Justice League: War (2014)

Justice League: War is the fourth Justice League feature film following Crisis on Two Earths, Doom and The Flashpoint Paradox. Once again, The Warner Animation team has knocked it out of the park.

War is essentially a Justice League origin film. 5 super powered beings, a teen who feel into the gig and Batman don't know each other but stand together when the Earth is threatened by God-King Darkseid and his legions of space beasts.

Besides the comedy pairing of Batman and Green Lantern (who thinks Bats is a vampire) and the violence and swearing, my favorite part of the film was the cockyness and arrogance of  Superman. Gone was the boy scout and in his place was a bad ass Superman who is fully aware of his powers and is quick to put people down. Even Batman

Dope

And did I mention the swearing? Hell, damn, ass, boobs, swearing. I keep saying that each of these films have progressively gotten darker and more adult and War is no exception. Although there are a ton of comedic moments, don't mistake that this movie isn't for little kids.

The "Batman is a Dick" line of the film:

Surprisingly, Batman was the most level headed character in this film. I'm sure he said something dickish, but it wasn't anything that stood out compared to the other films. 

One of the other things they had going was the running gag that Batman wasn't real:

  

Green Lantern: Flash, my man! Good to see you. I'm here with *mumbles* Batman.
Flash: What? Batman? He's real?!
Lantern: Yeah he's...right over there.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (2013)

The Reverse Flash aka Zoom, sets up a plan to erase the Flash and blow him up along with his museum, and a few blocks of the city. He straps bombs to himself, Flash and each of his Rogues, but the Justice League (yes, even Aquaman) shows up and helps to disarm them. The next morning, Barry Allen wakes up to a world where his mother is alive. He learns that in this world, he's powerless, the Flash doesn't exist and Aquaman and Atlantis are at war with Wonder Woman and the Amazons and that war threatens to destroy humanity. 

Apparently, Aquaman was laying down some Aqua Lovin to Wonder Woman, showing her how it's done under the sea.  Fishy Style. His wife took offense and lost her head. Wonder Woman took her crown next and war was soon declared.

Flash discovers that at some point he has traveled through time and changed something which has completely altered the timeline. With that in mind, he works together with Batman and Cyborg to first find Superman, then to stop the war and find a way to travel backwards through time to fix whatever happened to the time stream.

While Flash is out saving the world, Zoom finds the time to sit back and enjoy a nice cup of coffee.

The Flashpoint Paradox is a quick and dirty movie featuring caneos from many of DC comics famous characters. Including Luthor, deathstroke, Cyborg, clayface and even Etrigan makes an appearance. Actual killing occurs and Aquaman finally gets his due as a bad ass character (Too bad for him it's in an alternate universe. Womp Wamp.)

Believe me when I say that Flashpoint is good. Damn good. It was just as good as Doom and I was definitely digging the animation and cool visual effects and super excited that there's finally a DC movie that has some blood death and destruction. It's like when animated movies aren't about Superman, they can get so much darker. There was a fucking decapitation! Shit was real. 

Sometimes just the idea of Superman can be a detriment to the brand and it sucks that they had to go to a different timeline to do a darker story, but I like it. One thing I learned from this film though, is that it doesn't matter which universe he's in, Batman will always be a goddamn bad ass.

 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Green Lantern: Emerald Knights (2011)

 

As the home planet of the Green Lantern Corps faces a battle with an ancient enemy, Hal Jordan prepares new recruit Arisia for the coming conflict by relating stories of the first Green Lantern and several of Hal's comrades.

The energy being known as Krona has unleashed shadow demons upon the universe. For some odd reason he wants to destroy the universe with anti matter. The guardians have taken precautions to save their history and order the lanterns to look into the rift that they came from.

