson, Resolute was better than Retaliation.

In retrospect, I think Retaliation took a few of their cues from Resolute. At the least, I doubt these three things are Coincidental:

• Cobra Commander being a ruthless bad ass
• The inclusion of Road block
• The inclusion of Firefly
• The destruction of a whole country 

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Recess: Taking the Fifth Grade(2003)

Fans of the Recess gang can follow along as the kids graduate from the fourth grade to the fifth, all while learning about friendship and growing up.

Recess: Taking The Fifth Grade is a movie containing three interconnected stories, starring the cast of one of the greatest animated series of all time. The common thread being friendship, humility, and being a kid in a world where adults have long forgotten how.

In Story One:

The kids come back to school as fifth graders, excited to take on the world.
Much to their dismay, they discover that for some odd reason, The Board of Education has decided that irrational changes were necessary and those changes included removing their favorite teacher, replacing their lockers with motivational posters, replacing their lunch with "nutritious paste" and heartbreakingly, ending recess.

Fed up with the bullshit, T.J. decides he will take no more and barricades himself in his room, declaring that he will no longer go to school out of protest of the changes. His protest soon gains traction with the rest of the school and eventually the adults come to their senses and see the error of their ways.

In Story Two:

Now playground heroes, T.J. and the gang are requested to meet with King Fred, the new Big Chief, who inducts  them into the super secret fifth and sixth grade club, a place where ALL of the fifth and sixth graders can relax and shit on the stupid kids that are younger than them. 

Finally feeling accepted, they nearly lose Gus and Mikey to gluttony, temptation and ignorance, but TJ, Gretchen, Vince and Spinelli manage to snap them out of it by reminding them they are good people, who are in danger of losing their way.

In Story Three:

It's Halloween, and Spinelli, who is usually the biggest Halloween nut, suddenly feels that she's too old for Halloween, and her cynicism begins to ruin it for the gang. When she gets her spirit back, she sets out to right her wrongs and prove that you're never too old for Halloween

Recess was a great show. I think it cracks my top ten, definitely top 20 at least. But one thing bugs me about this film, maybe it's because I'm watching it now, but the voices don't sound the same. Like something feels/sounds off. It's not a huge deal, but still, it's distracting.

Violence? No
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013)

Picking up where the first film ended, Flynt has saved the town and has finally earned the respect of his peers. But what he seeks now is the respect of,  xxx, master inventor and the guy who made flynt into who he is today.

Volunteering to clean up the town, xxx, offers Flynn a job and relocates the town's entire population. After running into trouble with the island, he seeks Flynn's help in locating the machine that started it all. Once flynt returns to the island, he finds that although the food has evolved into foodimals, they aren't the only threat to his existence.

If you watched and enjoyed the first Cloudy film, you'll enjoy this one as well. It's more or less the same, but with "higher stakes," and foodimals within a Jurassic Park vibe. All of the familiar characters return and we're introduced to xxx, who's portrayed as a Steve Jobs' type inventor but is in reality a corporate villain.

Kinda like Steve Jobs actually...

Anyway, watch it.

 

Violence? No
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United (2014)

 

The Cast: 

• The Hulk - Big. Green. Hungry
• Iron Man - Super Rich, Super Smart, Super Arrogant Mech Pilot
• The Abomination - Hulk like mercenary 
• Hydra - Evil Scientists and Arms Dealers
• Thundarberg - Evil villain made of pure energy. 

The Situation: 

Evil villains want to use the hulk's power for their own ends. Realizing that he may be uncontrollable, they've decided to hire the abomination in order to bring him in. After a brief tussle, The Abomination brings the defeated Hulk to the hydra labs where they aim to use his gamma power top fuel their arc reactor.

Underestimating the Hulk's radiation levels, their machines overload and create a living energy weapon who seeks to destroy the world and drink all of it's energy. Aware of an immdiate power outage, Iron Man shows up to investigate and eventually teams up with Hulk (after fighting him of course) to stop the monster and save the world. 

