Notorious murderer Garrick Terrell had escaped from police custody and resumed his killing spree. His former girlfriend Sarah is a recovering alcoholic trying to put her life back together in a new town, with a new man.
Sarah plain and tall is in rehab because she realized that she had on beer goggles for the entire duration of her relationship with a man who turned out to be a serial killer. The guilt drives her to rehab as she believes she might have been able to notice his misdeeds earlier if she wasn't always drunk. At the meetings, she meets a guy named Brian and they develop a relationship. What he doesn't know is that her ex is a crazed killer who has escaped from prison and is on his way to reconnect with her.
A Horrible Way To Die has to be one of the lamest and poorly directed films I have ever seen. I understand that he's a first time filmmaker and I get what he was trying to do, but Jesus Christ man, knock it off with the blurry film transition and turn up the audio! It sounded like those muhfukas were chewing marbles. Except for Garrick. That dude spoke clearly and stabbed efficiently.
I had to heavily edit this review in order to avoid spoilers. I don't think you'll watch it, but someone somewhere will, and I don't want them coming after me if they see this blog post first.
Anyway, what follows are thoughts, phrases, etc. The general bullshit that went through my head while I sat through this dreck. Again major spoilers are removed, if not, whatever you aren't going to watch this anyway.
- Fuck your goddamn blurry film transitions! That shit is really annoying. Seriously. This has to be the work of a first time director or something. Camerawork is off, blurred transitions, garbled speech. it's everything you'd expect a YouTube film to be. Story is choppily put together and There's no clear line drawn between past and present. What the fuck am I watching?
- Pre-Prison Garrick looks like the dude from epic meal time. Years (and pounds) later, he escapes prison transport, cleans up his look and goes back on the prowl.
- So the dude kills people and then is genuinely sad that they're dead or is he sad that he now has to put in work to dispose of the bodies? This is not clear.
- Looks like she may have to choose between a Two Pump Chump and a Two Stab Chad.
- I think I just wanted to see where it would go, then I got too far in to quit. I'm regretting this, but holding strong. Film starts so slow and progresses slowly. I already want to quit and I'm like 20 minutes into it. I feel like films like these usually have a good payoff by the end. They have to, right?...Right?
- Did she just pour a bottle of Jack down a toilet and the water turned pink?! This movie is trash!
- If Kevin Smith had a slimmer, psychotic murderous twin, he would be this guy.
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes
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