Emerald Knights is essentially an anthology of stories that attempt to shed some light on the history of the Green Lanterns and a few of the more important members of the Corp. The not so subtle goal of the film is to essentially spell out what it means to be a part of the Lantern Corps. They do this by telling these stories to a new recruit, Arisia. An energy being, long ago banished by the the Lanterns, tears a whole in the sun and intends to come through. Their home planet OA is evacuated and these stories are told while they are on guard duty and trying to contain the breach.

Looks like she just had a breach in her pants.

 

From the DC animated studios comes a second movie about The Green Lantern. Including the main, there are six different stories and they all feature a lot of action and information. But I couldn't help feeling that this was  more informational than helpful towards the Green Lantern franchise. The bulk of people buying this are already fans and know the history. Don't get me wrong, I liked Emerald Knights, but I kinda wanted a full length lantern movie, not six short stories.  Whatever, I guess.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Man of Steel (2013)

A young itinerant worker is forced to confront his secret extraterrestrial heritage when Earth is invaded by members of his race.

Quick Synopsis: 

The Planet Krypton is due to explode. As Jor-El's attempts to warn everyone fall on deaf ears, he makes plans to send his only son off of the planet in a desperate bid to save his life and the spirit of his people. During the chaos, General Zod plans a coup but is quickly put down and shipped off to the Phantom Zone, where Kryptonian prisoners are kept. He is freed after the planet explodes and attempts to track down Jor-El's son, Kal-El as he was also given a device which can resurrect his people. Zod plans to use the device and transform Earth into New Krypton. It's up to Kal-El, now living as Clark Kent, to suit up and defend himself and his home.

Fist Pump for Merica! Fist Pump, for all that is holy!

The Cast:

An all star cast heads up this retelling of the story of Superman. Russell Crowe, Laurence Fishbourne, Kevin Costner all have roles. Mainly as I imagine, to bolster the studios confidence in Zack Snyder and to put more asses in seats.

Russell Crowe was chewing scenery. He was only in the film for like 30 min in total, yet managed to steal the show. I walked away impressed.

I predicted that Kevin Costner would have a small and un-impactful role and that was true in the grand scheme of things. He is influential to the character, but doesn't take away from the film. He even gets a Big Damn Hero moment, which although forced, justifies his existence. Still, Fuck Kevin Costner.

Laurence Fishbourne was Perry White. That is a big change and signifies how serious this movie attempted to be. But it looked like he was furiously trying to hold in a fart every time he was on screen. Must have been all that scenery he was chewing.

Henry Cavill is Fucking. Huge. Dude was not that big in Immortals. They never even showed how he got that big either. Through the numerous flashbacks, one of them could have shown him in the gym at least. He all over there making dudes feel all inadequate and shit.

Super Premium Beef!

There were major and minor tweaks to the Superman mythos were made as they managed to nudge the story into the modern era and somewhere closer to reality, as far as super hero films go. A lot of the back story was told through flashbacks. (Seamlessly I might add.) But I feel like there's like nowhere left for the story to go. I know there will be a sequel, but why? They covered just about his entire story in this flick. I guess Lex Luthor, Darkseid and Doomsday are options, but still. (Hi, part time comic nerd. Nice to meet you!)


Other shit worth pointing out: 

The movie itself has multiple plot holes, two of which are the most blatant: 

If Zod was so intent on keeping Kryptonians alive, why not work beside Superman? Especially after Superman showed him how to adjust and focus his senses. Why kill off all of your people in an unnecessary attempt to terraform the planet? Just because he's a villain, does not mean he has to cut off his nose to spite his face.

If he is weak on Krypton, and those machines are trying to turn Earth into Krypton, wouldn't he grow weak as he got closer to the machines? This was even pointed out by Lois during the film. His response? "Maybe." What actually happened was that Dude developed bronchitis as he got closer to the machines. Even Sweet Brown is like "For Fuck's sake Superman, the world is at stake! Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Oh word? You just gonna pan the camera down and show my feet swinging?! 

Ma Kent gets interrogated by Zod and refuses to give up any info. When she's grabbed up by his lieutenant, she quickly changes her tune once choking gets involved and folds faster than a Korean dry cleaner. Ohh shit, we choking?! What you're looking for is over there!