--------------------------------------------------

Things you should know going into this dreck:

• The Hulk can talk and think like an intelligent human being.
• The animation is like a mix of 3D, cell shading and CG. It actually looks pretty bad.
• Tony Stark is still a dick, but he just so happens to be training with his new Hulk Buster armor when all of this goes down.

Marvel has really shit the bed with this one and I hope they come correct with the Captain America/Thor Version. This movie absolutely blows. The story is crappy, the animation is crappy  and it's over an hr long. It's flat out terrible.

 
Violence? Animated
Explosions? Didn't I say it started with a fight between Hulk and Abomination?
Nudity? Only in Tony's Mind. 

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Despicable Me 2 (2013)

The Greatest, meanest super villain has had an official change of heart after adopting three girls in the last film. Yes, you've read that right, Gru and his minions are now good guys and we start the film at the Princess party he's throwing for Agnes' birthday.

The Cast:

• Gru villain turned hero 
• His secret agent partner 
• The kids
• El Macho, the Manliest super villain ever
• Pollito the guard chicken
• The minions, including Kevin Dave and Tim

The Situation:

The League of Anti Villains have recruited Gru to help them save the world as a secret high tech lab has gone missing and with it, a top secret serum that could have disastrous effects if left in the wrong hands.

Unbeknownst to Gru, his minions have also gone missing. Is it connected? You'll have to watch to find out.

The Resolution:

The villain is found, the world is saved and true love exists. This you already knew. The fun is in getting there.

////////////////////////

Despicable Me 2 is actually a pretty fun movie. Obviously not as good as the first, but definitely a worthy sequel. There are call backs to the first film and it doesn't stray from the universe it created. That makes it feel like more like a direct sequel than a related cash grab. (Like the standalone Minion movies)

Speaking of which, The minions are again consistently one of the best parts of the film. Stealing nearly every scene they are in, speaking their weird blend of Spanish, Korean, French and Italian.

Again, it was pretty good. Watch it. I laughed a lot and enjoyed it and in the end, that's all that matters.

Violence? Animated
Explosions? Of Volcanic proportions
Nudity? There is Minion ass if you're into that sort of thing. No judgments though.

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Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

 

The most delicious event since macaroni met cheese. Inspired by the beloved children's book, the film focuses on a town where food falls from the sky like rain.

 
The Cast:

• Flynt
• Flynts Dad
• Officer Mr T
• Perky young reporter
• The town of Swallow Falls aka Chew and Swallow

Every since he was a child flynt has always wanted to be a scientist and have people like him. After the town is destroyed when the local sardine economy collapses, Flynt invents a machine with the intention to turn water into food, thus saving the town from sardines.

He pretty much destroys the town, in his efforts, but the machine works. The problem is that it is eventually over worked and the food begins to mutate.  Soon the entire town is threatened with food related destruction and In an effort to save the world, Flynt and co travel to the satellite to shut it down.  They find that it now resides inside a giant meatball, filed with live foods and there, humans are at the bottom of the food chain.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is an awesome movie.It's an awkward comedy that's essentially about a man who means to do well and gain everyone's respect, but ultimately fails spectacularly before finding his own self worth and/or saving the world. In between all of that are a ton of puns and simple jokes that amuse immature people such as myself.

                                                                                                              Stray Quotage:

"I wanted to run away that day. But you can't run away from your own feet."

"You've seen a meteor shower, but you've never seen a shower meatier than this."

"Who needs the approval of one family member when you can get it from a whole town of acquaintances?"

"What is that, a scrunchie? I haven't seen one of those since 1995"

Violence? Animated
Explosions? Of fruits and vegetables and non nutritious stuff
Nudity? Seriously?! Have a little decency perv!

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Iron Man: Rise of Technovore (2013)

The Cast:

• Tony Stark/Iron Man
• James Rhodes/War Machine
• Shield - Nick fury, Maria Hill, Hawkeye and Black Widow
• Bad Guys

The Situation:

The Howard Satellite, which was created by Tony Stark, is about to be launched. It's technology will allow SHIELD to monitor the full range of human activity all over the planet, with the intention of stopping crime before it happens.

