Dinosaur Island (1994)

For some odd reason, Dinosaur Island is known as a cult classic. I can kinda see how and why, but really, although it has its moments, it's not an endearing film.  Everyone loves it for some reason though. Maybe it's the women. Who watches these for anything but the nubile buxom women?

The Cast:

US Army Rangers

Supple Amazons
Lesser Dinosaurs
The Great One a.k.a. A badly animated Trex

The Situation:

While a group of rangers are flying over an island, their plane suffers a mechanical failure and crashes into the ocean. They were able to raft to the nearest island, which they discover is uncharted and through exploration find that it's home to a tribe of Amazonian women and a slew of terrifying dinosaurs.

The women think they are Gods as one of the guys bears the mark of their prophesied savoir. Legend says Gods will fall from the sky, save the island from famine and go Six on one with "The Great One." As they head off to face him down, they discover that it is NOT The Rock, but a terrifying T-Rex and the job won't be as easy as they thought. 

I spent waaayy too much time making this.

The Resolution:

Dynamite to the mouth. Boom. Head off.
The island is saved, the famine is ended, the guys are hailed as heroes and the Amazons will have meat for days.

 

Stray Quotage:

She had [motions breasts]
Hands?
No!
She didn't have hands? Gross!

Men are brainless beasts.
Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will never hurt us.

We have sticks! And stones! Yeah let's break some bones!"

We're soldiers. Like your warriors.
Impossible! You're too small and fleshy to be warriors...Even men.

Violence? Yes
Explosions? One
Nudity? Uh, Yeah. Wanton nudity is the only reason these films exist.