He goes to work with the same people who he rescued but they don't recognize him because He
hides behind hipster glasses. (That's the one thing I wished they would have changed.)

The End:



Man of Steel has been described as a serious superhero film. I don't disagree. However, I knew from the time it was announced that it would be something I would not rush to see. It is a good superhero movie though and Zack Snyders visuals are amazing. Unlike James Cameron, he can tell a decent story, but I wasn't wowed overall.

 
Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Super Baby Dick

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Superman Unbound (2013)

Superman and Supergirl take on the cybernetic Brainiac, who boasts that he possesses "the knowledge and strength of 10,000 worlds."

I was trying to avoid writing about this film because it really is just average. But I found myself with more free time than I anticipated so here goes:

When one of Brainiacs probes lands on Earth, Superman destroys it and decides to track down it's origin. Against the protests of Supergirl, Superman heads off to fight Brainiac, a half organic half cyber being who travels the universe and collects information on planets before destroying them.
On Brainiac's ship, he finds miniature versions of each planets biggest city with its inhabitants still trapped inside. He is captured before he can free them and during interrogation reveals the existence of Earth, which Brainiac immediately makes plans to destroy.

Superman faces his "biggest task ever" and has to find a way off the ship, save Earth and save/free all of brainiacs trapped victims.

Spoiler Alert: He does. 

Each time I hear of a new Superman film, I expect it to be average but I secretly expect so much more. Superman: Unbound is unfortunately no different. Unlike the rest of the DC Universe, He is a character of high moral values and that doesn't allow him to be edgy so he's kinda boring. Plus outside of Doomsday and General Zod, his villains are pretty one dimensional i.e. just as boring. I thought that by being "unbound" he may finally shake off those shackles, but no. Just no.

 Lois Lane on the other hand, gets increasingly edgy with each film.

Superman: Unbound is just average. The inclusion of Supergirl was nice, but overall the film didn't offer any bite. Watch it if you're into that.

 

Violence? Animated
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Superman vs. The Elite (2012)

The Man of Steel finds himself outshone by a new team of ruthless superheroes who hold his idealism in contempt.

The Elite are a team of 4 young and flashy super beings who are not afraid to kill their enemies. As their methods gain popularity,  Superman fights to hold onto the ideal that Super powered beings are not ones to pass judgement on others as that's for the courts to decide. As the cheers for The Elite grow louder, the pressure mounts and they eventually come to blows.  Is he willing to die for his beliefs? Are they?

Superman is a boy scout. But he's a static character with static ideals. As the world changes, he stays the same; The ultimate good guy. Can he adjust? Can his morals stand in a world that's grown increasingly violent?  These are the questions posed by this film and these questions lead to a decent flick.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Yes

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Batman: Year One (2011)

A wealthy playboy and a Chicago cop both return to Gotham City where their lives will intersect in unexpected ways.

After the death of his parents, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham City only to find nothing but filth and corruption.  It is his intention to clean the city, yet admittedly, he isn't ready yet. He needs a symbol that will strike fear into people. Suddenly, a bat appears and the rest as they say is history.

Lieutenant James Gordon is new in town. After being run out from his previous police gig for turning in corrupt officers, he's looking for a fresh start in Gotham. Like Mr. Wayne, he only finds filth and corruption. Treading carefully, he avoids the corruption but is finally pushed too far after his wife and son are threatened. In his quest to clean up the city, Batman runs afoul of the police department and Gordon who has been assigned to stop him. Fairly quickly, he finds Batman's true identity, but after Bruce saves his son, an alliance is formed and you know the rest of the story.

Batman: Year One is essentially a two in one origin story explaining how Bruce Wayne became Batman and how James Gordon became Commissioner of Gotham.
It was a decent film overall, but i wouldn't say that it was one of the best Batman stories ever told. In this film, Gotham City was one of the worst cities. Not only was crime running rampant, the police were also corrupt including the commissioner. In this world, Batman was basically a rookie and I will admit that was interesting to see. Plus Gordon is a badass dude.

