Avengers (2012)

Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. brings together a team of super humans to form The Avengers to help save the Earth from Loki and his army.

Although I felt the film was not worth its hype, Avengers is still a good, solid movie that manages to be both entertaining and coherent. Once again, the Comedic moments help to bring levity to the film and it also tied into the other pictures without being to vague or confusing. The stars of the flick were easily Nick Fury, Iron Man and Captain America, but everyone got relatively equal screen time and hero moments. I wasn't expecting banner to be likable (considering his past history in film) and that was such a breath of fresh air. Scarlet Johansson tried her biggest to ruin it, but it survived.

Scarlett Johansson cannot act. She's terrible. If she wasn't hot, (ie: if she wasn't a redhead with big boobs) she'd still be bussing tables, waiting for her big break.

Now Let's talk Banner/Hulk for second. Everyone that has seen this film raves about the Hulk. He's big, he's green, he's angry, he smashes shit. It should have never taken three films to get it right, but this Hulk with the addition of an actual likable banner, was definitely an improvement. What I didn't like was the lazy and plot convenient writing. At one point, Banner Hulks out and wrecks anything that moves. The second time, when the team could use some smashing, Banner shows up and appears to be in full control. Not only that, but Hulk is actually a team player? I didn't get that.



It seems Marvel has a successful blueprint for their films. (Big Budget action, likable characters, comedy) and The Avengers is no different. It was action packed and even the slow parts moved pretty quick.

Out of Ten? 7.5

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Captain America: The First Avenger (2012)

***All this week, I'll be reviewing Marvel's Avenger related films. 

Today's feature: Captain America: The First Avenger***

In Marvel's superhero slugfest, Steve Rogers volunteers for a secret experiment during WWII after being deemed unfit for duty. Transformed into super soldier Captain America, he takes on his Nazi-created counterpart, Red Skull, and the evil Hydra.

100lb weakling, Steve Rogers has tried repeatedly to join the army and fight in WWII. Due to his small frame and asthma, he is repeatedly denied. One day, he is given an opportunity unlike any other. An experimental serum, created by the Allies, designed to turn a man into the perfect human specimen.

The serum amplifies the values of the person. The good become great and the bad become worse. Johann Schmidt took a dose if the super serum before it was ready and it reinforced his desire to rule the world. To that end, he puts his plans in motion as The Red Skull, creating a multi national science and weapons program, openly defying Hitler, and just being a Villain in general. Captain America, although new to the game, has always been gung-ho about fighting bullies. Seeing Red Skull as one, he charges head first into his fortresses to both free American soldiers and to take the fight directly to him.

Captain America was not a terrible movie. In fact it was way better than I thought It'd be. They even took the time to throw in an action montage!!!

Chris Evans (aka Jake Wyler) got huge for this role and the humor in the right moments brought levity to the film. Dominic Cooper as Howard Stark was awesome, even the characters with smaller roles played them well. What I didn't like however, was, Hugo "Agent Smith" Weaving not getting enough credit for his portrayal of the Red Skull in this flick. Not given too much to do, he manages to make the skull both a believable and well rounded villain.

Lately, Marvel's movies have proven to be decent, if not over-hyped. Captain America was much better than I thought it'd be. But one burning question remains:

How or why exactly is his shield a boomerrang?

Out of Ten? 7

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Planet Hulk (2010)

***All this week, I'll be reviewing Marvel's Avenger related films. 

Today's feature: Planet Hulk***

The Incredible Hulk, ejected from Earth in a spaceship, crash-lands on a planet ruled by a tyrant, who forces him to fight in a coliseum against other powerful creatures. The Hulk reluctantly befriends the combatants on his team.

All we need to know about the hulk is explained by Ironman in the first five minutes: The madder he gets, the stronger he gets and they've shipped him off of Earth because not even he can contain his rage. After being jettisoned, Hulk awakens and smashes. Eventually ruining the set trajectory and taking him off course. Instead of bring marooned on a lifeless planet, he ends up on Skaar, a planet under the rule of the ruthless Red King. After that, the film becomes a thinly veiled Gladiator/Spartacus clone, as he is sold into slavery, forced into the arena, and becomes the hero of prophecy.

Fun Fact: The actual comic didn't interest me but after watching the movie, I'm thinking about reading it now. But movies are so much better than books and as a bonus, I finally got what I wanted in a Hulk film: No Bruce Banner, and lots of smashing. Plus, somewhere in the movie, Thor manages to make a cameo and he is shown fucking shit up as well.

Bravo.

Out of Ten? 8

Planet Hulk has all of the brutality expected from a Hulk film with none of the boring exposition. Since no one is human, it's A-Okay to destroy them and since he's fighting for his life, the brutality is justified.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No.

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Hulk Vs. (2009)

***All this week, I'll be reviewing Marvel's Avenger related films. 

Today's feature: Hulk Vs. ***

Hulk Vs. is a double feature animated movie telling the tales of Hulk vs. Thor followed by Hulk vs. Wolverine.