On the day of the launch, a an armored group calling themselves The Raiders attack and try to delay the launch. They claim that their boss is a lot more technologically advanced than Tony Stark will ever be and Tony races off to confront him.

The bad guy is revealed to be Ezekiel Stane, son of Obadiah, one of Tony's first enemies. He calls himself, the future and says that people who place their faith in high technology deserve to die. His goal is to teach humanity a lesson about relying on technology and placing it on an altar. He aims to liberate people from technology by destroying their reliance on it. He also believes that Tony Stark is old technology and his is the new technology that will replace it.

[He also believes in sending mixed messages]

The Resolution: 

Iron Man saves the day. 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Stray Quotage:

Stane: Technology and the people who give birth to it are nothing more than false idols leading society to disaster.

Tony: I'll make it up to you. How about I buy you a villa, with a whole support staff?
Pepper: You already bought me that last time you took my vacation.
Tony: Okay, I'll buy you a whole island then. I need your help.

Tony: I've worked with some shady people in the past

The Punisher: This has nothing to do with some rich idiot who dresses like a hot rod.

Tony: Don't do it, Frank. They're just following orders.
The Punisher: Don't worry, they don't need their kneecaps to breathe!

The Punisher: Next time Stark asks for help, I'm gonna put a bullet in him."

   

Rise of Technovore as a whole is kinda dull, but the cameos from the other marvel characters make up for a lot. The Punisher, in particular, is hilarious. The bad guy is Ezekiel Stane, Obadiah Stanes son and in case you forgot who he was, there's a quick flashback to Stane's death in the Iron Man movie.

Now that we got the decent stuff out of the way, let me get to why this only gets two stars:

1) Tony Stark calling this kid "boy" for their anti-climactic face off was kind uncomfortable. Seriously.

2) Nick Fury wastes tons of bots and manpower trying to bring in Tony Stark. Even going as far as to order them to shoot to kill. Which has to be the dumbest thing ever. Logically, if you want him because he's your prime witness or suspect, what would killing him accomplish? Also, he sells you your tech. You don't think he can defeat it? Thirdly, you're friends. Maybe you should just follow him at a distance? Clearly he knows a bit more than he lets on. Fourth: "There's something I've been trying to tell him, but he's blocking all communications" Well, honestly Nick, why do you suppose that is?

The guy they got to voice Nick Fury sounds a good deal like Sam Jackson. It's not 100% match. But enough that I'd allow it.

3) "He's planning on wiping out every living thing on this planet." But that's the thing. If I understand whatever it is this movie had been saying, It's that he wants to eliminate all of the old technology. The people were just bonuses. Then they just kinda shifted the film to fit that narrative. Ridiculous. Also, just wtf is a Technovore? That's never really clearly defined, other than its a threat to existence. [Which it wasn't when the film started.] "Hey look kids, Iron Man!" Pfft. I guess that's enough.

Sidenote: I just want to point out that they lose the helicarrier in this movie and by my count that's maybe the third or fourth one they've lost in general. Get your shit together SHIELD!

Violence? Yes

Explosions? Yes

Nudity? No

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Tekken the Animated Movie (1997)

A wealthy mogul organizes a world fighting tournament on an offshore Chinese island. His hated son in search for vengeance and a pair of cops investigating the real reason for holding the tournament, secretly join the fighters.

A young woman, Jun Kazama, is sent to the The king of fighters tournament in order to  investigate Heihachi Mishima. Mishima is the sponsor of the tournament, and offers the winner 1 billion dollars if they can defeat him. Her plan is to use the contest as a cover to investigate him and his company's genetic misdeeds.

 

 Catching tomahawks with his teeth?!

 
In a flashback, we learn that because he believed that his son, Kazima, was weak, Heihachi Mishima, tossed him off a mountain. Claiming that he'd raise him if he could climb back out. His logic was that by throwing him into the canyon, it would piss him off so much so that he'd come back possessed by the demon and bring about the destruction of earth. Kinda like Sodom and Gomorrah, but without all the buttsex.

