***In Celebration of Shark Week, we'll be covering Shark cinema.
Today's film is: Shark Night 3D***
A weekend of beach-house debauchery turns into a nightmare for a group of friends when they discover that the waters are infested with vicious sharks.
So I skipped this movie when it first came out. I was thinking that There's no way this was worth my time. They killed the black guy in the fucking trailer! But you know what, it's Shark Week, and it's a shark movie, so here we are.
A group of college kids take a trip to an island lake house for clear debauchery related purposes. What they aren't aware of, is that the lake is infested with sharks and they are summarily picked off and devoured for our viewing pleasure. Spoiler Alert: The black guys name is "Malik,".and he gets eaten. But not before he makes a spear and kills one in revenge.
Mmmm...dark meat
After a quick battle with that Shark, the kids learn that they may have been released in the lake on purpose, after a tracking device is found. After being captured, they soon learn the villainous plan: Seeing the reception of Shark Week, they planned to release the sharks, film the attacks and sell the footage for profit. They've been providing the bait. I'm telling you people, Shark Week is serious business!
I was expecting a low budget shark destruction film, but what I got was a lot more drama than I wanted or expected. I don't want to say I'm impressed, but I certainly enjoyed this a bit more than I thought I would. But... Here's the problem:
The lack of both nudity and gore is astounding. If you're going to greenlight a film about teens being eaten by sharks, why tone down the blood and titty? We only watch these films for those two reasons exactly.
PG-13 animal attack films are a blight on our cinema.
Out of Ten? 4.5
Violence? Yes
Explosions? One
Nudity? Often teased, but never delivered.
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