Hulk vs. Thor
Every winter, Odin sleeps for a week. During his slumber, the forces if evil try to take Asgard under their control. Loki has brought Bruce Banner to Asgard to use the Hulk as his pawn in his quest for power. Within two minutes, Loki not only has the Hulk, he's separated banner from the beast and is in full control. Only Thor can hope to stop him, but a fully pissed off Hulk is a thing of beauty and After easily dispatching Thor, Hulk heads toward the city, the bright lights leading him to where Odin sleeps. Thor, who manages to live, (because no one ever dies in the comics) regains his health and gets ready for round two as he aims to reunite Banner and the Monster.

Final thought: Hulk vs. Thor is actually pretty good. The Shakespearean stuff is a bit draining, but what's Old English for Smash? Because that's all I heard.

Hulk vs. Wolverine
They play out this confrontation with the idea that Wolverine has no idea who or what the Hulk is. He's been given a simple task, find the Hulk and bring him in and kill him if he has to. After tracking him in the wilderness, he finds Banner shaking and crying. He manages to piss him off and we all know what comes next. During the fight, After a group of supervillains make their appearance and we get a Weapon X flashback, explaining the backstory of Wolverine and his connection to them. The Weapon X program seeks to use The Hulk as a weapon in their quest for whatever the hell it is that they want.

Final thought: There's a lot of blood in this film and rightfully so. Wolverine is a character every bit as brutal as the Hulk. How could they fight without bloodshed? The Thor film was definitely a better story, but who doesn't want to see Hulk vs Wolverine? Terrorists. That's who.

Overall, Hulk Vs. is an enjoyable double feature. I know they can get away with more in these animated films, but I admit, I was really digging the Hulk's brutality, and I wish they could find someway to do this on the big screen.

Out of Ten? 8

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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Thor: Tales of Asgard (2011)

***All this week, I'll be reviewing Marvel's Avenger related films. 
Today's feature: Thor: Tales of Asgard***

The young Norse God Thor embarks on a quest with his brother Loki to find and recover a legendary sword.

The story is essentially this:
Seeking to prove himself as a man/warrior, Thor journeys to the land of the Frost Giants, seeking the sword of Serta, a magical sword once wielded by a powerful entity and it now lays in the lands of the deadly Frost Giants. The truce between The Frost Giants and Asgard had been tenuous at best, but after accidentally slaying two sentries, his actions threaten to ignite a war between the two realms. When a third party takes possession of the sword, both Odin and all of Asgard are threatened with destruction.

This film has almost all one could want in a story taking place in Asgard. Mead, bar fights, women, old english, Thor and we even get to see Odin take action in this flick.

My only real gripe:

Teenage Thor. Bleh.

Out of Ten? 6

Violence? Mild
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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The Black Panther [TV Series] (2009)

***All this week, I'll be reviewing Marvel's Avenger related films. 

Today's feature: The Black Panther (The Animated Series)***

The Black Panther is 12 episode motion comic introducing (or even re-acquainting for the comic savvy) The Black Panther and the sovereign county of Wakanda to the world. 

The Black Panther is the the title given to the leader of Wakanda. Every year, there is a contest where anyone can challenge the King, for the right to the panther crown. T'Challa our reigning King, took the throne after defeating the his uncle at the last battle.

The United States Govt having grown increasingly concerned about the sovereign country (whose military, tech and wealth are vastly superior), have resigned themselves (along with a few other countries) to send in "special forces" to try to kill/assist the Panther and gain a foothold in Wakanda. Their intel has discovered that the Black Panther is no one to be trifled with. He's defeated Captain America, the Fantastic Four, and countless other people who have appeared on his land. The nation of Wakanda itself is equally strong, having never been conquered, holding advanced technology and cures to nearly all diseases and never having or needing to tap it's vast oil reserves to create wealth. In Wakanda's eyes, everyone is after wakanda to profit from the resources that they willingly share with their people. This is why they remain isolated and shun everyone outside their borders. They feel the world is too selfish for their own good.

Proving their point, the US decides to finance an invasion of Wakanda. Putting it in the hands of "The Claw," a top mercenary and assassin who was ultimately responsible for the death of a previous Panther, T'chaka, T'challa's father. As the villains breach the border and start to invade Wakanda, it's up to T'challa to show his might as the Panther and save his country while also avenging his father's death.

Captain America makes a cameo and proceeds to get his ass handed to him. To be fair, they turned him into a bloodthirsty agent as opposed to the diplomatic guy he is today. But an ass whipping could also do that to you as well. The Juggernaut is recruited by the villains, but he's there solely to fuck with the wildlife and utter the world famous line.

He's the Juggernaut, Bitch!

The series, although filled with exposition, gets better as it goes along. I'm surprised they threw in so many cameos from other Marvel characters, but it shows the importance, relevance and influence of both the Panther and Wakanda. There are a few "eye-roll" moments, but it doesn't stray too far off the beaten path.

  Out of Ten? 8

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? No

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