As Kazima puts it, he got out by selling his soul to the devil for revenge and will not rest until he has it. He's renounced all ties to the family and enters the tournament intending to kill his father. Heihachi expects him to win and when they face off, he gives him the 2 piece combo, extra spicy. Kazima looks like burger meat, but manages to taps into the negative energy and destroy him. When that power threatens to consume him, he's saved from his hatred by Jun and ultimately, the world is saved.

I'm admittedly not that familiar with the tekken universe, but am I supposed to turn down an anime based on a popular fighting game? Pfft. Plus there's blood, nudity and a boxing kangaroo! This movie is dope. It has everything. Including a cameo from Maximillion Pegasus, who for some reason out to kill Kazima and take over the family business.

 

Pegasus? What are you doing here? Hiding from Yu-Gi-Oh?.

Stray Quotage:

"Why are you so upset? Is it because your father threw you off that cliff?!"

      -Hilarious. I'm totally stealing that.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Surprisingly, yes.

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Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (2013)

The Reverse Flash aka Zoom, sets up a plan to erase the Flash and blow him up along with his museum, and a few blocks of the city. He straps bombs to himself, Flash and each of his Rogues, but the Justice League (yes, even Aquaman) shows up and helps to disarm them. The next morning, Barry Allen wakes up to a world where his mother is alive. He learns that in this world, he's powerless, the Flash doesn't exist and Aquaman and Atlantis are at war with Wonder Woman and the Amazons and that war threatens to destroy humanity. 

Apparently, Aquaman was laying down some Aqua Lovin to Wonder Woman, showing her how it's done under the sea.  Fishy Style. His wife took offense and lost her head. Wonder Woman took her crown next and war was soon declared.

Flash discovers that at some point he has traveled through time and changed something which has completely altered the timeline. With that in mind, he works together with Batman and Cyborg to first find Superman, then to stop the war and find a way to travel backwards through time to fix whatever happened to the time stream.

While Flash is out saving the world, Zoom finds the time to sit back and enjoy a nice cup of coffee.

The Flashpoint Paradox is a quick and dirty movie featuring caneos from many of DC comics famous characters. Including Luthor, deathstroke, Cyborg, clayface and even Etrigan makes an appearance. Actual killing occurs and Aquaman finally gets his due as a bad ass character (Too bad for him it's in an alternate universe. Womp Wamp.)

Believe me when I say that Flashpoint is good. Damn good. It was just as good as Doom and I was definitely digging the animation and cool visual effects and super excited that there's finally a DC movie that has some blood death and destruction. It's like when animated movies aren't about Superman, they can get so much darker. There was a fucking decapitation! Shit was real. 

Sometimes just the idea of Superman can be a detriment to the brand and it sucks that they had to go to a different timeline to do a darker story, but I like it. One thing I learned from this film though, is that it doesn't matter which universe he's in, Batman will always be a goddamn bad ass.

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Green Lantern: Emerald Knights (2011)

 

As the home planet of the Green Lantern Corps faces a battle with an ancient enemy, Hal Jordan prepares new recruit Arisia for the coming conflict by relating stories of the first Green Lantern and several of Hal's comrades.

The energy being known as Krona has unleashed shadow demons upon the universe. For some odd reason he wants to destroy the universe with anti matter. The guardians have taken precautions to save their history and order the lanterns to look into the rift that they came from.

Emerald Knights is essentially an anthology of stories that attempt to shed some light on the history of the Green Lanterns and a few of the more important members of the Corp. The not so subtle goal of the film is to essentially spell out what it means to be a part of the Lantern Corps. They do this by telling these stories to a new recruit, Arisia. An energy being, long ago banished by the the Lanterns, tears a whole in the sun and intends to come through. Their home planet OA is evacuated and these stories are told while they are on guard duty and trying to contain the breach.

Looks like she just had a breach in her pants.

