When a baby is born on Dec. 12, 2012, everyone around him suddenly starts to die. His mother [refuses to] realize that her son is actually the spawn of Hell.
The film starts with a ritualistic sacrifice. A man in robes, says the magic words, rubs chocolate sauce on the titties of his unwilling sacrifice, and kills her in the name of Baby Satan.
12/11/12
A Man walks into a maternity ward disguised as a nurse, looking for baby.
A woman is trying to give birth. Rather painfully, it seems. The doctors opt for a csection, and
During the procedure the baby comes out on it's own and strangles each doctor with it's own umbilical cord. My guess is that the male nurse found what he was looking for.
12/18/12 Mother, father and child return home from the hospital. Nearly immediately, Male nurse breaks into their home intending to steal the baby, whom they've named Sebastien.
Apparently Sebastian has mind control powers and uses them to get the father to kill himself but not before he uses his powers to project himself going down on her in her mind. (Hail, Baby Satan!) In all the chaos, male nurse steals him but is caught before he can get off the property.
Veronica goes to stay with her sister, Gabriela and male nurse becomes creepy dude and tracks her there and demands to be let in screaming about how she doesn't get it and it's not her baby.
The creepy dude is a doomsdayer and he's coming for the baby because it was born on 12/12/12.
Gabriela comes out with it and says that Sebastian is a creepy fucking child and he kills her before she can finish that sentence. He then kills the cop guarding the house and flees as fast as his baby demon legs can carry him.
The film then shifts to baby's day out as Sebastian wanders and kills everyone who come across him.
A social worker finds him and takes him home. After immediately adopting a Caribbean accent (because she a caretaker,) she is quickly killed too.
12/21/12
Veronica is just randomly walking the streets looking for Sebastian when a detective tells her that the cultist believes that the devil will come out of that baby in 7 minutes and they race to stop it. But they are obviously too late and the baby has gone full Satan.
They capture her and intend to use her as a sacrifice to fulfill their prophecy, but her boobs manage to break free; Crazy cultist gives chase, determined to slather them with chocolate sauce. His chest manages to eat lead and in his last breath he orders Lil Satan to kill her. Because she still sees him as her son (for some ungodly plot hole) she refuses to Han Solo him. Satan Jr. doesn't hesitate.
He also kills the priest that shows up with enough time to help her but decides to spend the time sermonizing instead.
12/12/12 is an asylum movie. I felt obligated to watch this dreck because I've already seen all three 11/11/11 films and logically it made sense finish this one. It was terrible, but I can't be too mad at a film that starts with a man in a robe rubbing chocolate sauce all over a naked and subdued woman in the midst of a ritual sacrifice. I expected it to be bad as it really couldn't be anything else.What I didn't expect, was the possibility of a sequel.
13/13/13 anyone?
Out of Ten? 4.5
(.5 for Chocolate Titties...[which would be a solid band name, in addition to being delicious])
Violence? Yes
Explosions? No
Nudity? Yes
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