Lovelace (2013)

One infamous film revolutionized the entire porn industry. And newly destroyed its star's life. Amanda Seyfried stars as adult film icon Linda Lovelace, a woman coerced into and abused by the porn industry before taking charge of her life.

Lovelace attempts to tell the story of Linda Lovelace, in her own words. Basically things boil down into a he said she said regarding how her adult film career got started and how she's been perceived since. If you aren't familiar with the story, allow me to sum it up for you thusly: 

A young woman meets and falls for a guy who discovers she has an incredible talent for oral sex. Her talents are put on display in a mainstream adult film and she becomes world famous. She attempts to break free from the business and when the dust is settled, she becomes the most famous name in the anti-pornography movement. Her case being, she was drugged and forced into every scene she's ever done and she hadn't received a dime.

Apparently, parts of her story are true and others are wildly embellished so, it's really a he said/she said situation and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. This movie though, contains events mainly from her POV. It's a very curious case and one that I would encourage you to read up on if you're interested.

Anyway, because this movie is told from her pov, her "coersion" is a, bit more heavy handed as we see it.

With Lovelace, it feels like you're watching two films. One being her rise to stardom from what appears to be everyone else's pov and the other from her pov, which essentially fills in some missing parts and characterization. In essence, you're watching the same sequence of events, but one is a dream and the other a nightmare. After Deep Throat becomes a cultural and mainstream success, Linda Lovelace becomes a household name. Six years later, she's renouncing her fame and business and is planning on releasing a tell all about her marriage to Chuck Traynor, claiming he's an abusive scumbag who forced her into the business.

I got into this movie for two very good reasons: Amanda Seyfried and Boobs. Specifically, Amanda Seyfried's boobs. [But I wasn't planning on complaining about anyone else that wanted to put the boobs on screen either. What can I say? I'm a simple man.] I was skeptical of her casting as Linda Lovelace, but she rocked it. I'll shout if from the heavens, "AMANDA SEYFRIED KNOCKED THIS ROLE OUT OF THE PARK!" The highs, the lows, the mannerisms of a woman from innocent teen to strong confident woman who is eventually worn down by the ways of scumbags before she takes control of her life.

Obviously, there's a lot of porn culture in this film and that will probably bring about nostalgia for a good amount of people, but you gotta remember, It was a different time. A braless time. And in my opinion, there was only one thing that cast doubt on the Lovelace story. At one point in the film, she paints Hugh Hefner in a negative light. I refuse to believe he's anything other than a charming gentleman who gets bitches by respecting them and not referring to them as such. So basically her whole life is a lie.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Heh. No
Nudity? Yes

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On The Job (2013)

Filipino crime thriller inspired by a real-life scandal in which prison inmates are temporarily released from prison to work as contract killers on behalf of politicians and high ranking military officials.

On The Job, supposedly based on a true story, is about 2 convicts, who are occasionally released from prison to perform the duties of a contract killer. It sounds interesting right? Well, meh.  In concept? Yes. Very intriguing. In execution? No. I say "it was pretty lame."

The movie is about Tatang and Daniel. Tatang, the older of the two, has been informed that he's being paroled. Naturally, Thelma, who he takes orders from, lets him know that she will no longer need his services once he gets out as she wouldn't be able to control him. She asks him to prep Daniel, his cellmate and partner, to take over his role.

On a mission to hit a snitch, Daniel's gun jams and they inadvertently leave him alive. They manage to finish the job at the hospital and narrowly escape after getting into a shootout with police. Thelma is rightfully pissed as the last thing she needs is the national attention coming from a nearly botched job. In addition to all of that, The New chief of the FIB, [Think, FBI but more Pinoy] is the son of an influential man. He is investigating the killings and trying to straddle the line between good guys and bad guys, but his family connections may be too much to overcome.

So this is the thing, I don't think I've ever watched/reviewed a Filipino film on/for this blog. if I have, then disregard this sentence. I find Tagalog to be an interesting language. A unique mixture of English, Spanish and quite possibly Portuguese. That has no impact on my enjoyment or review of this film, just something I felt like typing out.  Anyway, On The Job was supposed to be a tale of corruption, wrapped inside of an crime drama. When they weren't killing people, it was boring. After a while, you're kinda just watching it to watch it. I was curious to see how it ended. Either Tang makes it out or he dies, Daniel dies, or they both get caught and the operation is exposed.

 

  

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Slaughter (2009)

On the run from an abusive ex-boyfriend, a woman takes refuge at a new friend's house, where bizarre family members seem to harbor terrifying secrets.