 

From the DC animated studios comes a second movie about The Green Lantern. Including the main, there are six different stories and they all feature a lot of action and information. But I couldn't help feeling that this was  more informational than helpful towards the Green Lantern franchise. The bulk of people buying this are already fans and know the history. Don't get me wrong, I liked Emerald Knights, but I kinda wanted a full length lantern movie, not six short stories.  Whatever, I guess.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Street Fighter IV: The Ties That Bind (2009)

 

Some of the best fighters in the world have gone missing. Guile and Chun-Li, Interpol officers, have taken up the case, believing Bison and his shadow organization, Shadowloo, are the culprits. Along with Cammy and the British Special Forces, they discover that Ryu is the centerpiece of a plan to create a new biological weapon using humans as explosive devices and set out to reach him before the bad guys. 

Seth, evil corporate mastermind, has been kidnapping and experimenting on fighters because they are masters of Ki, yet Ryu is his Holy Grail as he believes his experiment/weapon cannot be complete without the dark power he keeps inside.

  Mmmm, sweet delicious evil...

All roads leads to Ryu, who has been wandering the globe, fighting off the Dark Ki and searching for his life's purpose. He eventually comes across C.Viper, who has been assigned to track him down and she baits him into using the Dark Ki by kicking the shit out of Cammy. She quickly splits when she realizes she's about to die, leaving Ken and Sakura to clean up the mess. The final battle takes place aboard a yacht, with Ryu taking on Seth while attempting to keep his Dark Ki in check. 

Hulking out

Street Fighter IV is a quick and dirty, action filled movie. It had been a while since the last street fighter film and while I don't love it, I did enjoy it. My only real gripe is that for a movie with the characters from SSF IV, the only new character was C.Viper. That was kinda weak. But it really was a quick film, no cliffhangers or bullshit.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Dragon Ball: Yo! Son Goku and His Friends Return (2008)

The world, having mistakenly believed that Mr.Satan defeated Buu, celebrates his existence and adores him. He's opened a hotel downtown and has invited the Z-Fighters to attend.

At the gathering, two Saiyan ships arrive,  one carrying Vegeta's brother Tarble. He seeks Vegeta's help as their home planet is being terrorized and he's being chased by two of the villains. The team cannot wait to test their strength and they soon draw radishes (yes radishes) to see who will be the first to fight. Trunks gets first dibs, but Goku sends Goten to help him out.

The space villains are defeated after some theatrics and the hotel is destroyed in the process. There's still food left so everyone sits back down to eat and it's  just another day for the Z fighters.

Son Goku and Friends Return, is a pretty solid, pretty standard Dragon Ball flick. The Earth is threatened, the Z-Fighters give them the business, everyone goes home happy. Goten and Trunks are hilarious and they use fusion, which is dope.

Goten + Trunks = Gotenks

The Dragon Ball series itself is awesome. (Until GT. GT sucked) It's easy to get into, there's a lot of action and there's comedy to fill the void. Plus there's a lesson in there about being a good person or whatever. (You can find it if you dig.) Also, I don't know one kid who watched DBZ and didn't think he was or wanted to be Goku (or Vegeta) at some point.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Space Jam (1996)

Michael Jordan agrees to help the Looney Toons play a basketball game vs. alien slavers to determine their freedom.

After the Toons are challenged to a high stakes basketball game, the villainous Swackhammer, creates a team of ringers and steals the talent of several NBA players, ensuring his teams victory. So what do the looney tunes do? Kidnap Michael Jordan and get him to play with their squad. (duh!) Reluctant at first, he agrees when he realizes that he's the greatest player and he gets to spread his dominance all over the faces of the Monstars (especially since they were actual NBA talents and he gets off on that.) So what happens towards the end? Jordan is Jordan, wins the game in the clutch and becomes a goddamn toon in the process! Dude was a beast!

All Star Squad!!!!

• Space Jam had done what no other movie could at the time; combining the talents of three different assholes, finding a medium and adding music to create a fantastic experience.


• Michael Jordan - Hands down one of the greatest NBA players ever and no so secret asshole.


• Bill Murray- one of the greatest comedians and not so secret party crasher/sarcastic asshole.


