Showing posts with label Douchestache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Douchestache. Show all posts

The King Of Kong (2007)




Documentary covering the attempt of a man to break the Donkey Kong world record and the current (at the time) record holder's attempt to stop him.

The battle of the century was set to take place. Steve Webbe would attempt to break the worlds highest score in Donkey Kong. Billy Mitchell, the current record holder, would do anything in his power to not let that happen.


Walter Day (old guy) was clearly influential in getting the video game culture off the ground. And if you'd like to learn a bit more about him and Billy Mitchell, check out Chasing Ghosts another solid documentary.




I don't want to spoil too much by writing about it but I think that everyone, even people with a passing interest in video games would enjoy this doc. It's the basic tale of an underdog taking on a powerhouse, but there's a lot of twists and turns along the way to keep you hooked.

The King of Kong is an excellent documentary that is so compelling that you invest in the characters. It sucks you in. You want Steve to win, you want Walter to eat a dick, and more importantly, you'll want to see Billy Mitchell fail, if only because of the way he continues to win.

 Billy Mitchell. He knows people hate him. He cultivates it. Radiates it.


Violence? No
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

Easter Bunny, Kill Kill! - 2006


Remington, a murderous grifter cons his way into a mother's heart, putting on a fatherly facade to her cherished son, Nicholas. But the second she leaves for work, a torrent of abuse rains upon the gentle boy. Debauchery is at hand and Nicholas is nowhere to be found but someone wearing the mask of the beloved holiday hopper shows up ready to deliver a blood-splattered night of unspeakable carnage.

Autistic Donald Glover lives for easter. He loves the holiday and he loves the easter bunny most of all. The night before easter, he receives a rabbit which he believes to be the Easter Bunny. He doesn't like Remington, his mom's new boyfriend. Who is clearly a scumbag. In order to control ADG, Remington employs the useful but rarely seen "Do whatever I say or the bunny gets it" technique. After his mom leaves him with Remington for the night, the movie finally begins to pick up.

 
Can you tell them apart?

That dude Remington was in full scumbag mode. Complete with evil laughter. He basically sells ADG'S ass to his creepy child molesting friend while he takes off to score some hookers and blow. This movie takes forever to get to the killing, But once it does, shit gets real. As the creepy molester is looking for his "boy pussy" he is killed by a guy wearing a bunny mask. Bunny guy manages to kill two more people before Remington gets back with the hookers and the coke. One by one, the hookers are picked off until only Remington remains. He goes down of course, but definitely not in the way that I expected.
And the from nowhere, a double twist ending.



  
The rack on the chick that plays his mom is capital A-mazing of course she would fall a this douchestache.

Out of Ten? 5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Once

The Hunger Games - 2012


Set in a future where the Capitol selects a boy and girl from the twelve districts to fight to the death on live television, Katniss Everdeen volunteers to take her younger sister's place for the latest match.


The Hunger Games is A life or death battle with participants chosen from the poor. A bit like Bum fights, but on a grander and more socially acceptable scale. There's a very slow start/build to the film as the characters are introduced and the world is fleshed out and somehow, I feel like there was less drama in the book. The main character is named Katniss Evergreen and after her piss-poor, weakling sister, Primrose.(*eyeroll*) was chosen, she volunteers as we could all see that that little girl would have been very easily slaughtered. She boards a train on route to the games and Woody Goddamn Harrelson makes an appearance! This Dude is in everything lately. He's one of the original survivors of the Hunger Games and the mentor/trainer for her district.

*Sigh* she's so poor that she couldn't afford an actual name. But "A rose by any other name"...I guess...


When she gets there, she runs into Lenny Kravitz! Turns out He's a helpful spirit who tries to help Catnip in her quest to win and be liked/remembered along the way. It's never really explained why he was helping her at all, but As her wardrobe designer,  he designs a suit which allows her to wear fire and she instantly becomes a crowd favorite. Once the games begin, the film is presented as a Reality TV program, with the Producers pulling out all the stops to make sure the game is successful and.entertaining. At the Hunger Games, the winner takes all, and last one standing wins.

I wish he'd have redesigned this shit. She looks like a goddamn frosted cupcake.

The Hunger Games is a painfully slow film. I guess I expected more action. Maybe I'd have enjoyed it more, if I read the book, but if the book is anything like the film, I wouldn't have enjoyed that either. I mean, have you ever watched a movie and thought, "How did my life come to this?" All of this setup. Where's the violence? Where's the bloodspray? Then we finally, finally, finally get to the killing. Yet, Because the bulk of the participants were kids, and because the film was PG-13, the film would rather give you motion sickness and seizures than show you the gory details of their deaths.

Confession: I didn't read the book so like the 60's I went in raw. But after sitting through this streaming pile, I'm fighting every urge to tell you all about this movie. But trust me, it isn't even worth spoiling. If you are into the series, you may like it. Shit, there's a chance you might not. It fucking sucked.

Also, fuck this guy's douchebeard.

Out of Ten? 5

Violence? Eventually but obscured
Explosions? 1
Nudity? No

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