2012

The plot  (courtesy of IMDB):
"Dr. Adrian Helmsley, part of a worldwide geophysical team investigating the effect on the earth of radiation from unprecedented solar storms, learns that the earth's core is heating up. He warns U.S. President Thomas Wilson that the crust of the earth is becoming unstable and that without proper preparations for saving a fraction of the world's population, the entire race is doomed. Meanwhile, writer Jackson Curtis stumbles on the same information. While the world's leaders race to build "arks" to escape the impending cataclysm, Curtis struggles to find a way to save his family. Meanwhile, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes of unprecedented strength wreak havoc around the world."

Wow, that sure sounds stupid. Not just the plot summary, but the character of "Jackson Curtis," who is played by John Cusak. I wonder how 50 Cent feels about that?



Anyway, boy, was this a terrible movie. At one point, I fell asleep.-I got a good nap in, too.-Woke up, wiped off the drool, and this movie was still on. Taunting me with its suck.

The best part of this movie was the destruction (of course). It turns out that the movie was done by the same guy responsible for the destruction in the Day After Tomorrow,  and Independence day, which explains a lot. Those scenes were amazing and unfortunately for producers and studios, this movie came out before the "Dawn of 3D." A close second was the heavyset Russian guy with the deep voice and thick accent. His only line was, "Good...good," and he delivered it flawlessly. Also, Thandie Newton is hot and Danny Glover held down his role as the President. Also, look out for Woody Harrelson. He plays a small but "significant" role in the flick.

 

That's a sexy couple right thurr (via Filmofilia)

I'm sure this movie looks fantastic on BluRay. But IMAGES ALONE DO NOT SELL A STORY! Story sells a story and this movie just did not have one. I might as well have just watched this shit on mute. It was also a wasted role for my boy Chuy (Chiwetel Ejiofor). I expect an Oliver Platt to be in a movie like this, but come on. John Cusack has been mailing in his roles lately and this movie was no exception. It was almost as if he knew. (I bet he was the second choice behind Nic Cage.)

Knowing Hollywood, somewhere in some dark studio, someone is pitching 2012 pt.2 3D.

Violence? Apparently, Mother Nature is a bitch, and she's very temperamental.
Explosions? Yup. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Basically, if it exists, it probably got blown up.
Nudity? Nowhere to be found in this flick.