A young woman helps her best friend, Faith, settle into a new town and new life after she decides to leave her abusive relationship. At a bar Faith meets Lola, another attractive young woman, and she seeks out a friendship with her.

Living in constant fear of her abusive ex, Jimmy, [Why are all abusive guys named Jimmy?] things heighten when he somehow obtains her phone number. Under the impression that he has tracked her down, Faith moves in with Lola at the farm and eventually meets the rest of the family. Something is clearly amiss at the farmhouse, but being new and naive, Faith barely notices. Soon enough though, she discovers a terrifying secret.

Giggity!

 

I think that what bothered me the most is knowing that what did happen did not need to happen. A lot of this movie was pointless. For example: If you change your life or move away to escape a dangerous situation, why would you keep the same FB page/contract info? 

Slaughter is a is a very slow moving movie about a girl who escapes an abusive relationship by living on a farm with a girl she met at a bar. While it does take a darker turn about an hour into the film, there's no real tension or action or strife until then. Just characterization. Maybe I'm growing impatient in my old age, but having to wait a hr in for "The Slaughter" is ridiculous. And that's in quotes because nothing really happens. Okay shit happened, but nothing I really wanted or expected.

Anyway, I want to say that this entire film was pointless. After a while, you're just kinda waiting for it to end and that's no way to go though a film.

 

Violence? Yes, eventually.
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Ragini MMS (2011)

The weekend getaway quickly changes gets as they find themselves in a house that had been rigged with cameras. The cameras that were meant to capture love-making are witness to something that is beyond the realm of human understanding.

As awesome as a weekend of lovemaking sounds, Bollywood movies are such a tease sexually that you should never expect any type of sexual contact.

Uday plans a weekend at a farm house with the intention of filming his sexcapades with Ragini. His plans are seemingly wrecked when her best friend, Piya, shows up with her boyfriend, Vishal, in toe.
Vishal tells Uday about the urban legend going around the town regarding the house. Supposedly a woman was killed by her family after being declared a witch, only to come back and kill them all. He then immediately walks down the darkest, creepiest hallway alone. To his credit though, when he freaked out, he had the proper reaction and left.

With them gone, Udays plan is back on track and he again tries to make it happen. After handcuffing Ragini to the bed and making some sexual moves, he is paranormally attacked. Freaked out, and in panic mode, he accidentally reveals a hidden camera and Regini discovers his plan to make a sex tape.

Cementing his scumbag status, he leaves her cuffed to the bed because he can't to be there anymore, and has to go. He's immediately tossed back into the house battered and bloody and accuses her of setting this up. He then quickly kills himself and leaves her to carry the movie on her own.
Digging around, she finds a bottle of vodka and decides there's nothing else to do but get acquainted with it. (Which is about the 2nd best response to this situation.) Turns out, vodka sucks. The lights go out again and she gets roughed up by the spirit. She finally frees herself of the cuffs and finds that escaping the house will be no easy task.

Pro Tip: never use sex cuffs. Sure there they're sexy and fun, but what happens when shit gets real and you don't have a key?

Ragini MMS is basically a two person film and Ragini and Uday are stuck carrying the load. They do a pretty good job, (especially as it becomes a one person film) but like an arranged marriage, there was no love. A lot of the film is done with a handheld camera. I think that's a first for a Bollywood production and part of what drew me to the film. I was curious as to how it would be handled. A Bollywood Paranormal Activity type of film? Would there be song and dance? Would there be a love story? I didn't know what to expect and I was a little excited.

Minus the intro, there are no songs and dances and there aren't any romantic moments. There is, however, a lot of paranormal activity (wink). A lot of stuff happens in the background of the film but attention is called to it so that nothing is missed by the viewer. When they finally bring the shit to the forefront, the film gets much better...Then it becomes Blair Witch and totally drags.

I feel like it was an awesome effort but one that could have been done better. On the bright side, this is a welcome change from the typical Bollywood film and it's increased my interest in the genre.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Gangster Squad (2013)

Los Angeles, 1949: A secret crew of police officers led by two determined sergeants work together in an effort to take down the ruthless mob king Mickey Cohen who runs the city.

 
Gangster Squad, The Untouchables, and another flick or two that I'm sure I'm missing. There's just Something about cops being just as ruthless as the bad guys. Villains are not constrained by the law and that's their advantage. When the cops level the playing field however, shit usually gets real. It's just something that is necessary, but unthinkable in today's society.

Anyway, Gangster Squad was an enjoyable flick. There was drama (of course), but there were more action and gun fights to make up for it. In the climax, they shot up the lobby of a hotel. Twas good stuff. I feel like Emma Stone was a bit miscast but I've gained a new respect for Sean Penn.