• The Looney Tunes - great animated Comedy Team, headed by Bugs Bunny one of the most recognizable and sarcastic asshole characters in existence
• Basketball - the only sport that goes hand in hand with Michael Jordan. You could do a AA baseball movie, but fuck you, Hitler. Let's not remember that bullshit.


• The Quad. City. DJs. - have you ever rode the train?! The Muthafuckin' choo-choo train?!!

There was no way this movie could not be awesome. Failure was not an option. True, the Toon Squad had to cover for Jordan's acting inexperience but he covered for their lack of b-ball skills. Bill Murray on the other hand, took the the role of player/coach/one liner King. He was just happy to be there. Unsurprisingly, Daffy was jealous, but he stayed in his lane.

Overall, The Toon Squad did their thing. Bugs was distracted by Lola, but he managed to get his head in the game (first), and help in the victory. Plus, Bugs rapped over and killed a track. Idk how he convinced Jordan not to spit a quick 16, but he's a sarcastic winner/beat killer who also courted Jordan and is one of the most recognizable toons? You just know he got that victory bunny later.

There's also the Monstars Anthem, which as you know, is dope, but The Monstars were the bad guys. Smh.

Bugs Bunny Kills A Track:

The Monstars' Anthem:

The Space Jam: 

Violence? No
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Bleach: Hell Verse (2010)

"Hell" is the place where a person is sent to who committed violent crimes when they were alive. Shinigami are forbidden to go there. One day prisoners revolt and make their escape to Karakura - the real world - where Ichigo and his friends live. Ichigo and his friends are defeated one after the other by prisoners with overwhelming power. A mysterious man appears who comes to their rescue. With Kokutou leading the way Ichigo, Rukia, Uryuu, and Renji march into Hell to save the world.

4 mysterious figures appear in karakura town and try to capture ichigos attention by taking his sisters. They claim to be trapped in Hell and will return them once he breaks down the doors so they can escape. Another figure from Hell appears and offers to help in his quest. In exchange, he asks ichigo to help him break the chains which bind him.

Bleach is a fairly simple anime to get into and the movies are all entertaining. Best part is that you don't need to follow the series to get into the films. They are pretty straightforward. I hadn't seen a bleach movie or even watched the series in a while, but I still remember the characters like I never left. Plus it had been a while since I've heard the "Number One" song. It's a good song and I'm happy to have it back in my life.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Hellboy: Blood and Iron

In 1939, young Professor Bruttenholm destroyed Erzsebet Ondrushko, a female vampire who bathed in the blood of innocents to stay young. Now someone in upstate New York is trying to bring her back, and the elderly Professor Broom has decided to investigate it himself. He takes the top BPRD agents, Hellboy, Liz Sherman and Abe Sapien, who are more worried about his welfare than the return of any vampire.

I'm a fan of the Hellboy movies and I'm thrilled that this movie has the original cast, but for some reason, this film completely bored me. I had trouble staying awake. Had I known it would be that bad, I would have had a drink and live blogged it for my own amusement. But knowing me, I would have just got bored halfway through and quit.


I've already written more than I wanted to.

I'm done.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Sword of the Stranger (2007)

A nameless ronin stumbles upon a young boy by the name of Kotaro, his dog and the many Chinese assassins dispatched to claim the boy in some strange ritual for immorality.

Wandering Swordsman Nameless, is hired by a young boy, Kotoro, to provide safe passage for him and his dog to another temple within Japan. He is wanted by the Chinese as they believe his blood is the final ingredient in their immorality potion. The three bond along the way and Nameless faces off with the fearsome blonde haired blue eyed General of the Chinese army.

The story drags a bit but stays coherent and the action is right on the money. I love anime swordsman movies when shit gets super real. I haven't seen one like this since Ninja Scroll. For so long I've been asking, "where's the violence? Where's the bloodspray?" Well it's been right here the whole time. Even the dog gets in some shots.

Sword of the Stranger is a solid movie full of action, with a coherent story and decent characters. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it would have scored higher if the Chinese speaking parts were translated.

Violence? And how.
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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