Heckler (2007)

This offbeat documentary starring comedian Jamie Kennedy explores the often contentious relationship between the stand-up performers onstage and the vocal critics in the audience.

Jamie Kennedy, -butthurt over bad reviews and what he feels are personal attacks- talks to his critics and hecklers specifically to discover exactly why they are so negative. Included in the film are psychologists and doctors, journalists, comics, directors and actors who are all trying to explain the Mindset and effect of a critic or heckler.

 Deep Roy, the Indian actor (shut up, you know him) tells Kennedy to nut up. Bad reviews happen and he's wealthy enough to suck it up. 

Heckler is also an excuse for a section of the entertainment industry to lash out at the people who lash out at them. There are a few funny scenes when Jamie goes face to face with his critics and doesn't get the results he wants as they defend their arguments. (With valid logical points!)
Some of his critics really are assholes though and their reviews really do dig deep. For example:
There's a moment where Paris Hilton is read a quote (to her face) which states, "Paris Hilton is just an oversized human condom. Paris is like a fart in a mitten. You know it's there, you can't stand it, you can't get rid of it."

Hilarious. But they all say that in that business you have to have a thick skin, and at the same time, you have to care what people say to be good at your job.

Criticism does affect celebrities. Even if they are solely famous for fucking and sucking on camera-- even though that profession has been around for years and those professionals still struggle to get respect!-- They are still people! Leave Britney Alone!!!

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? One heckler eats a guitar
Explosions? Anger
Nudity? There's Surprise Titty.

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Supernatural [TV Series] (2005)

Raised by their dad to fight supernatural forces, grown siblings Dean and Sam crisscross the country in their 1967 Chevy Impala, investigating paranormal activity and picking fights with deadly demons, ghosts and monsters.

Sam and Dean Winchester are brothers who hunt the things "that go bump in the night." Throughout the series they battle demons, angels, werewolves, Djinn and anything else apart of monster or religious mythology all while making angsty comments and pop culture references.

I slept on this show. Found it on Netflix and I've been hooked ever since. I find it has the right mixture of action, scifi, pop culture, snark, and supernatural elements. Plus the show isn't afraid to occasionally poke fun at itself or its fans.

Honestly, There were a few seasons that I felt moved slowly or included a lot of filler. Part of that was because of the writers strike, some of it was because the show was renewed at the last minute. Overall though, it's a good series and presents itself better than a few other monster hunting TV shows. (* cough*Grimm *cough cough*)

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2010)

As a child Jack Brooks witnessed the brutal murder of his family. Now a young man he struggles with a pestering girlfriend, therapy sessions that resolve nothing, and night classes that barely hold his interest. After unleashing an ancient curse, Jack's Professor undergoes a transformation into something not-quite- human, and Jack is forced to confront some old demons... along with a few new ones.

Robert Englund hams it up on screen as the professor/ lead monster. (Hookers and blow ain't cheap)

The knock on this film: Despite the opening scene, no real action scenes occur until the end so I can see people losing interest. It feels longer than it is because they spent so much time setting up the characters and plot. If you come into this film expecting immediate monster smashing, you'll be disappointed. However, if you came into it expecting an old school action comedy monster jam, you may leave pleasantly surprised. And if you look at the film as an origin story, you'll understand why it's a cult favorite.

Jack Brooks is not the best, but definitely worth a watch if you're into the genre.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - 2006

The next great psycho horror slasher has given a documentary crew exclusive access to his life as he plans his reign of terror over the sleepy town of Glen Echo, all the while deconstructing the conventions and archetypes of the horror genre for them.

Behind the Mask is one of the best horror movies that you've never seen.

The Rise of Leslie Vernon begins as a pseudo documentary chronicling a man named Leslie Vernon and his desire to become a supernatural serial killer.  Through the documantary you'll learn all about Leslie and the preparations necessary to become the next Voorhees, Myers, or Kruger, because they are his heroes.