"It's been a long time since i had to take out a green beret."
[Then tosses the gun and gives him a bat so it's a "fair fight"]

The "Batman's a dick" line of the film:
None. In this film, he was a rookie. He didn't quite get into "Dick Mode" yet.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Justice League: Doom - 2012

Vandal Savage steals confidential files Batman has compiled on the members of the Justice League, and learns all their weaknesses.

Vandal Savage has gathered some of The Justice League's toughest villains and offered them a million dollar bounty to take them out. He christens them as the League of Doom and using the divide and conquer technique, the Justice League are summarily defeated by the league of doom, who have somehow capitalized on their greatest individual weaknesses.

Injustice League? No, Not campy enough. How about The Legion.Of.Dooooom!!!!!

Batman, after freeing himself realizes that the Justice League is under attack and after he saves the team, he reveals that he is responsible for all that's happened. In secret, he's developed secret plans to stop the League should they ever go rogue and become a threat. Each of his files are Specifically targeted to the individual physical and psychological weaknesses of each member and is intended to kill or put them out if commission for a large periods of time. He correctly surmises that Vandal Savage has stolen the files and intended to incapacitate the league so that they may not stop whatever he has planned.

The Justice League finds the League of Doom, stop their enemies and save the Earth. But the real pressing matter is still at hand, "Batman has compiled secret in-depth files detailing all our weaknesses and ways to stop us. Should he be allowed to continue as a member of The Justice League?"

What would you do? 

Honestly, I think that if Batman were to ever turn, there would be no one in the DC universe that could stop him. Dude is prepped for everything and even his contingency plans have contingency plans. But according to him, "The Justice League is his contingency plan." Pfft. You might as well just keep him by your side anyway. I know I wouldn't want to make an enemy of that guy.

In a film that have us a few to choose from, here is your "The Batman's a Dick" statement of the film:
After Green Lantern saves him and mentions that it's the third time he's done so, Batman replies with, "Oh, are we keeping score? Because if we are it's 8-7, my favor"



There are only two problems I have with this film. The individual members of the legion of doom, and the actual name of the group itself.  I don't know a lot of these villains, but minus Bane and Metallo, I don't really see them as a huge problem to the Justice League. As for the name, "The Legion of Doom" was a lame, lazy and campy name when it was created in the 70's and it's even lamer now.  Everyone knows, there's only one Legion of Doom and none of those losers could hold a candle to their badassery.

OHHHH, WHAT A RUUUUSSSHHH!!!

Out of Ten? 8

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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All Star Superman - 2011

While saving the crew of the first manned mission to the sun, Superman is poisoned by solar radiation. Dying, he decides to fulfill his lifelong dreams, while still saving the Earth from various threats. But when Lex Luthor reveals his latest plot to control the world, Superman must use his remaining strength to stop him.

Lex Luthor, genius supervillain, concocts a master plan which basically kills Superman from the inside as he tricks him into absorbing so much solar energy that his cells themselves are literally(lit-trally!) bursting at their seems. Understanding that his days are numbered, superman takes cares of his final desires. He reveals to Lois his true identity, and he also creates a serum to give Lois his superpowers for 24hrs without any of his known weaknesses. even going so far as to design a suit for her, in his final declaration of love.

D'awwww

Kent shows up to interview Lex in the prison and a riot breaks out when the super villain Parasite breaks free.
Lex is trying to keep Clark alive during the riot so that he can tell Lex's Story, That he killed Superman with solar energy. Superman faces Lex and challenges him to do good, but somehow Lex steals the super serum and gains his powers for 24hrs. This sets the stage for Superman's final fight, and one we've been waiting a long time to see. Lex stomps him out, but Superman eventually stops him and saves the planet at the end.

