A younger and more reluctant Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, sets out on an "unexpected journey" to the Lonely Mountain with a spirited group of Dwarves to reclaim their stolen mountain home from a dragon named Smaug.
The Hobbit is the official (three movie) prequel to the Lord of the Rings Saga. Through the greed of Hollywood and the magic of New Zealand, they have found a way to tell a story in three films where the book it was based was able to wrap it all up in one.
If you couldn't infer from that paragraph, The Hobbit is both long and boring. Establishing the team (meaning getting Bilbo ready and explaining the Dwarves) and Bilbo coming into possession of The Ring by cheating Gollum was the only thing of relevance that occurred. There was also a Rock'Em Sock'Em fighting scene. It was pointless, but I mention it for the nostalgia aspect.
Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots were the shit! But Rock'Em Sock'Em Rock Monsters?
The film was also very pretty, but at one point you would think that someone would speak up and tell somebody that no one wants to watch people walk across and through mountains for two hours. Then again, judging by it's box office returns, there are clearly people who do.
I'm giving the Hobbit a six because of Martin Freeman (Bilbo) and because Gollum was in the movie. Oh and Gandalf. Dude is a badass.
What I want, is my time back!
Out of Ten? 6
Violence? Dwarves vs. Orcs/Trolls
Explosions? No
Nudity? No. I just realized that there are no women in this film series. I guess everyone just comes from eggs?
0 comments:
Post a Comment