Sean Penn is a man who I've never gave proper credit to. I don't like him, but I cannot deny his talent. 

Granted this was just a generic role for him, but for some reason I noticed him.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Some mook ate a shotgun to the face!
Explosions? Mofos were tossing dynamite like they were Looney Toons.
Nudity? No. Surprisingly.

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Dream Home (2010)

Cheung, will do anything to own her perfect little dream home -- anything. And with a mix of cold-hearted determination and homicidal tendencies, the title and deed do become hers. But who will have to pay the price for Cheung's outrageous methods? 

Dream Home dances between her present day serial killing life and her past, which attempts to explain what led her to that point. The movie isn't that good. In fact, it's quite boring. The only interesting scenes are when she's killing people.From the first scene you could tell she meant business. She strangled a dude with a plastic fastener and watched as he took a box cutter to his carotid artery in an attempt to free himself.

I don't know what to think about this film, but Dream Home is only good it for the kills. Hardcore, gory deaths. Speaking of which, I found a new kill to add to the list involving suffocation by vacuum.

Trailer:

  

Out of Ten? 6

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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Bad Ass (2012)

Loosely based on a true incident, this tale follows a lonely Vietnam vet who bravely takes on two menacing hoods on a bus. When his heroics are caught on video, Frank sees his life transformed -- but not for very long. 

Frank Vega is a war vet who had trouble making it after returning home from the war. On a bus into the city, be stops two dudes from harassing and nearly attacking an elderly man. The fight is recorded and becomes a viral hit online. He becomes a minor celebrity and a symbol of citizens standing up for themselves. After his best friend, Klondike is killed and the police show disinterest in his case, Frank takes to the streets in an attempt to gain revenge and closure.

Eventually, the bad guys pay him a visit, looking for a flash drive that Klondike had stolen from them. After dispatching them, he continues his search, finds one of the guys responsible and figures out that the contents of the usb and the death of his friend are related. Fighting his way up the food chain, he steps toe to toe with the man responsible, who just happens to be Roc the Garbageman, aka Charles S. Dutton.

Frank is tortured, but being Bad Ass, he laughs it off, gets free and ends up in a high speed bus chase. He makes it home just in time to give Roc a solid ass whoopin'. And just when I didn't think this film could get any better, they fucked around and included the "call the amberlamps" line.

Action, Comedy, and even a little Titty. Bad Ass is Bad Ass and it hits all of its comedic notes. Epic Beard Man fucks people up in this film. At one point, they even do the slow motion Sherlock Holmes ass whoppin' thing. Plus few scenes are as funny as a man suiting up and putting on a "I Am A Motherfucker" shirt.

The fight that started it all:

Out of Ten? 7 + Roc = 8

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Yes

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The Wave (2008)

To give his students a real-world example of how dictatorships can grow powerful, a high school teacher starts a social experiment that gives some of his students a strong advantage while leaving others subservient and powerless.

After a discussion in which his students reveal that they believe another dictatorship could not rise in modern day Germany, a teacher creates an experiment to show just how such an event can occur.

They discuss what is needed to create such a thing:

• A leader
• A respect of authority
  
• Discipline
  
• Social conditions ( high unemployment/ inflation/ depression) must be met.
  
• Extreme nationalism.
  
• A uniform
  
• A salute
  
• A logo
  

And it grows wildly.

As the week progresses and the experiment continues, more students are buying into it and have even taken to recruiting others. After a wild night in which the kids paint the town with their logo, it becomes apparent to a lot more people that things are getting out of control. When the teacher tries to shut it down however, they all receive a crushing blow that will change their lives forever.

 The wave is actually a pretty good film. Somewhat Based on a true story, this German version it holds more weight given their history.

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Mild
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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Alpha Dog - 2006

 (via)

A 2006 film starring Justin Timberlake, Bruce Willis and Emile Hirsch(Speed Racer)

A drama based on the life of Jesse James Hollywood, a drug dealer who became one of the youngest men ever to be on the FBI's most wanted list.

 - via (IMDB)

I'll be the first to tell you that I don't like Justin Timberlake, but honestly, I dug his performance in this flick. However, I didn't believe for a second that Emile "Speed Racer" Hirsch, -the same guy that did the girl next door- could play a convincing badass drug lord, and he couldn't. The appearance of Bruce Willis lent some creditability to this flick.

I'd say give Alpha Dog a shot. It is decent, captivating and It was based on a true story. After watching, it made me want to look up information on what actually happened in reality. It's good lazy Sunday viewing.
The end is a bit sad though, so watch with women and have tissues.

Out of Ten? 6.5

Violence? Yes.
Explosions? No.
Nudity? Olivia Wilde provides the goods.