My questions to the people involved in this film:
Why the fuck would there even be a "manned mission to the Sun?"
Why would they house both the super villains and the regular human criminals in the same prison?
Why even include the "New Krypton" side plot?
Why would Metallo lift weights in a jail for super villains? He's a fucking robot, man!

Seriously, what's the fucking point?! 

I keep saying this, but I am a fan of the older narrative in these films.  Jimmy Olsen apparently crossdresses, They actually referenced/acknowledged the fact that Clark and Lois cannot have kids and they even went so far as to show Lex's execution in prison.

I can dig it.

Out of Ten? 7 6.5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths - 2010

A good version of Lex Luthor from a parallel Earth comes to our Justice League's Earth looking for help to fight their evil counterparts.

A parallel version of Lex Luthor travels to our planet to seek the help of the Justice League in order to save his. Not being as arrogant as his team mates, batman stays behind to manage their own planet and to mind his own damn business. Once in Lex's universe, The Justice League does battle with The Crime Syndicate, an alternate, evil version of themselves.

The Crime Syndicate

By the end, it is revealed that Owlman is every bit a BAMF as Batman, except he is insane and it is his plan to blow up Earth Prime, this eliminating all life in every universe. He basically subscribes to the "Kill 'em all, and let God sort Them Out" principle of villainy. The final sequence comes down to the fight I was most looking forward to, Batman vs. Owlman. Owlman is physically stronger and despite being outmatched, Batman uses his cunning and saves the day. In addition to killing owl man, he kills Johnny Quick(the evil flash) as well, tricking him into vibrating so fast that he ages rapidly.

He's The Goddamn Batman!

In conclusion, don't fuck with Batman. He doesnt use guns, but he will find a way to kill you if it's necessary or for the greater good.

The "Batman's a Dick" statement of the movie:
"Be careful Aquaman, they're stronger than you are!"

Motherfucker! Who isn't stronger than Aquaman?!

Out of Ten? 8 

Violence? Absolutely
Explosions? Of course
Nudity? Nope

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Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)

Batman faces his ultimate challenge as the mysterious Red Hood takes Gotham City by firestorm. One part vigilante, one part criminal kingpin, Red Hood begins cleaning up Gotham with the efficiency of Batman, but without following the same ethical code. Killing is an option. And when the Joker falls in the balance between the two, hard truths are revealed and old wounds are reopened.

The movie starts with The Joker fucking. Robin. Up. Dude is really giving him the business. Bashing him repeatedly with a crowbar and leaving him to die in a warehouse full of explosives. 5 years later, a mysterious man in a red hood appears and promises the crime families protection from both Batman and the Black Mask, the reigning Crime Lord of Gotham City.

The Red Hood has an elaborate plan to get back at the Joker.
And when it comes together, it's a glorious thing. 

After Batman and Nightwing foil a cargo theft, the criminals are assassinated before they can talk and that begins a cool chase through the streets of Gotham. Batman relates that There's been many people who have donned the Red Hood persona, yet none have been as deadly as this Red Hood, is not afraid to kill if the situation calls for it. He seems to be a real good match for Batman and he knows his true identity. Using hits fancy Bat-technology, he discovers that red hood and Jason Todd, the robin that died share the same DNA. 100% match. Batman then digs up his body and confirms that there was a fake in it's place. The bodies had been switched at some point.


The "Batman's a Dick" scene of the film:
"You say you want to be better than me, but not like this!"
(Said immediately before face punching Red Hood through a brick wall)


I'm going to go ahead and say outright that this is one of the best animated Batman films that I have seen. While giving you the background of Black Mask, Red Hood and a lil bit of Nightwing, the film also covers how well prepared everyone involved with batman is and how they to be awesome. The central theme was the eventual confrontation between Batman and Red Hood, and no matter how much they had going on in this film, everything introduced related to, and they never strayed from the plot.

Under the Red Hood is a very well animated film. I like the darker direction these animated films are going lately. Especially as it relates to Batman.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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