Bullet to the Head (2012)

Stallone is a Hitman who's been in and out of jail and has a long string of arrests but few convictions. At a bar after his last job, he is attacked by a dude, and manages to fight him off, but the guy escapes after killing his partner. He's being tracked down by Detective Kwon a.k.a.The "Ninja Ninja Ninja" guy from Ninja Assassin. Kwon offers to team up, and he refuses of course, but after a group of guys attempted to murder Kwon, he figures they share a common enemy and decides to take him up on his offer.

What do you mean there are no Ninja!!!

Bullet to the Head is a simple film with a simple premise: two guys on opposite sides of the law have the same enemies and must team up to get shit done. This includes a girl (played by the super hot Sarah Shahi) who becomes a damsel and the hired goon who is a beast that must be taken down for them to win. 

The thing about this movie is that it's enjoyable. It doesn't take itself too seriously, yet its not too cheesy either. Stallone's character is named Jimmy Bobo for Christ Sakes. The other thing about this film is that there's a lot happening, but at the same time, nothing is happening. I can't really explain it better. There's a lot happening, but it isn't about anything and while the action and violence are right for its context, I wouldn't say it's over the top, but more "right at the line" instead.

In a world of twilight, hangover and Madea, This is the type of mindless action film that we need. Something manly to let off steam. Stallone clearly knows his audience. He even included a motherfucking axe fight!  Smh. I'm not going to say this movie is dope, but I will say that it was satisfying.

That moment when you squeeze a trigger and a little poo comes out.

 

  

Violence? Headshots. Chest shots. Shots shots.
Explosions? He used to be an explosives expert in the war, so now he explosives everything. He'd fuck around and put a bomb in your coffee if you aren't careful.
Nudity? Not a lot, but it's there. You'll be pleased.