The movie continues in the documentary fashion until Leslie's big night. Once his plan begins, the perspective sifts into a traditional horror flick and that made a good film, even better.

Sitting Ducks.

I'm not going to be one of those "this movie re-invents the genre" people, because fuck them. This movie did deconstruct the horror genre though. But it did it while paying homage to a good amount of the films that came before it. As one point, Leslie even explains that he needs to concentrate on cardio because "those kids are running at full speed and we have to make it look like we're walking." To me, it's the little touches like that made this movie. Leslie's plan was crafted down to the finest detail, and I was filled with excitement when the full scope of his plan was revealed.

Behind the mask is a solid flick. Horrorphiles, you will love this movie. People who don't watch a lot of horror flicks, but are familiar with the tropes of the genre, you will love this movie. Everyone else? Fuck you. Watch this movie.

Oh, and did I mention that Robert Englund is in this film? Because he is. Hookers and Blow don't pay for themselves.

I went into this expecting a turd. This movie is dope. I will gladly look past his mask. 

Violence? Dude is an aspiring serial killer. With a very well thought out plan. When shit gets real, it gets real.
Explosions? No.
Nudity? Yes. Blatantly Gratuitous, because what would a horror movie be without titty?

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Zombie Strippers - 2008

Two of my favorite things, nearly ruined forever.

In the not too distant future a secret government re-animation chemo-virus gets released into conservative Sartre, Nebraska and lands in an underground strip club. As the virus begins to spread, turning the strippers into "Super Zombie Strippers" the girls struggle with whether or not to conform to the new "fad" even if it means there's no turning back. - IMDB 

I remember sitting down to watch this flick..and I remember quickly skipping through it, because it was flat out terrible. I mean, watching Mind of Mencia followed by Dane Cook's Tourgasm, on repeat, may have been more entertaining. I couldn't bring myself to waste life on this movie. Maybe with friends and a lot of liquor this could be enjoyable? We'll see...I think I'll need a lot of liquor.

Moving on, but unfortunately related, this movie also stars Robert Englund.  I'm developing a theory: Robert Englund must owe someone some money. Either that or he has an expensive habit. Why else would he lend himself to this bullshit? Someone is either holding his family hostage, or they own a good amount of dirt on him. Or maybe he's lost his mind through the 9 Elm Street movies. I just can't see how anyone could read this script and think it was worth filming. I just can't figure it out. This just goes to show that there are two powerful motivators in Hollywood. Pussy and Money. (Three if you count cocaine.)

Fuck this! Let's kill the producer.

If you're that hard up for strippers, or zombies, check it out. But don't say that I didn't warn you. 

Out of Ten? 4

Violence? Yes

Explosions? Probably

Nudity? yes. 

Blu-Ray/DVD? Blu-ray offers crystal clear suckage. (I guess I mean that literally and figuratively.) Still doesn't mean you should buy this flick. 

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Hatchet (2004)

 (via)

When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.

At the beginning this flick, we're treated an opener with Robert England. A Tony Todd appearance adds to the atmosphere as he is generally known for and plays the spooky character well, and Deon Richmond (aka Bud from the Cosby show) doubles as both the token Negro and the comic relief. He made this movie. In some films you need the comic relief and he fucking kills it. The real star however is the being known as Victor Crowley. In this film he is the burly man of legend who ruthlessly destroys anything and anyone foolish enough to cross his path.

Hatchet may be apart of the new breed of slasher flicks. It is strong enough to stand on its own, but a sequel is almost guaranteed. The kills are unique and gory and the comedy adds another layer to this slasher flick. I say watch it alone or with friends but definitely give this one a chance. Whether you're a horror junkie or a casual viewer, you'll have to appreciate what Hatchet brings to the table.

Violence? Fuck yes and how.
Explosions? No.
Nudity? Hatchet takes place during Mardi Gras, so you can expect a titty...or eight.

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