Only God Forgives (2013)

 

When a cop kills the brother of a British gangster who runs a Bangkok fight club, his crime-boss mother flies in from London to supervise revenge.

 

The Cast:

Ryan Gosling/ Julian
Billy the bro aka Sir DB
Police Chief Chops-A-Lot aka Samurai Cop
Mama (Te quiero, Mamaaaaa!!!!!)
Mai, hot Thai stripper chick.

The Situation: 

Billy and Julian, run a fight club type of operation in Bangkok. Thai men fight, people wager on the outcome and occasionally drugs are passed through.

Billy is a scumbag and he actually deserved to be killed. Raping and killing prostitutes, drinking, beating women and cruising the streets for 14yr old tang? Yep, that's no way to gain sympathy as a character. Julian tracks down his killer and accepts his death as justified. His mother on the other hand, isn't so easily pacified, and she sets off a chain of events and pits the family against the hard edged chief of police, samurai cop who isn't afraid to go above the law and get his hands dirty to stop crime. 

The basic premise behind Only God Forgives is "an unstoppable force meets an immovable object," but with Julian caught in the middle of the chaos. Yes his brother was killed and yes he should want  revenge, but the killing was sort of justified. His mother, on the other hand, wants swift and brutal revenge, not caring that she's up against a samurai cop who is will bring her family nothing but ruin for crossing his path.

-----------------------------

Now I've...had...the time of my liiifffee......

With the exception of The Ides of March, I'd say that Ryan Gosling has been attempting to make the most of his anti hero persona developed in Drive. This film though, doesn't much to help.  He's just in it to look pretty and collect a paycheck. Dude barely talks and except for one scene where he fights (and loses) he doesn't really do shit but look mopey for the entire film. Aside from all of that, it's deliberately slow, painful, and includes a lot of long stares and silence. Tension is supposed to be being built but nothing is really happening other than Karaoke. (Asians sure do like their karaoke)
 

Only God Forgives is like an art house picture film. Like it's trying to be something more than it is. Also, it's a strange movie, Everyone moves like robots. It's weird. Do yourself a favor and don't watch it. Dopest part of this movie is that poster. Which has already been made into a shirt, here

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Of slow paced, well plotted violence
Nudity? Yes? No? Idk. They'd have to throw in a lot of titty to salvage this film.

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Headshot (2012)

A cop who becomes a hitman for a group aimed at eliminating those who are above the law finds his world turned upside down by a single a devastating blow.

During a contract kill, an assassin,Tul, is shot in the head. His best friend manages to get him to a hospital and he barely makes it. Three months later he awakes, only to find that his vision has gone upside down.

We soon get Tul's backstory and see how he came to be this way.

Tul was a policeman who busted open a case implicating the Minister's brother and refuses a 10 Million Baht sum to back away. He then super coincidentally meets a sexy prostitute named Joy and gives her the business, only to find her dead in the bathtub the next morning. This of course lead to blackmail, to which he responded by nailing the dude with a steel chair. WWE style. That resulted in prison time, which effectively removed him from the case anyway.

In prison he was visited by Dr Demon, who offers him freedom in exchange for becoming one of his assassins. Basically killing high ranking corrupt officials who've escaped legal action. He accepts of course.

Back in the present, Tul is captured and tortured into giving up whoever gives him orders. They strip him and drip hot candle wax on his junk then shove the candle itself into his junk. (they waxed Santa's balls!) He manages to escape but he knows he needs a driver so he hijacks the car of the 2nd hottest Asian in the film. He tells her that he tires of his life and seeks out a life of peace and tranquility with the monks of the island. But that's soon shattered as men come looking to kill him for past transgressions.

Headshot jumps back and forth in narrative a bit too seamlessly. You have to really focus to tell when is when. Outside of that, it was a pretty good film.

Out of Ten? 7 

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Chocolate (2008)

Acclaimed Thai action director Prachya Pinkaew helms this martial arts drama, which follows Zen, a young autistic woman who discovers that she has the uncanny ability to absorb precision fighting skills just by watching martial arts movies. When her cancer-ridden mother's creditors come calling, Zen attempts to settle the debts by standing up to a hardnosed gang of criminals who have wrongfully swindled money from her family. 

From the people who brought you ong bak and the protector comes Chocolate. The tale of an autistic girl who learns martial arts by watching street fights and film. After her mother is hospitalized, an autistic girl tries to collect debts owed to pay her medical bills. In doing so she runs afoul of many shady dudes and eventually the guy responsible for her father's exile.

Chocolate is an awesome film and fits perfectly within the realm of the Ong Bak/Protector universe. The fighting and stunt work are crazy and the story moves straightforward from A to B. Fight fans, will love it. Plus the villain is a rock star. No matter how many times he is attacked, he never loses his shades. Because that wouldn't be cool.


Here's the trailer. (Spoiler alert!: Fight happens.)

Bonus points for the super cool villain.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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The Protector

One of the best fighting films in existence.

Oh, Mighty IMDB, please, please lay that plot on me:

A young fighter named Kham must go to Australia to retrieve his stolen elephant. With the help of a Thai-born Australian detective, Kham must take on all comers, including a gang led by an evil woman and her two deadly bodyguards.

Nice.


Watched it again recently, and I can't say that I remember all of the bath scenes, not that I'm complaining. With the excellent fight scenes its easy to forget everything else. Tony Jaa is incredible and I can see who/why he started to believe his own hype. Especially after that Incredible 4-min tracking shot.

The Protector is all about being pissed and wreaking havoc. He goes through the motions and dispatches the bad guys, but when he's pissed, its a whole different story. A pissed Tony Jaa = Maximum Carnage. Knees, elbows, elephant bones, vases, anything is a weapon.

The Infamous Tracking Shot:

How could you not enjoy that?

Violence? Yes. Muy Thai style.
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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