The Autobots learn of a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden on the moon, and race against the Decepticons to reach it and to learn its secrets.
Apparently after receiving a presidential medal for saving the world in part two, Sam Whitwickey has been living with a hot blonde and is trying to make ends meet.After the events of part two, the Autobots work with the United States government, helping to prevent humans from destroying each other while waiting for the return of their true enemy. On a mission in Chernobyl, marines are attacked by an unknown robot assailant who surprisingly resembles the sand worm from Beetlegeuse. After a short battle with this bot, the Autobots head to the moon to recover their missing ship. On it is awesome robot technology that needs to be found before the Decepticons.
Not too long after that, a familiar face returns. Megatron is back and boy does he look pissed. After shitting on Starscream, he receives a status report. All is going as planned.
After being betrayed on the both ends, the robots have it out in an orgy explosions and smash cuts. The military is there too, mostly providing cool entrances and moral support. By day's end, however, optimus returns in true leader fashion and kicks major ass. He easily dispatches the hench-bots and shows no mercy in destroying all of his enemies.
All Hail Optimus! The One True Prime!
Here are a few of my random thoughts while watching this movie:
- Ooh, this film starts with ass... and there's...LaBeouf. Ass over everyone. Time to get back to work.
- There's quite a few 5 minute LaBeouf montages where he does his talking thing.
- So, optimus is a truck. But what happens to the trailer attached to his back? also, why does one of the autobots have hair? And is that a Decepticon dogbot?
- I bet IT nerds worldwide cringed when razorwing chased Sam through that server room.
- The annoying government hardass is quite hard headed and lame. As usual.
- I can't believe this movie is 2 1/2 hrs. It's Funnier than I anticipated though.
- Optimus Prime is not the first prime. I know There's a math joke in there somewhere...
- The autobots are quickly exiled in an amazing display of American cowardice, whatever happened to " We don't negotiate with terrorists"?
- Decepticons are blowing everything up, including people, and i like it.
- Independence day type speech towards the end, yet in reality, the US armed forces contribute nothing to these movies. That's... unfortunate.
- Is it wrong to cheer for the Decepticons? They are just so ruthlessly evil and they've promised to kill LaBeouf.
- It took three films, but finally, giant robots are fighting and fucking shit up! Seriously it does not need to be as long as it is though.
- Apparently robots bleed sparks.
- Terry Tate: Office Linebacker/Decepticon slayer.
Okay, here's my problem with Transformers 3: I can't say I liked it and I can't say I didn't. I'm really ambivalent towards the whole thing. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was hot. Until she decided to duckface the final act of the film. The military was alright, until you realize that their appearances were all flash and no substance and even while toned down, LaBeouf still annoyed me. If I were grading Solely on the bots, I would give TF3 a higher score. But I can't. Even the name is stupid. Wtf is a "Dark of the Moon?"
I'll meet you halfway.
Out of Ten? 7
I feel that this is fair. Optimus finally got in that Decepticon ass and did you really watch this to see a well crafted story?
Violence? Robot on robot on man on robot action!
Explosions? Pfft. This is a Michael Bay film.
Nudity? Nope.
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