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The Devil's Double - 2011

Baghdad, the playground for the rich and infamous, where anything can be bought - but for a price. This is Uday Hussein's world and with his depraved lust for debauchery and immorality, he helps himself to whatever turns him on. When army lieutenant Latif Yahia is summoned to Saddam's palace, he is faced with an impossible request - to be Uday's 'fiday' - his body double, or have his family condemned to death. In a world entrenched in betrayal and corruption, knowing who to trust becomes a matter of life or death for Latif, as he battles to escape from his forced existence.

What U-Day Hussain(Saddam's son) wants, he gets. And he wants an old classmate, Latif, who even then.bore an uncanny resemblance, to be his brother.and lookalike. After flat out refusing, he was  given the "do this or we'll kill your entire family" speech and he reluctantly agreed. After tailoring  his look, he's immediately thrust into a life of luxury, brutality and intrigue and becomes his "brother" to all in the social circle and his duplicate to everyone outside of it. After living the life and the seeing the insanity and brutality firsthand, he tries to break free and is punished. Long story short, he spearheads an assassination attempt on ouday, cripples him and flees the country.

Uday is a delightfully insane character and dude has a Solid. Gold. UZI. Whattup. 

The film was set during the Gulf War and occupation of Kuwait. When Saddam was at the height of his power and his find were living the life of wealth and privilege. I have no idea just how much of the story is true, but apparently U-Day Saddam Hussein was a party animal-slash-cooze hound, with a serious mean steak. At one point,  He disembowels a man. Then shoots him in the head. Because he's psychotic like that.  Classy.

Stray Quotage:

-"I could fuck that."
     "It's her wedding day!"
"Hmm...you think she'd let me put my finger in her butt?"

-"Allah, gives me nothing. Everything I want, I take for myself."

-"I like cunt. I love my country, I love my mother, I love my father, but I love cunt the most!"


If you look like Uday Saddam Hussein (or any other infamous historical figure), and you are trying to escape him, why not shave or cut your hair? This part of his logic gnaws at what is an otherwise good film.
Outside of that, I acknowledge that Dominick Cooper is a fucking awesome actor. He played both roles to perfection. I seriously thought they were two different people.

Who the hell is this guy?!!!

Here's the Trailer if you're interested:

Violence? Yes. Did I mention that a guy got disemboweled? Cuz that happened. Some dude was seriously watching his intestines spill out onto the table.
Explosions? Off-screen
Nudity? Pfft. "Everyone get naked or I will kill everyone in here!" This starts an impromptu nude party.

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JCVD - 2008

You're looking at a broken man...with no one to blame but himself.

JCVD is a remarkably candid discussion disguised as a movie. In it, former action star Jean Claude Van Damme plays himself as he tries to restart his career in Hollywood. With brutal honesty, he discusses his current life and why and how his career initially fell apart. In between those scenes, he's being held hostage during a bank robbery and the criminals make it appear that he's become so destitute that he chose to rob it. After a while he goes with it in order to get the money to pay his lawyers fees.

JCVD is actually a pretty good movie and it provides and in depth look into Van Damme's life and struggles and It makes you feel bad for him. You do want to see him succeed. For Fuck's sake, he's Jean Claude Van Damme! Have we forgotten Bloodsport already?! Bloodsport!!!

The movie is about atonement and redemption. Van Damme is conveying to you that he has been his own worst enemy and showing you how he is trying to dig himself out of the hole he's put himself into. It is definitely worth a watch, in my opinion. Take a look at the trailer. It just doesn't seem like one of his usual "Straight to TV movies."

Besides, how can you hate a guy that says something to the effect of "I need to be more selective with my roles going forward, I'm trying to protect my image this time around." and immediately does "Universal Soldier 5?"

Violence? Yes. It may be introspective, but it is still a Van Damme flick.
Explosions? Yes, still a Van Damme flick.
Nudity? No. Not this time.

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La Soga - 2009

A cop works against his country's corrupt government in order to find justice on a case.

La soga is a tale of a Dominican mercenary who is secretly contracted by the police force yet operates outside of the law. As a child, he witness a drug dealer kill his father. Since being recruited by the Police General, his sole purpose is to kill drug criminals who have been deported back to DR. You'll learn that his father was killed by a drug dealer and that is what set him on this path. He waits for the deportation of that same criminal who is now in NYC so that he can finally have his vengeance. To clarify, he doesn't just hunt criminals, there is (of course) a procedure. If you fuck up in the states and get deported, just pay the gov't a protection fee and you're cool. If/when you don't pay, you get to meet...La Soga.

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