Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan (2013)

Axe Giant is a dark, contemporary take on the tall tale. Kids at a first-time offenders' boot camp discover the legend of lumberjack Paul Bunyan is real, but is much more horrifying than they could have imagined.

Here's the story of Paul Bunyan. The absolute truth as told by the local crazy Minnesotan Hillbilly:

He was born with a rare disease that allowed him to be big and tall and live longer, but he'd have the mind of a child. [He became a lumberjack as that just made sense, apparently.] Food was scarce, as animals fled the forest due to the over logging and one winter, the local lumberjacks, hungry, tracked and killed Bunyans blue ox, Babe. He found the loggers cooking and eating him and massacred them. He was hunted down and dragged through town for his crime. They tossed him in an old mine shaft filed with dynamite and lit the fuse, then creating the story of Paul Bunyan the delightful lumberjack to keep prosperity and boost tourism. He escaped from the mine shaft and lived in solitude for years, just growing. The kids disturbed the resting place of his best friend and he aims to kill them all.

Because I want to wrap this up, here's how everyone died:

• The Nerd dies when he grabs the business end of the Crazy old man's rifle.
• Latina is killed when she's chucked into a tree by Bunyan.
• Cocky white dude tries to return what he took from Bunyan, but he gets it spiked right into his chest. Then dragged off for good measure.
• Dick w a badge, Sgt hoke, got chopped in half and then stomped.
• Crazy old man was decapitated
• Slut was spilt in two...by Bunyan's axe. [Having been clam-jammed earlier by the counselor, I'm sure she would have preferred it the other way.] 
• Bunyan is killed by taking a fall into the lake after the local town militia showers him in a hail of bullets
  [The blonde, the counselor and the sheriff lived although the town practically did their best to kill them.]

I'm kind of a sucker for these at risk youth forced into camp and destroyed by some monster movies. The kids are always so terrible and I feel nothing but joy watching them get slaughtered. But I have a problem. At first Paul Bunyan is not a Giant. He is some type of Sasquatch like mongoloid. Then he grows. (He looked like that thing from 300 that betrayed them) Fine. Whatever. What I don't get is how and why his axe grew with him. The ox too. His whole legend makes no sense. Fuck Paul Bunyan! Double fuck you to the Shitty CG and melting muscle suit. Jesus Christ it was terrible.

Seriously, What the Fuck is this?!!

Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes