Rude Awakening

So I was on the train the other day...

...and a hobo gets on and stands opposite where I'm sitting as I'm seated next to this attractive girl. She had knocked out and I started to do the same, but just then, I looked up at the hobo and I noticed five things:

1) A tear in his pants.
2) The tear was from his pockets to his crotch.
3) His hands were in his pockets.
4) They were moving.
5) Shit just got real.

Before I spazzed completely, I realized (and was secretly hoping) that he was after the girl next to me. [I mean, it's flattering and all, but no thanks.] I tried to wake her but she just became annoyed. What could I do? I figured that if I blatantly pointed at that hobo's dick, he would have blown his load at that exact moment, probably on my finger, and I was not having that. I tried to wake her again, but no dice as she wasn't having any of that. I was guessing that this is how the religious must feel, because she flat out refused salvation.

My stop was next and thankfully, I got off before he did. I can't say the same for her though. Fortunately, She was wearing leather. Should rub right out.