So I was on the train the other day...
...and this
tall woman gets on. Its late at night so immediately all eyes are on
her. Sitting across from her, I noticed that her hands and feet are
pretty big, but I thought to myself, "Meh, some women are just...big." When I looked up at her face that's when the thought hit me, "this...just might be a dude," and if you ever get to that point, it is safe to assume that she is more than likely a he.
As she gets off to catch a connecting train across the platform, one of the other guys who was sleeping notices her ass in the reflection of the door and gets excited. He screamed out, "Whoa, I almost missed that!" and basically eye-fucked her onto the other train. The guy that was sitting next to me put his hand up and said to him, "Hold on partner, that was a dude." The sleeping guy didn't believe him, "No way, you're buggin'. That was no dude, you see Dat Ass?!?!?" He was firmly in denial and disbelief until I burst his oblivious bubble and chimed in with, "Dude, that was a man. You didn't have the view that we had. 100%. Pure. Man."
It was at that point when reality set in. His face dropped, he sunk down in his seat and he didn't say a word for the rest of his ride. In the perfect twist of the knife, The guy next to me said, "Shit, I better delete this picture...before people start thinking I like dudes!"
Homeboy pulled his hat down over his glasses and sunk a little further into that seat.
Shaaaammeeee!!!! I'll be embarrassed forreeevvverrrr!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA I can almost always tell, having spent a LOT of time in gay bars at drag shows. Sometimes though, they look amazing and I just want to corner them for the makeup tips. There's something inherently wrong when a man can do his makeup better than any woman.
ReplyDeleteSome days you can tell, but my rule of thumb is, "if you get to the point where you really can't tell, it's safe to just drop the whole thing and move on."
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