The Perfect Host (2010)

  

A thief gets a bit more than he bargained for as he cons his way into a wealthy homeowners place on the night of a dinner party. True natures are revealed after a game of chess and everyone's motivations change.
Idk what to say or think about this film. David Hyde Pierce is awesome in this role as you never really know where hits character will go next. The film itself though? Eh. There was a lot happening, and nothing happening at the same time. There is a twist but not much comes from it.

I don't know, man. Some people trend to love this movie. Maybe I'm just uncultured, but I just don't see it.

I know, buddy...I know.

Out of Ten? 5

Violence? Mild
Explosions? No
Nudity? No

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The Woman (2011)

When a successful country lawyer captures and attempts to "civilize" the last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast for decades, he puts the lives of his family in jeopardy.

Chris Cleek seems to have the perfect life. A large house, a full family, and financial security. While on a hunting trip, he comes across a woman living in the forest.From there, he comes home and orders his family to clean out his shed. The next day, after some light construction work, he comes home with the woman, fully intending on reinstating her humanity and civility. In doing so, the true nature of the family is revealed. 

The bulk of The Woman moves painfully slow as we get to see his  family who just seem off. The father seemed super creepy and sadistic from the first scene. The oldest daughter seems distraught, the son seems borderline psychotic, and his wife seems abused.

I went into this expecting a straight horror film, but this was more of an exploitation than anything else. Still, a decent movie, but one that moved too slow for my tastes.

Out of Ten? 6

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Feral Titty

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Director's Spotlight #4

Robert Rodriguez

Robert Anthony Rodríguez (born June 20, 1968), [currently giving you the "eff me eyes"] is an American film director, screenwriter, producer, cinematographer, editor and musician. A friend and frequent collaborator of filmmaker Quentin Tarantino, He shoots and produces many of his films in his native Texas and Mexico. 

Robert Rodriguez has directed a good amount of well known films. Some I'm sure you've heard of, and some I'm sure you were planning on getting to later. Anyway, take a look. If you're a fan, check some of these out. None of these films would score lower than a 7 on anyone's list.

Desperado (1995)

We pick up the story as a continuation of "El Mariachi," where an itinerant musician, looking for work, gets mistaken for a hitman and thereby entangled in a web of love, corruption, and death.

Planet Terror (2007)

After an experimental bio-weapon is released, turning thousands into zombie-like creatures, it's up to a rag-tag group of survivors to stop the infected and those behind its release.

Machete (2010)

After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.

Spy Kids (2001)

The tables are turned when pint-sized kids Carmen and Juni must rescue their secret-agent parents (Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino) from the diabolical clutches of Alexander Minion (Tony Shalhoub), who's after a powerful artificial brain that will automate his army of kid robots to do his bidding.

From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)

Robbers-on-the-lam Seth and Richard Gecko take an ex-preacher and his kids hostage. On a race to the Mexican border, they rendezvous at a cantina, not knowing the owners and clientele are bloodthirsty vampires

Sin City (2005)

In this series of interwoven stories adapted from Frank Miller's graphic novels, an ex-con avenges a hooker's death, a detective gets mixed up with dangerous vixens, and a rogue cop becomes hell-bent on saving a stripper from a rapist.

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Queen's Blade (2009)

In 4 years time the competition that will decide who the next Queen shall be will start. The strongest warrior will continue to rule the country according to tradition and expand it. The contestants need only be older than 12 years. They need not be human, intelligent or even of that country. The rules for the tournament are simple: murder is allowed. Any weapon can be chosen. The winner is decided when one of the participants flees or can't move anymore. Such event is broadcasted trough a crystal sphere by the court's magic teacher to all population to see and enjoy.

Queen's Blade is an anime where scantily clad female warriors battle each other for the right to be Queen. Of what? Who cares? It doesn't matter.

This anime features:

• Sword Fighting
• Titty
• Mud/oil wrestling
• Titty
• Angels
• Titty
• Thongs 
• A Boston Crab

Heh.

Blatant nudity aside, the story/plot is actually pretty good. And I'm definitely not upset about the nudity. The fights are well done and the story is easy to follow. Then again, what's so hard to understand about women fighting and exposed breasts? After a few episodes, the series tends to drag a bit, but I found it funny that the characters get bent out of shape when they come across any one who doesn't wear underwear.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? Yes
Nudity? Umm, yeah. I guess there could be more...I guess.

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Retro Review: Slumber Party Massacre - 1982

An eighteen-year-old high school girl is left at home by her parents and she decides to have a slumber party. There is friction between some of the invited guests and the new girl, who is better at basketball than they, so the new girl decides to stay at home (which is conveniently across the street from the host's house). Meanwhile, a murderer of five people with a propensity for power tools has escaped and is at large, and eventually makes his way to the party, where the guests begin experiencing an attrition problem, with only the new girl to help them.

The girls of Stanford High do everything together. They eat, compete and even comfort each other when need be. Tonight, they die together in this old school B-movie slasher flick.

Not much is known about our killer other than he's killed a few times before and he's currently on the run. Killer immediately strikes as his first victim is a telephone repair woman at the high school of our damsels.
The bitchy high schooler gets taken in accordance to Rule # 12 and our killer moves on to stalk the rest of his prey. Having no idea what's in store, the teens' plan for a slumber party remain unaltered. During the slumber party, strange noises abound, but the girls remain undeterred. The guys stumble upon the party just in time to see the girls change into their nightwear.

Hmm...That's nice right there. Real nice. Red Kool-Aid? Love it.

After (of course) forgetting to lock the back door our killer finally has a way into the house. Shit gets real fairly quickly, after the pizza guy shows up dead on the doorstep. Once the phone lines are cut, the teens realize that they're in for a shitty night. The two males hatch a plan to split up and seek help, incorrectly figuring that he can't kill them both and thus the girls are left alone. again. They huddle up in a room and barricade the door hoping to escape the lunatic, but the killer creeps in through an open window (of course) and manages to thin the numbers yet again.

Phallic Weaponry...

Valerie, the girl they purposely didn't invite becomes the unlikely savior as she senses something amiss and checks the place out while looking for her sister who intended to crash the event. After finding a body, she gets caught up in the drama and hides in the basement while hatching an escape plan. In the meanwhile, our final teen standing is cornered and our Killer begins a final monologue. before he can say "WTF!" He's being chased and killed by our now suddenly empowered machete wielding heroine. Like any slasher worth his salt, he re-animates but is then quickly put down for good.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? From the opening scene.

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The Man who Came Back (2008)

A man who fought for the South in the Civil War, is framed for murder and watches his family get killed as he is run out of town after being labeled a negro sympathizer. Slow and dramatic, nothing ever really happens, but the tension is built in a way that makes you think something will. When shit finally does happen, it's so forced and so cartoonishly evil that it takes you away and just makes you want to quit the film out of shame.

Seriously They made the main villain so unbelievably evil. How so? Well here's a checklist of every evil deed (in order):

• He's a former overseer
• Pays slaves in un-redeemable coupons
• Hangs negros (Naturally)
• Sends an innocent man to prison and rapes that man's wife in front of him
• Pistol whipped that man's son and dumped the body down a well [Yes. A fucking water well!]
• Tortures whores
• Massacres negroes
• Shatters a family's tombstones spreads the shards across town
• Brings a whip to a fist fight
• Brings a hidden derringer to a fist fight.

Wow. Just. Wow.
I think only UDay Hussain can say that he's done worse.

Out of Ten? 4

This film is like a long ass western soap opera.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes

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